AUTHOR: Dave Sypniewski DATE: Tuesday, May 09, 2006 ----- BODY: When I heard the news today, I became angrier than Speedy Gozales with the hershey squirts! First Lady, Mrs. Bush came up with a lame brain scheme thanks to a plea by a few individuals to persuade Congress to give the green light to a second National Anthem. Only catch is, the new one would be in Spanish! Is it not bad enough that we're already finding all kinds of loopholes in the system that allows anyone with a suitcase to unpack their bags and call the U.S. home? Thank goodness George W. put his foot down and walked away the winner in this argument. He may be sleeping on the couch in the White House lobby for a while, but it will be for a good cause. Meanwhile, while Mrs. Bush wants to bend over backwards to make immigrants feel at home, I don't recall hearing about other places around the world rewriting all their documents in English...Still looking for a way to die. Illusionist David Blaine is a real mess after exiting his water filled bubble. He may not broken any records, but he was able to make the 10:00 news, and also managed to do severe damage to some of his vital organs, not to mention coming out looking like a California raisin. I'd say that Blaine has nothing but a streak of bad luck. Afterall, there's a thousand different ways to die and he can't get it right. Maybe it's time for him to turn things up a few notches. How about a strait jacket and a few chains while standing in the middle of a highway with an 18 wheeler coming at him going about 80 mph? There's no room for error with a stunt like that. Either you make it or you don't. That got me thinking about how Walt Disney would feel knowing that Disney-owned ABC is putting crap like David Blaine and a MFTV movie about "the Avian Flu". That's a long ways from Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck! At the same time that this stuff is being shown on television, Disney announced that after twentysomething years, they'll be dissolving their partnership with McDonald's because doggone it, the food there isn't "family friendly" and not the healthiest for the little ones who bug there parents for the "Happy Meal" with the little Disney toys. I say that's crazy! If they want to start trimming the fat, Disney ought to look at streamlining the menu choices at their two parks. Unless you want to spend $20 for a plate of pasta at Epcot Center, your choices pretty much come down to hamburgers, tacos, and sub sandwiches. It's really quite simple...while Disney seeks a divorcce from Ronald McDonald because their food will eventually kill you, it's OK to show us Blaine and scare the hell out of us with a movie in which the bird flu which inches closer to the United States kills everyone in it's path. Are you scared yet? -------- Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!: Ay! Carumba!, "Insane in the Blaine", and "Taking the Magic away from the Kingdom"

Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Ay! Carumba!, "Insane in the Blaine", and "Taking the Magic away from the Kingdom"

When I heard the news today, I became angrier than Speedy Gozales with the hershey squirts! First Lady, Mrs. Bush came up with a lame brain scheme thanks to a plea by a few individuals to persuade Congress to give the green light to a second National Anthem. Only catch is, the new one would be in Spanish! Is it not bad enough that we're already finding all kinds of loopholes in the system that allows anyone with a suitcase to unpack their bags and call the U.S. home? Thank goodness George W. put his foot down and walked away the winner in this argument. He may be sleeping on the couch in the White House lobby for a while, but it will be for a good cause. Meanwhile, while Mrs. Bush wants to bend over backwards to make immigrants feel at home, I don't recall hearing about other places around the world rewriting all their documents in English...Still looking for a way to die. Illusionist David Blaine is a real mess after exiting his water filled bubble. He may not broken any records, but he was able to make the 10:00 news, and also managed to do severe damage to some of his vital organs, not to mention coming out looking like a California raisin. I'd say that Blaine has nothing but a streak of bad luck. Afterall, there's a thousand different ways to die and he can't get it right. Maybe it's time for him to turn things up a few notches. How about a strait jacket and a few chains while standing in the middle of a highway with an 18 wheeler coming at him going about 80 mph? There's no room for error with a stunt like that. Either you make it or you don't. That got me thinking about how Walt Disney would feel knowing that Disney-owned ABC is putting crap like David Blaine and a MFTV movie about "the Avian Flu". That's a long ways from Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck! At the same time that this stuff is being shown on television, Disney announced that after twentysomething years, they'll be dissolving their partnership with McDonald's because doggone it, the food there isn't "family friendly" and not the healthiest for the little ones who bug there parents for the "Happy Meal" with the little Disney toys. I say that's crazy! If they want to start trimming the fat, Disney ought to look at streamlining the menu choices at their two parks. Unless you want to spend $20 for a plate of pasta at Epcot Center, your choices pretty much come down to hamburgers, tacos, and sub sandwiches. It's really quite simple...while Disney seeks a divorcce from Ronald McDonald because their food will eventually kill you, it's OK to show us Blaine and scare the hell out of us with a movie in which the bird flu which inches closer to the United States kills everyone in it's path. Are you scared yet?

posted by Dave Sypniewski at Tuesday, May 09, 2006

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