Dustin Diamond's Dilly of a Pickle.
Oh, Jimminy Christmas mates, Screeeech is about to become homeless. The former child star from Saved By The Bell has let business decisions get in the way of everyday life. You see my bucaneers, Dustin Diamond is just like every other child prodigy...he made the mistake of letting his relatives handle his finances. The money hungry S.O.B.'s left Dustin with only his shirt on his back. Not to worry though, Dustin is selling shirts for $15 or $20 if you require an autograph. See, Mr. Screeech can't pay his bills on his ritzy Wisconsin home. First advice Dustin: Don't ever do business with a loan shark. They're called "shark" for a reason. Now you have two weeks to come up with $250,00 or else you'll get busted knee-caps or a tire iron over the head. What the hell were you thinking? I know, you love your house near Appleton but, Why the hell should I help you out financially? I need help myself. Captain Jack autographed t-shirts are on the way. I'm going to rip into your territory without being an obnoxious asshole. In addition to the shirts, I hear you're a stand up comedian now. That makes sense. Everyone in the room stands up and looks for the exit. Have you considered becoming a porn star? You have Dustin Diamond going for you! You ought to be ashamed of yourself mate. There's folks out there that actually need the money to have a roof over their head. Captain Jack and Gertie would make you walk the plank Screeeech!
posted by Dave Sypniewski at
Friday, June 23, 2006
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