AUTHOR: Dave Sypniewski DATE: Sunday, April 09, 2006 ----- BODY: It's been an exciting opening weekend for some really lousy movies. I wouldn't rent the DVD for some of these, let along pay th $12 or whatever it is to get in nowadays. For instance, they've been advertising the movie The Bencwarmers as being the funniest movie of the year so far. You'd think that with a big cast of Saturday Night Live's Alumni and the guest of appearamce of that creepy dude fromNapolean Dynamite. it may be good for a couple of laughs. I always recoil when I read the review in the paper and it says that the film was not screened for for critics. Such a statement suggests that the movie is a pile of crap and the movie studio is ashamed of the the final product. Sure enough, when the ratings made it into Saturday's paper, sure enough, the critic gave it one star and said that was really pushing it. It used to be that Lorne Michaels would take every popular skit on the show and write a screenplay. That doesn't even haappen anymore. Let's face it...Everyone on SNL puts in their five or six years and leaves, anxious to hit the big screen. These guys should stay where they're at and quit complaining! Take a look at Jimmy Fallon. He was in a hurry to go to Hollywood to be a big star. He made the clunker called, Taxi. So where is he now? Stopping in a few times a year at SNL as a walk on. If they had any brains, they'd bring him back. NBC'S Dateline creates phony news. Until today, I haven't heard anything about about the hot water that Dateline is in. For some reason or another, that show decided to conduct an experiment last week by sprinkling a large group of Muslim's into the crowd to study the reaction of the country bumpkins. They weren't sure if they were going to be taunted, scorned, or ignored. By the time NASCAR officials found out about this study in human interaction, they pulled the plug on the whole thing. According to NASCAR, nobody was aware that this was going on with both hidden cameras as well as cameras in plain view. The results were surprising. Everyone in close proximity to these guys managed to turn the other cheek and ignore the Muslims. NASCAR is trying real hard to block the airing of the story however, it's safe to say that NBC has more money than NASCAR. It's a good bet that you'll see the story on TV soon! The Dan Ryan Expressway project has begun and is in it's first week You wanna avoid all the headaches and avoid the news media telling you to take the bus or train? How about go to bed a little early tonight by an hour or so, and get up an hour earlier tomorrow morning? That is, get up without hitting the snooze button on your alarm five or six times. NO! The first time it buzzes, get your lazzy ass out of bed the first time the clock buzzes and hop in the car without a detour to McDonald's, Dunkin Donuts, or Burger King. Get up early and you're guaranteed to make it on the train...with a place to sit down too! I can't imagine hearing the same thing repeat like a broken record for the next two years. It's as simple as that! CBS, NBC, and ABC: You lose some, you win some! For months now, there's been nothing but rumors and speculation about the future of Katie Couric jumping ship to go someplace else. Earlier this week, Katie finally gave her emplyees the screw job they've been expecting all year. After announcing she was leaving while on Live TV, she shed a few tears and said a few words of thanks before announcing she's staying on for a little while longer to help with the transition. What a great thing to do Katie. If you did that to me at my station, you'd be packing your trinkets from your desk into a box a little earlier. You want to stick around? You're not doing us any favors. Either you stay, or you go! Now there's MeredithVieria from The View who didn't think twice about the offer to replace Couric's chair next to Matt Laurer and fat Al Roker. Now that she's going to be an honest to God Newswoman, who will take over for Who Wats to be a Millionaire? Who takes the spot left next to anorixic Star Jones? The rumor is, Patricia Heaton may be the front runner for the job. Fresh off of Raymond and her Jewel commercials, she may be a good fit until Star Jones' smart ass remarks get on her nerves! That IS possible. I really don't care if they hire CarrotTop to read the news on any of these shows...I don't watch any of the three anyway! That's all from this neck of the woods! -------- Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!: Squaling Pig WORLDWIDE: Weekend Edition

Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Squaling Pig WORLDWIDE: Weekend Edition

It's been an exciting opening weekend for some really lousy movies. I wouldn't rent the DVD for some of these, let along pay th $12 or whatever it is to get in nowadays. For instance, they've been advertising the movie The Bencwarmers as being the funniest movie of the year so far. You'd think that with a big cast of Saturday Night Live's Alumni and the guest of appearamce of that creepy dude fromNapolean Dynamite. it may be good for a couple of laughs. I always recoil when I read the review in the paper and it says that the film was not screened for for critics. Such a statement suggests that the movie is a pile of crap and the movie studio is ashamed of the the final product. Sure enough, when the ratings made it into Saturday's paper, sure enough, the critic gave it one star and said that was really pushing it. It used to be that Lorne Michaels would take every popular skit on the show and write a screenplay. That doesn't even haappen anymore. Let's face it...Everyone on SNL puts in their five or six years and leaves, anxious to hit the big screen. These guys should stay where they're at and quit complaining! Take a look at Jimmy Fallon. He was in a hurry to go to Hollywood to be a big star. He made the clunker called, Taxi. So where is he now? Stopping in a few times a year at SNL as a walk on. If they had any brains, they'd bring him back. NBC'S Dateline creates phony news. Until today, I haven't heard anything about about the hot water that Dateline is in. For some reason or another, that show decided to conduct an experiment last week by sprinkling a large group of Muslim's into the crowd to study the reaction of the country bumpkins. They weren't sure if they were going to be taunted, scorned, or ignored. By the time NASCAR officials found out about this study in human interaction, they pulled the plug on the whole thing. According to NASCAR, nobody was aware that this was going on with both hidden cameras as well as cameras in plain view. The results were surprising. Everyone in close proximity to these guys managed to turn the other cheek and ignore the Muslims. NASCAR is trying real hard to block the airing of the story however, it's safe to say that NBC has more money than NASCAR. It's a good bet that you'll see the story on TV soon! The Dan Ryan Expressway project has begun and is in it's first week You wanna avoid all the headaches and avoid the news media telling you to take the bus or train? How about go to bed a little early tonight by an hour or so, and get up an hour earlier tomorrow morning? That is, get up without hitting the snooze button on your alarm five or six times. NO! The first time it buzzes, get your lazzy ass out of bed the first time the clock buzzes and hop in the car without a detour to McDonald's, Dunkin Donuts, or Burger King. Get up early and you're guaranteed to make it on the train...with a place to sit down too! I can't imagine hearing the same thing repeat like a broken record for the next two years. It's as simple as that! CBS, NBC, and ABC: You lose some, you win some! For months now, there's been nothing but rumors and speculation about the future of Katie Couric jumping ship to go someplace else. Earlier this week, Katie finally gave her emplyees the screw job they've been expecting all year. After announcing she was leaving while on Live TV, she shed a few tears and said a few words of thanks before announcing she's staying on for a little while longer to help with the transition. What a great thing to do Katie. If you did that to me at my station, you'd be packing your trinkets from your desk into a box a little earlier. You want to stick around? You're not doing us any favors. Either you stay, or you go! Now there's MeredithVieria from The View who didn't think twice about the offer to replace Couric's chair next to Matt Laurer and fat Al Roker. Now that she's going to be an honest to God Newswoman, who will take over for Who Wats to be a Millionaire? Who takes the spot left next to anorixic Star Jones? The rumor is, Patricia Heaton may be the front runner for the job. Fresh off of Raymond and her Jewel commercials, she may be a good fit until Star Jones' smart ass remarks get on her nerves! That IS possible. I really don't care if they hire CarrotTop to read the news on any of these shows...I don't watch any of the three anyway! That's all from this neck of the woods!

posted by Dave Sypniewski at Sunday, April 09, 2006

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