AUTHOR: Dave Sypniewski DATE: Friday, April 21, 2006 ----- BODY: Fasten your seatbelts and get ready for a wild ride...it's Friday and here's a few things that got overlooked this week. THE WEEK IN REVIEW! Yes, as far as I know the Olsen sisters have neither any singing ability or experience with strumming a guitar. You must admit though, all four of these photos share one common theme however, and that's all the $$$$$ that they manage to pull in. Everyone knows "Victoria's Secret" BUT, what about the store that started it all by posing half naked mannequins in their mall windows? "Frederick's of Hollywood" is returning to the mix, and this time around the targets are young ladies in their 20's. So, in a rather bold move the Olsen's are making the jump from kids clothes at Wal-Mart to lingerie at Frederick's. Not to be outdone, Mandy Moore and Jessica Biehl have signed on as well. Hey, now your kids don't have to surf the Net to find phony photos that were "Photoshopped". All you have to do is take them to the mall for a peek in the window. There you will see Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen replicas modeling in their bra and panties! Sorry Mick. This rolling stone will come to a complete stop and be full of moss (if it ever happens in the first place). You have to give the Networks some slack. They're trying really hard, REALLY HARD to get out of the rut that's known as "Reality TV". Some shows are already suffering an early demise (tonight "Celebrity Cookoff" got axed after only a few airings). As a sidenote, the funny thing is, these shows always come back for a second try on one of the few hundred cable and satellite channels. It only goes to show that all these channels are like a big landfill...all the garbage gets dumped there to decompose! Anyway, since the end of "Seinfeld" and perhaps "Frasier", there hasn't been any decent sitcoms around that would hold someone's attention for a decade or so. Don't worry, that's not going to happen anytime soon either. ABC has signed a deal with Mick Jagger to do a sitcom in which he plays pretty much himself...but the twist is, he's a rock star that becomes taken hostage by some groupies! Now ain't that funny? I predict they shoot the pilot episode and it never makes it past the testing audience. I'd rather see another full hour of 20/20! Bye, Bye Miss American Pie. Drove my Chevy to the levy but the levy was dry. Now that you'll have that song in your head all day, this has been a busy week for auctioneers. It seems as though people have been cleaning out their closets, looking behind their drywalls, and poking around the attic for ways to make a quick million bucks. "The day the music died" was when the plane carrying Buddy Holly, Richie Valance, and The Big Bopper crashed and killed all three musicians. Some policeman in the 1950's arrived on the scene and the first thing he did was step over all the bodies and take Buddy Holly's wrist watch. Now after all these years, he auctioned it off for several hundred thousand clams. The same thing can be said for some love letters that someone had tucked away that were written by Marilyn Monroe or rather, Norma Jean Baker. Alas, today another item was auctioned off for a quarter of a million dollars. It was a little book that belonged to a young John Lennon. The signifigance with this treasure is that it's said to have been the inspiration for The Beatles' "I am the walrus" koo koo kachoo. Items like these usually double in value after they change hands several times before landing at their final resting place. These people say that money isn't the issue. I say, if that's the case then why not give these things to a museum? Finishing things off this time around is more John Lennon. While surfing through cable earlier, I stumbled across an interview on MSNBC with two Englishman who have come up with a scheme to host a pay per view on Sunday where get this, they plan to talk to John Lennon. The psychic said he's already contacted Lennon a few times and he's doing quite well on the other side, though still a little peeved at the guy that gunned him down. The psychic fellow went on to say that the audience is going to be in for a surprise as Lennon will transmit new music and lyrics to the songs. "It will be phenomenal!" he said. Attorneys will be present on the show to immediately copyright all the material that is "wired" through. With the blessings of Yoko Ono, Paul and Ringo, the guy says that it's a pretty good bet that there will be a new CD! Only problem is, the three I've just mentioned think this idea is a bunch of malarkey. Both men agreed that Yoko, Paul, and Ringo probably won't be paying the $39.95 but, like a nice car accident "they'll have to take a peek". The host asked the men what will happen if John Lennon doesn't feel like talking on Sunday. "Then we'll be screwed" they said. Yup! Save yourself a scewjob and play some Lennon records instead. Remember Al Capone's vault? All Geraldo could find was a beer bottle from the 1970'! Decades after Capone was dead and buried! Happy Friday! -------- Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!: "One of these things is not like the other. Can you guess which one?"

Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!

Friday, April 21, 2006

"One of these things is not like the other. Can you guess which one?"

Fasten your seatbelts and get ready for a wild ride...it's Friday and here's a few things that got overlooked this week. THE WEEK IN REVIEW! Yes, as far as I know the Olsen sisters have neither any singing ability or experience with strumming a guitar. You must admit though, all four of these photos share one common theme however, and that's all the $$$$$ that they manage to pull in. Everyone knows "Victoria's Secret" BUT, what about the store that started it all by posing half naked mannequins in their mall windows? "Frederick's of Hollywood" is returning to the mix, and this time around the targets are young ladies in their 20's. So, in a rather bold move the Olsen's are making the jump from kids clothes at Wal-Mart to lingerie at Frederick's. Not to be outdone, Mandy Moore and Jessica Biehl have signed on as well. Hey, now your kids don't have to surf the Net to find phony photos that were "Photoshopped". All you have to do is take them to the mall for a peek in the window. There you will see Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen replicas modeling in their bra and panties! Sorry Mick. This rolling stone will come to a complete stop and be full of moss (if it ever happens in the first place). You have to give the Networks some slack. They're trying really hard, REALLY HARD to get out of the rut that's known as "Reality TV". Some shows are already suffering an early demise (tonight "Celebrity Cookoff" got axed after only a few airings). As a sidenote, the funny thing is, these shows always come back for a second try on one of the few hundred cable and satellite channels. It only goes to show that all these channels are like a big landfill...all the garbage gets dumped there to decompose! Anyway, since the end of "Seinfeld" and perhaps "Frasier", there hasn't been any decent sitcoms around that would hold someone's attention for a decade or so. Don't worry, that's not going to happen anytime soon either. ABC has signed a deal with Mick Jagger to do a sitcom in which he plays pretty much himself...but the twist is, he's a rock star that becomes taken hostage by some groupies! Now ain't that funny? I predict they shoot the pilot episode and it never makes it past the testing audience. I'd rather see another full hour of 20/20! Bye, Bye Miss American Pie. Drove my Chevy to the levy but the levy was dry. Now that you'll have that song in your head all day, this has been a busy week for auctioneers. It seems as though people have been cleaning out their closets, looking behind their drywalls, and poking around the attic for ways to make a quick million bucks. "The day the music died" was when the plane carrying Buddy Holly, Richie Valance, and The Big Bopper crashed and killed all three musicians. Some policeman in the 1950's arrived on the scene and the first thing he did was step over all the bodies and take Buddy Holly's wrist watch. Now after all these years, he auctioned it off for several hundred thousand clams. The same thing can be said for some love letters that someone had tucked away that were written by Marilyn Monroe or rather, Norma Jean Baker. Alas, today another item was auctioned off for a quarter of a million dollars. It was a little book that belonged to a young John Lennon. The signifigance with this treasure is that it's said to have been the inspiration for The Beatles' "I am the walrus" koo koo kachoo. Items like these usually double in value after they change hands several times before landing at their final resting place. These people say that money isn't the issue. I say, if that's the case then why not give these things to a museum? Finishing things off this time around is more John Lennon. While surfing through cable earlier, I stumbled across an interview on MSNBC with two Englishman who have come up with a scheme to host a pay per view on Sunday where get this, they plan to talk to John Lennon. The psychic said he's already contacted Lennon a few times and he's doing quite well on the other side, though still a little peeved at the guy that gunned him down. The psychic fellow went on to say that the audience is going to be in for a surprise as Lennon will transmit new music and lyrics to the songs. "It will be phenomenal!" he said. Attorneys will be present on the show to immediately copyright all the material that is "wired" through. With the blessings of Yoko Ono, Paul and Ringo, the guy says that it's a pretty good bet that there will be a new CD! Only problem is, the three I've just mentioned think this idea is a bunch of malarkey. Both men agreed that Yoko, Paul, and Ringo probably won't be paying the $39.95 but, like a nice car accident "they'll have to take a peek". The host asked the men what will happen if John Lennon doesn't feel like talking on Sunday. "Then we'll be screwed" they said. Yup! Save yourself a scewjob and play some Lennon records instead. Remember Al Capone's vault? All Geraldo could find was a beer bottle from the 1970'! Decades after Capone was dead and buried! Happy Friday!

posted by Dave Sypniewski at Friday, April 21, 2006