AUTHOR: Dave Sypniewski DATE: Wednesday, April 05, 2006 ----- BODY: Boy, when it rains it friggin' pours! I've got a garbage truck full of trash that's been backed up for a week. Let's get this party started NOW! Have you seen this photo on the left included in one of your incoming emails? Yeah, umm this is a chain letter thingie going around that finally gives "proof" that God exists and is watching us right now! So, it should come as no surprise that this photo taken by NASA's Hubble Telescope is called, "The Eye of God". So this particular photo is making the rounds now as a chain letter. See? Look at the "eye". God is watching you and if you don't say a prayer and email this photo to ten people, well my friend, are you ever going to be in for a surprise! Don't bother questioning the logistics here...God forgives all of us however, when it comes to chain-letters, that's a whole different story. Don't make him mad by hitting the delete button by mistake! If you received the email containing the photo pictured above, you need not worry about being punished when you expire. Jeffrey Dahmer, Richard Speck, and John Gacy may be screaming in a sea of boiling blood, but you won't be seeing them on the basis of breaking a chain. YES, the photo is an authentic NASA photograph taken from the Hubble Telescope. Only problem is that it's not ONE photo, but THREE photos taken at different times of the day and superimposed into one picture. Someone working over at NASA smuggled some negatives out of the building and played around with "Photoshop" to give you what you see in the picture above. Anyway, God has a lot on his plate right now with all the world's happenings. I don't think there's any room for goofing around with photos like this, appearing on trees, or on grilled cheese. I'd go on a limb to suggest that 99% of you need not worry of taking that chain-letter and moving it to your recycling bin. Jim Henson may be dead, but his semen lives on to create more muppets! Next time PBS does one of those month long pledge drives looking for money (you know. The only time of the year that they put something halfway decent on?), PLEASE resist the urge to pick up the phone and your checkbook or credit card to make a donation. I'd kind of like to see Big Bird keel over, or Bert and Ernie suffering from AIDS. The truth is, all these silly puppets that the kiddies love are owned by Disney. Considering we have a baby that falls into the demographics of their latest business venture, you may say I'm heartless however, when I heard that we can now expect to see all kinds of merchandise for a new line of characters called, "Sesame Beginnings" I got sick. I've gotta tell you, I can guarantee that by month's end someone will have purchased one of these DVD's for our daughter which targets the 0-6 month old's. There's a whole world out there for her to discover...as far as I'm concerned, a good five or six years to enjoy "Sesame Street". Why start now? Now if they have a DVD that teaches how to use the potty, count, or say the alphabet, sign me up! In all seriousness, if our little Arianna learns to speak from a little canary named "Big Bird" instead of one of us, that DVD will make for a good pizza cutter. Take THAT Henson Productions! -------- Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!: God's chain letter (DON'T BREAK IT!) and Henson's last laugh from HELL!

Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

God's chain letter (DON'T BREAK IT!) and Henson's last laugh from HELL!

Boy, when it rains it friggin' pours! I've got a garbage truck full of trash that's been backed up for a week. Let's get this party started NOW! Have you seen this photo on the left included in one of your incoming emails? Yeah, umm this is a chain letter thingie going around that finally gives "proof" that God exists and is watching us right now! So, it should come as no surprise that this photo taken by NASA's Hubble Telescope is called, "The Eye of God". So this particular photo is making the rounds now as a chain letter. See? Look at the "eye". God is watching you and if you don't say a prayer and email this photo to ten people, well my friend, are you ever going to be in for a surprise! Don't bother questioning the logistics here...God forgives all of us however, when it comes to chain-letters, that's a whole different story. Don't make him mad by hitting the delete button by mistake! If you received the email containing the photo pictured above, you need not worry about being punished when you expire. Jeffrey Dahmer, Richard Speck, and John Gacy may be screaming in a sea of boiling blood, but you won't be seeing them on the basis of breaking a chain. YES, the photo is an authentic NASA photograph taken from the Hubble Telescope. Only problem is that it's not ONE photo, but THREE photos taken at different times of the day and superimposed into one picture. Someone working over at NASA smuggled some negatives out of the building and played around with "Photoshop" to give you what you see in the picture above. Anyway, God has a lot on his plate right now with all the world's happenings. I don't think there's any room for goofing around with photos like this, appearing on trees, or on grilled cheese. I'd go on a limb to suggest that 99% of you need not worry of taking that chain-letter and moving it to your recycling bin. Jim Henson may be dead, but his semen lives on to create more muppets! Next time PBS does one of those month long pledge drives looking for money (you know. The only time of the year that they put something halfway decent on?), PLEASE resist the urge to pick up the phone and your checkbook or credit card to make a donation. I'd kind of like to see Big Bird keel over, or Bert and Ernie suffering from AIDS. The truth is, all these silly puppets that the kiddies love are owned by Disney. Considering we have a baby that falls into the demographics of their latest business venture, you may say I'm heartless however, when I heard that we can now expect to see all kinds of merchandise for a new line of characters called, "Sesame Beginnings" I got sick. I've gotta tell you, I can guarantee that by month's end someone will have purchased one of these DVD's for our daughter which targets the 0-6 month old's. There's a whole world out there for her to discover...as far as I'm concerned, a good five or six years to enjoy "Sesame Street". Why start now? Now if they have a DVD that teaches how to use the potty, count, or say the alphabet, sign me up! In all seriousness, if our little Arianna learns to speak from a little canary named "Big Bird" instead of one of us, that DVD will make for a good pizza cutter. Take THAT Henson Productions!

posted by Dave Sypniewski at Wednesday, April 05, 2006

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