AUTHOR: Dave Sypniewski DATE: Thursday, March 23, 2006 ----- BODY: Didn't get to see the "TV Land" awards Wednesday night? Not to worry, it will be re-broadcast about fifty more times within the next week! Now, this two hour show is surrounded in a shroud of mystery not only because of the large guest list of attendees, but these people are receiving awards for television shows that haven't been around for 30, 40, and 50 years! I got lost when Adam West and Burt Ward received a "Lifetime Achievement" award for Batman. That's it? That's their legacy? Three seasons on TV prancing around in tights and capes and now they can retire down in Florida? Suffice it to say, even Batman and Robin and all their arch enemies couldn't do anything when it came to residual payments, which is why Adam West will do anything for work...I mean, anything! Even make fun of himself on Family Guy and The King of Queens! "Billy Who?" Billy Crystal wasn't invited to host The Academy Awards this year, so when TV Land gave him a jingle to present an award to ailing comedian, Sid Caesar he picked up the phone on the first ring. For the few brief minutes that both men were on stage, you could almost hear Caesar say under his breath "Who is this schmuck? Oh yeah, he was in that picture with Jack Palance about the cowboys!" Meanwhile, Billy once again managed to suck up to the man and called Caesar the main reason he got into show business. After all the schmoozing, I still don't think Caesar had a clue who Crystal was! More Good Times...Who's ready to explain this one: Good Times slid downhill in the mid-70's as various cast members took a leave due to the show's stereotypes. John Amos (Dad) got fed up and after a money dispute his character was "killed off" in an accident. So, who was the first to grab the award and say what an honor it was to do the sitcom? John Amos...back from the dead. Another rumor concerned Ralph Carter (Michael). TV Land's website had recently mentioned Carter had died from AIDS, was a junkie, and broke. Yet, he was there too! Is it me, or is Jimmy Walker getting blacker and blacker the older he gets? Beam these guys up Scotty. Taking time off from hawking crappy websites, Bill Shatner and Leonard Nimoy shared the spotlight and proved once again, there's still plenty of mileage left on "The Enterprise". It was Shatner's 75th Birthday yesterday too however, poor Shatner may have a bookcase full of trophies from his current Boston Legal or whatever it is. The crowd was more excited than when George Takai came out of the closet last year! Finally, my closing thoughts...New York City isn't dirty, they give it a good cleaning every 50 years or so! You may have heard this story from the other day where some workers stumbled upon a bunch of moldy boxes and metal drums filled with water. These items were discovered in a secret passage under the Brooklyn Bridge and were stamped by the government with the years 1958 and 1962. So, these artifacts were left over from the Cuban Missile Crisis in which America was planning on a nuclear war. Besides the water, there was cookies and crackers. One of the workers actually taste tested a moldy cracker! The people back then who were busy preparing for doomsday weren't too bright. Hiding under a bridge or under a desk won't help you when the missiles come raining down. Before they loaded up the boxes to figure out how they got under there, fifty people popped out of a crack in the foundation of the bridge and asked the workers if the nuclear war is finally over. They will be shipping them to The Smithsonian too! THAT'S the way I see things today! -------- Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!: "A stroll through TV Land" and "A bridge in Brooklyn to sell!"

Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!

Thursday, March 23, 2006

"A stroll through TV Land" and "A bridge in Brooklyn to sell!"

Didn't get to see the "TV Land" awards Wednesday night? Not to worry, it will be re-broadcast about fifty more times within the next week! Now, this two hour show is surrounded in a shroud of mystery not only because of the large guest list of attendees, but these people are receiving awards for television shows that haven't been around for 30, 40, and 50 years! I got lost when Adam West and Burt Ward received a "Lifetime Achievement" award for Batman. That's it? That's their legacy? Three seasons on TV prancing around in tights and capes and now they can retire down in Florida? Suffice it to say, even Batman and Robin and all their arch enemies couldn't do anything when it came to residual payments, which is why Adam West will do anything for work...I mean, anything! Even make fun of himself on Family Guy and The King of Queens! "Billy Who?" Billy Crystal wasn't invited to host The Academy Awards this year, so when TV Land gave him a jingle to present an award to ailing comedian, Sid Caesar he picked up the phone on the first ring. For the few brief minutes that both men were on stage, you could almost hear Caesar say under his breath "Who is this schmuck? Oh yeah, he was in that picture with Jack Palance about the cowboys!" Meanwhile, Billy once again managed to suck up to the man and called Caesar the main reason he got into show business. After all the schmoozing, I still don't think Caesar had a clue who Crystal was! More Good Times...Who's ready to explain this one: Good Times slid downhill in the mid-70's as various cast members took a leave due to the show's stereotypes. John Amos (Dad) got fed up and after a money dispute his character was "killed off" in an accident. So, who was the first to grab the award and say what an honor it was to do the sitcom? John Amos...back from the dead. Another rumor concerned Ralph Carter (Michael). TV Land's website had recently mentioned Carter had died from AIDS, was a junkie, and broke. Yet, he was there too! Is it me, or is Jimmy Walker getting blacker and blacker the older he gets? Beam these guys up Scotty. Taking time off from hawking crappy websites, Bill Shatner and Leonard Nimoy shared the spotlight and proved once again, there's still plenty of mileage left on "The Enterprise". It was Shatner's 75th Birthday yesterday too however, poor Shatner may have a bookcase full of trophies from his current Boston Legal or whatever it is. The crowd was more excited than when George Takai came out of the closet last year! Finally, my closing thoughts...New York City isn't dirty, they give it a good cleaning every 50 years or so! You may have heard this story from the other day where some workers stumbled upon a bunch of moldy boxes and metal drums filled with water. These items were discovered in a secret passage under the Brooklyn Bridge and were stamped by the government with the years 1958 and 1962. So, these artifacts were left over from the Cuban Missile Crisis in which America was planning on a nuclear war. Besides the water, there was cookies and crackers. One of the workers actually taste tested a moldy cracker! The people back then who were busy preparing for doomsday weren't too bright. Hiding under a bridge or under a desk won't help you when the missiles come raining down. Before they loaded up the boxes to figure out how they got under there, fifty people popped out of a crack in the foundation of the bridge and asked the workers if the nuclear war is finally over. They will be shipping them to The Smithsonian too! THAT'S the way I see things today!

posted by Dave Sypniewski at Thursday, March 23, 2006

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home