AUTHOR: Dave Sypniewski DATE: Monday, March 13, 2006 ----- BODY: All you have to do is pick a Friday, Saturday, or Sunday at three or four in the morning when you can't sleep, and you're likely to run into television's most "All American Dad", Tom Bosley. Years after the lights went out on the set of Happy Days, Bosley apparently has fallen on hard times and needs to be a pitchman for a "get rich quick scheme". The reason I'm writing about the Specialty Merchandise Corporation or SMC for short, is that a new round of infomercials are playing without Bosley in them. Instead, there's a heavy set fellow with Drew Carey's glasses, haircut and even voice, making a pitch for the same place. I noticed this "coincidence" almost immediately. I'll give Drew some credit for the outcome of this. Grant it, for them to use a "stunt double", means that even though Drew has had a few shows tank in recent years (including of course the show that was his namesake), he's not quite at the point where he's ready to give a "fly by night" company his services to sell CRAP! Most things on TV infomercials are gadgets and gizmos sold for $40 which you can pick up for under $10 at Walgreen's or CVS within six months unless you absolutely HAVE to get it right now! With the SMC program however, you need to send them a few hundred bucks just to learn what you're getting yourself into. From there, you'll need to create your own website for a couple hundred bucks extra (See, you can only use the "Official" SMC software to do this!!). Now, if you use your favorite search engine to look up this "Big Corporation", you'll be impressed that there may be several thousand places to click on. These are basically links back to the "Headquarters" where if you happen to buy something, the person running that "link" will get credit for your purchase. Income of a few million clams a year? Not even close. The two photos above are typical of what's in their catalog. When was the last time you went to Marshall Field's and saw either a glass sea serpent or a wizard inside of a combination snowglobe/music box and said to yourself, "I simply must have it!"? If you want it that bad, they have the same thing at Wal-Mart for $5, Marshall Field's for $30, and SMC for $40 plus S+H! Just like the controversial Michael Moore, what started as a goof has turned into a project. No film crews here, just a guy asking "Why?". Now, considering the average folks on their infomercials were able to retire at 30 and purchase three homes across the U.S. Coastline by selling these carnival trinkets to alloof Senior Citizens, you would think that the SMC logo sits high atop a New York City skyscraper because they're probably worth BILLIONS of bucks. Not so. The California based "Corporation" has a little over a dozen employees, and is so large that even though they hooked Tom Bosley and a Drew Carey look-alike, they don't even have: a toll-free telephone number, an e-mail address or fax number! You want to speak to them? It will also cost you a long distance phone call to California for "more information" before you start writing checks to THEM to get started! I have many burning questions to address to them, so this story is to be "continued". Before computers, there was a little company called, Amway. Enough said! -------- Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!: ...And you thought the prizes at the carnival were bad!

Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!

Monday, March 13, 2006

...And you thought the prizes at the carnival were bad!

All you have to do is pick a Friday, Saturday, or Sunday at three or four in the morning when you can't sleep, and you're likely to run into television's most "All American Dad", Tom Bosley. Years after the lights went out on the set of Happy Days, Bosley apparently has fallen on hard times and needs to be a pitchman for a "get rich quick scheme". The reason I'm writing about the Specialty Merchandise Corporation or SMC for short, is that a new round of infomercials are playing without Bosley in them. Instead, there's a heavy set fellow with Drew Carey's glasses, haircut and even voice, making a pitch for the same place. I noticed this "coincidence" almost immediately. I'll give Drew some credit for the outcome of this. Grant it, for them to use a "stunt double", means that even though Drew has had a few shows tank in recent years (including of course the show that was his namesake), he's not quite at the point where he's ready to give a "fly by night" company his services to sell CRAP! Most things on TV infomercials are gadgets and gizmos sold for $40 which you can pick up for under $10 at Walgreen's or CVS within six months unless you absolutely HAVE to get it right now! With the SMC program however, you need to send them a few hundred bucks just to learn what you're getting yourself into. From there, you'll need to create your own website for a couple hundred bucks extra (See, you can only use the "Official" SMC software to do this!!). Now, if you use your favorite search engine to look up this "Big Corporation", you'll be impressed that there may be several thousand places to click on. These are basically links back to the "Headquarters" where if you happen to buy something, the person running that "link" will get credit for your purchase. Income of a few million clams a year? Not even close. The two photos above are typical of what's in their catalog. When was the last time you went to Marshall Field's and saw either a glass sea serpent or a wizard inside of a combination snowglobe/music box and said to yourself, "I simply must have it!"? If you want it that bad, they have the same thing at Wal-Mart for $5, Marshall Field's for $30, and SMC for $40 plus S+H! Just like the controversial Michael Moore, what started as a goof has turned into a project. No film crews here, just a guy asking "Why?". Now, considering the average folks on their infomercials were able to retire at 30 and purchase three homes across the U.S. Coastline by selling these carnival trinkets to alloof Senior Citizens, you would think that the SMC logo sits high atop a New York City skyscraper because they're probably worth BILLIONS of bucks. Not so. The California based "Corporation" has a little over a dozen employees, and is so large that even though they hooked Tom Bosley and a Drew Carey look-alike, they don't even have: a toll-free telephone number, an e-mail address or fax number! You want to speak to them? It will also cost you a long distance phone call to California for "more information" before you start writing checks to THEM to get started! I have many burning questions to address to them, so this story is to be "continued". Before computers, there was a little company called, Amway. Enough said!

posted by Dave Sypniewski at Monday, March 13, 2006

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