AUTHOR: Dave Sypniewski DATE: Sunday, June 25, 2006 ----- BODY: "Ships ahoy mates. It's time to look back at the life and times of Mr. Aaron Spelling, who left God's green earth two days ago. This man who was also known by the name "Lucifer" carved out a special niche at 666 Hollywood Blvd. The guy created some of the worst television ever. Shows like The Love Boat, Fantasy Island, The MOD Squad and Charlie's Angels. People swarmed around their television sets like flies around a pile of horseshit. Grant it me lads and lasses, he made big stars out of unknown actors and actresses. Take that bimbo Farrah Fawcett for example. He made no bones about the fact that when Charlie's Angels was becoming a sinking ship, he advised Farrah Fawcett to pose for some pictures that would eventually become posters on teenagers walls. Spelling loved "T&A" and didn't raise an eyebrow when the half-nude Farrah was sprayed with a cold water spritzer to wear her nipples poked through her shirt. Later, he pulled the same trick with his own daughter on Beverly Hills 90210. When the ratings were going downhill, Tori Spelling was asked to do the same thing. In other words mates, he prostituted his own daughter! It didn't help however, Tori's nice body was one thing, but her face looks like someone whacked her with a hockey stick. Mr. Spelling was also deeply involved in the career development of one Heather Locklear. With the exception of Heather making headlines in the tabloids with her marriage problems, she still remains one of Spelling's best achievements and hasn't aged a bit either. Now there have been attempts over the years to revive some of Spelling's 1970's hits...The New Love Boat sank quicker than the Titanic. The New Fantasy Island as it turns out, was no fantasy. More or less a nightmare. The devil himself in his later years tried to redeem himself. His last project was the squeaky clean 7th Heaven which ended in a dissapointment and then it was discovered, never really ended at all. I say, rest in peace Aaron Spelling...even though I thought you've been dead for a few years already!" -------- Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!: "Mr. Spelling's legacy ends with him becoming worm food"

Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!

Sunday, June 25, 2006

"Mr. Spelling's legacy ends with him becoming worm food"

"Ships ahoy mates. It's time to look back at the life and times of Mr. Aaron Spelling, who left God's green earth two days ago. This man who was also known by the name "Lucifer" carved out a special niche at 666 Hollywood Blvd. The guy created some of the worst television ever. Shows like The Love Boat, Fantasy Island, The MOD Squad and Charlie's Angels. People swarmed around their television sets like flies around a pile of horseshit. Grant it me lads and lasses, he made big stars out of unknown actors and actresses. Take that bimbo Farrah Fawcett for example. He made no bones about the fact that when Charlie's Angels was becoming a sinking ship, he advised Farrah Fawcett to pose for some pictures that would eventually become posters on teenagers walls. Spelling loved "T&A" and didn't raise an eyebrow when the half-nude Farrah was sprayed with a cold water spritzer to wear her nipples poked through her shirt. Later, he pulled the same trick with his own daughter on Beverly Hills 90210. When the ratings were going downhill, Tori Spelling was asked to do the same thing. In other words mates, he prostituted his own daughter! It didn't help however, Tori's nice body was one thing, but her face looks like someone whacked her with a hockey stick. Mr. Spelling was also deeply involved in the career development of one Heather Locklear. With the exception of Heather making headlines in the tabloids with her marriage problems, she still remains one of Spelling's best achievements and hasn't aged a bit either. Now there have been attempts over the years to revive some of Spelling's 1970's hits...The New Love Boat sank quicker than the Titanic. The New Fantasy Island as it turns out, was no fantasy. More or less a nightmare. The devil himself in his later years tried to redeem himself. His last project was the squeaky clean 7th Heaven which ended in a dissapointment and then it was discovered, never really ended at all. I say, rest in peace Aaron Spelling...even though I thought you've been dead for a few years already!"

posted by Dave Sypniewski at Sunday, June 25, 2006

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