AUTHOR: Dave Sypniewski DATE: Monday, June 12, 2006 ----- BODY: You could probably call this the "Last Two Weeks in Review" and that would be just dandy. The truth is, we've been pretty busy preparing for the beginning of summer. Now, some people may argue that summer typically starts with Memorial Day. I on the other hand, believe it officially begins on June 14th or "Flag Day". Someone needs to look into making this day a holiday too instead of just an asterisk in our datebooks. Let's face it, Old Glory always takes a backseat to the other holidays where it gets pushed to the side. Memorial Day, 4th of July, Labor Day and Veterans Day all constitute a day off, but June 14th is pretty much business as usual and I have a few good reasons why: For starters, Americans are just plain stupid. That's right! How often have you been to a ballgame and a bunch of morons around you refuse to take their hat off during the National Anthem? What about the jerks that hold a conversation through it? To make matters worse, you have to get there early if you want a good parking space...by the time the National Anthem rolls around, most people are on their 5th beer. It's no wonder why nobody remembers the words to that song! Displaying the flag is another problem. People hang it up the wrong way, put it on the pole upside down or if it falls on the ground they put it in the washing machine with the dark colored clothes and hang it up again. If you're like me, you're one of those folks that puts the flag out regardless of the fact that it looks like it was in Pearl Harbor. Arizona is on the right track. A bill was signed that requires all classrooms K-12 to have flags on display. They must meet certain size requirements, must be clearly visible, and must be made in America. Yes, there's a good chance that your flag was made in China! With that in mind, Happy Flag Day! "Big Brother" babysits son and daughter?! I see that Verizon Wireless is making it possible for you and your kids to have a "Mexican standoff" when it comes to using that gosh darn cellphone that you bought them last Christmas. A new ringtone is out for the phone that makes it possible for them to use the phone and text friends at school while adults nearby won't even notice what's going on. This ringtone is said to be somewhat of a "dog whistle" of sorts, because only kids can hear the high-pitched sound. This is already causing a frenzy with teachers planning for the fall school year who fear that whippersnappers will take advantage of the ringtone when it comes time to take a test. Someone on the outside could easily supply the answers and make that "D" student get straight "A"'s. That's something new for the kiddies. On the other end of the spectrum, parents should be tickled pink that their kids phone will soon be able to double as a tracking device. For $20 a month you can turn any phone into a "GPS" and when your kid says he's going to the movies, you can program it into your phone. If he goes off track, a recorded message will phone you and tell you where he's at. Not bad...and no ankle bracelets to make your kid look silly! Survey says...enough already! Donald Trump needs another money making project like I need a hole in my head. "The Donald" is considering putting on a top hat and tuxedo for a real life version of "Monopoly". This won't be a remake of the failed 1980's game show, this will be people making real deals with real money on real property. I don't know how he'll pull it off, or if it will even make it to television however, how ironic that the classic board game was created during the "Great Depression" when people were broke and forced to wait in line all day for a loaf of stale bread. In 2006, the game iis re-created by a man who lights his cigars with $100 bills. Is nothing sacred anymore? Here's hoping this idea doesn't pass go and collect $200! "Desperate 90's pop singers?" He started off his career with a heavy metal record in 1982. Was once considered as a replacement for lead singer David Coverdale of Whitesnake, and he had that beautiful long hair that only Rumplestiltskin could love...Michael Bolton is the man, and "Desperate Housewives" star Nicolette Sheridan enjoyed a romantic fling with the guy before going solo after a few years of fighting over who's hair was clogging the drain in the shower. After more than a decade apart, the two have rekindled the affair and are now planning a wedding. Meanwhile, after cutting off his long locks, Bolton has borrowed a page from Rod Stewart and taken the time to record a CD of hits made popular by Frank Sinatra. Here's the thing: He's got Nicolette joining him on a few duets...an actress! I hope there's room enough in Sinatra's casket for him to roll over. OK, Bolton did have a large following at one time, but this is as kooky as when John Lennon shared his last studio album "Double Fantasy" with the tone deaf Yoko Ono. No need to make space on the fireplace mantle Michael. There won't be a Grammy. I think this is one of those "TV Only" deals from K-Tel. I could be wrong?! Whew! As you've probably noticed, The Pig has been taking a lot of vacation time lately. Reason for that is, as is the case with your favorites on television, we'll return to a full-time daily basis at the end of August. No reruns here! Meantime, to take advantage of the weather outside we cut back to a once a week schedule. For now, check us out every Sunday night online for a synopsis of "The Week in Review"! OINK! -------- Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!: "O'er the ramparts of night?","You can't hear me now!" and "Mr. Moneybags in reality"

Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!

Monday, June 12, 2006

"O'er the ramparts of night?","You can't hear me now!" and "Mr. Moneybags in reality"

You could probably call this the "Last Two Weeks in Review" and that would be just dandy. The truth is, we've been pretty busy preparing for the beginning of summer. Now, some people may argue that summer typically starts with Memorial Day. I on the other hand, believe it officially begins on June 14th or "Flag Day". Someone needs to look into making this day a holiday too instead of just an asterisk in our datebooks. Let's face it, Old Glory always takes a backseat to the other holidays where it gets pushed to the side. Memorial Day, 4th of July, Labor Day and Veterans Day all constitute a day off, but June 14th is pretty much business as usual and I have a few good reasons why: For starters, Americans are just plain stupid. That's right! How often have you been to a ballgame and a bunch of morons around you refuse to take their hat off during the National Anthem? What about the jerks that hold a conversation through it? To make matters worse, you have to get there early if you want a good parking space...by the time the National Anthem rolls around, most people are on their 5th beer. It's no wonder why nobody remembers the words to that song! Displaying the flag is another problem. People hang it up the wrong way, put it on the pole upside down or if it falls on the ground they put it in the washing machine with the dark colored clothes and hang it up again. If you're like me, you're one of those folks that puts the flag out regardless of the fact that it looks like it was in Pearl Harbor. Arizona is on the right track. A bill was signed that requires all classrooms K-12 to have flags on display. They must meet certain size requirements, must be clearly visible, and must be made in America. Yes, there's a good chance that your flag was made in China! With that in mind, Happy Flag Day! "Big Brother" babysits son and daughter?! I see that Verizon Wireless is making it possible for you and your kids to have a "Mexican standoff" when it comes to using that gosh darn cellphone that you bought them last Christmas. A new ringtone is out for the phone that makes it possible for them to use the phone and text friends at school while adults nearby won't even notice what's going on. This ringtone is said to be somewhat of a "dog whistle" of sorts, because only kids can hear the high-pitched sound. This is already causing a frenzy with teachers planning for the fall school year who fear that whippersnappers will take advantage of the ringtone when it comes time to take a test. Someone on the outside could easily supply the answers and make that "D" student get straight "A"'s. That's something new for the kiddies. On the other end of the spectrum, parents should be tickled pink that their kids phone will soon be able to double as a tracking device. For $20 a month you can turn any phone into a "GPS" and when your kid says he's going to the movies, you can program it into your phone. If he goes off track, a recorded message will phone you and tell you where he's at. Not bad...and no ankle bracelets to make your kid look silly! Survey says...enough already! Donald Trump needs another money making project like I need a hole in my head. "The Donald" is considering putting on a top hat and tuxedo for a real life version of "Monopoly". This won't be a remake of the failed 1980's game show, this will be people making real deals with real money on real property. I don't know how he'll pull it off, or if it will even make it to television however, how ironic that the classic board game was created during the "Great Depression" when people were broke and forced to wait in line all day for a loaf of stale bread. In 2006, the game iis re-created by a man who lights his cigars with $100 bills. Is nothing sacred anymore? Here's hoping this idea doesn't pass go and collect $200! "Desperate 90's pop singers?" He started off his career with a heavy metal record in 1982. Was once considered as a replacement for lead singer David Coverdale of Whitesnake, and he had that beautiful long hair that only Rumplestiltskin could love...Michael Bolton is the man, and "Desperate Housewives" star Nicolette Sheridan enjoyed a romantic fling with the guy before going solo after a few years of fighting over who's hair was clogging the drain in the shower. After more than a decade apart, the two have rekindled the affair and are now planning a wedding. Meanwhile, after cutting off his long locks, Bolton has borrowed a page from Rod Stewart and taken the time to record a CD of hits made popular by Frank Sinatra. Here's the thing: He's got Nicolette joining him on a few duets...an actress! I hope there's room enough in Sinatra's casket for him to roll over. OK, Bolton did have a large following at one time, but this is as kooky as when John Lennon shared his last studio album "Double Fantasy" with the tone deaf Yoko Ono. No need to make space on the fireplace mantle Michael. There won't be a Grammy. I think this is one of those "TV Only" deals from K-Tel. I could be wrong?! Whew! As you've probably noticed, The Pig has been taking a lot of vacation time lately. Reason for that is, as is the case with your favorites on television, we'll return to a full-time daily basis at the end of August. No reruns here! Meantime, to take advantage of the weather outside we cut back to a once a week schedule. For now, check us out every Sunday night online for a synopsis of "The Week in Review"! OINK!

posted by Dave Sypniewski at Monday, June 12, 2006

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