AUTHOR: Dave Sypniewski DATE: Friday, April 07, 2006 ----- BODY: It's not a very big news week, but in any case, it's now the weekend and time once again for "The Week in Review"...Before I get started, I'd just like to send kudos to the Pakistani's working the phones at Yahoo support. Because of their incompetence and not being able to understand english, my minor problem grew into one that took nearly two days to fix by myself! It's a scary thing when the people in Pakistan are clueless with connection problems however, are working hard on testing nuclear missiles. If one of those things launches and spins out of control before crashing, I hope it happens THERE! Keeping out the riff-raff...Those who know of Calumet City, IL from 25-30 years ago, knows that you could go for a walk at 10 at night, or if you lost your wallet in a store, you'd get it returned to you the next day with all your cash and credit cards still inside. The place rarely made the news however, nine times out of ten the news was something positive. 2006 is now the polar opposite of days gone by. There's not one week that goes by without someone getting shot, stabbed, or carjacked. The cops are also busy arresting people for dope dealing, dope using, DUI, and soliticing prostitution. It sure isn't Utopia! That's why Hammond, IN came up with the idea of constructing an 8" concrete barrier down the center of State Line Road. A few months ago, several public meetings were held between Indiana and Illinois before they would move ahead with any plans. The majority of the residents on both sides agreed the idea was silly as well as hazardous in the event that 911 is called. A heart attack victim riding in the ambulance to an Indiana hospital will be dead before he arrives there! Some say this is politics, others say it's to cut down on speeding, and still others are claiming it's because of Calumet City's 90% black population causing chaos in Indiana. Regardless, Indiana government didn't listen and have already started tearing things apart. I for one, believe in the latter excuse. I think it's a great idea. 8"? It should be 8' ! Let this be a wake-up call for Calumet City who worry way too much about being wrapped up in litigation more than they worry about the resident's safety. Hammond should also place land mines and large spotlights in a location where the unsuspecting escapee will have to play a game of chance when coming to Indiana. Instead of 50 states, we should have 50 countries just like Europe. You want to buy cigarettes or lottery tickets in Indiana? Then you'll have to wait in line for a half hour as border patrol examines you and your car. Now how does going to Indiana to play powerball sound to you?! Ritzy Crystal Lake, IL. is really going queer! What really perplexes me is the fact that gay folks bitch and moan that they're discriminated against on a daily basis over their lifestyle yet, the ones who claim to be superb athletes don't even bother to get into the Olympics...instead, they distance themselves from that event and come up with their own Olympics. Crystal Lake is more nervous than a hooker in church that all these people will be prancing around their quaint little town for a few days and lower their property values. God forbid someone in the near future books a room at one of the hotels in town! Imagine what goes on after the games! I'd like to see 20/20 go into one of the rooms afterwards with a blacklight to show all the stains and bacteria left behind. They have no business staying at a nice hotel doing God knows what! I say, the best idea is to let the residents focus on the revenue these games will generate. Rather than stay at the Comfort Inn or Motel 6, the residents should open their hearts and their homes to the athletes. Let them stay with you! At least when it's all said and done, you can burn all the bedding. Please queers, leave the hotels off-limits or if I'm forced to ever stay over in Crystal Lake, I'll still stay at one of the hotels, except it will be in the parking lot in my car! Case closed! Finally this week...I guess anger management and therapy didn't exactly pay off for Marshall Mathers. Mr. Eminem who's had a history of domestic problems, drugs, and violence seemed to have turned a new leaf within the last year. Heck, the majority of songs on his most recent album were inspired by his ex-wife and daughter. Eminem tried to melt his ex's heart with his catchy rhymes and lyrics and declared in his music that he's a man now. The ex really soaked up his sob story and three months ago the two reconciled and married again a second time. Before the ink on the marriage license was able to dry, Eminem was up to his old tricks and earlier this week, his wife became an "ex" a second time. He claimed that he was happy and retired from music when he remarried. Methinks, the retirement won't last due to his legal fees and so on. Besides, who would waste the opportunity to put all this hate to use for some new rap? This Eminem has got some nuts! Happy Friday folks! -------- Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!: "The Great Wall Of State Line Road", "Gay Naked Limbo", and "Won't Melt In Your Hands Or Heart"

Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!

Friday, April 07, 2006

"The Great Wall Of State Line Road", "Gay Naked Limbo", and "Won't Melt In Your Hands Or Heart"

It's not a very big news week, but in any case, it's now the weekend and time once again for "The Week in Review"...Before I get started, I'd just like to send kudos to the Pakistani's working the phones at Yahoo support. Because of their incompetence and not being able to understand english, my minor problem grew into one that took nearly two days to fix by myself! It's a scary thing when the people in Pakistan are clueless with connection problems however, are working hard on testing nuclear missiles. If one of those things launches and spins out of control before crashing, I hope it happens THERE! Keeping out the riff-raff...Those who know of Calumet City, IL from 25-30 years ago, knows that you could go for a walk at 10 at night, or if you lost your wallet in a store, you'd get it returned to you the next day with all your cash and credit cards still inside. The place rarely made the news however, nine times out of ten the news was something positive. 2006 is now the polar opposite of days gone by. There's not one week that goes by without someone getting shot, stabbed, or carjacked. The cops are also busy arresting people for dope dealing, dope using, DUI, and soliticing prostitution. It sure isn't Utopia! That's why Hammond, IN came up with the idea of constructing an 8" concrete barrier down the center of State Line Road. A few months ago, several public meetings were held between Indiana and Illinois before they would move ahead with any plans. The majority of the residents on both sides agreed the idea was silly as well as hazardous in the event that 911 is called. A heart attack victim riding in the ambulance to an Indiana hospital will be dead before he arrives there! Some say this is politics, others say it's to cut down on speeding, and still others are claiming it's because of Calumet City's 90% black population causing chaos in Indiana. Regardless, Indiana government didn't listen and have already started tearing things apart. I for one, believe in the latter excuse. I think it's a great idea. 8"? It should be 8' ! Let this be a wake-up call for Calumet City who worry way too much about being wrapped up in litigation more than they worry about the resident's safety. Hammond should also place land mines and large spotlights in a location where the unsuspecting escapee will have to play a game of chance when coming to Indiana. Instead of 50 states, we should have 50 countries just like Europe. You want to buy cigarettes or lottery tickets in Indiana? Then you'll have to wait in line for a half hour as border patrol examines you and your car. Now how does going to Indiana to play powerball sound to you?! Ritzy Crystal Lake, IL. is really going queer! What really perplexes me is the fact that gay folks bitch and moan that they're discriminated against on a daily basis over their lifestyle yet, the ones who claim to be superb athletes don't even bother to get into the Olympics...instead, they distance themselves from that event and come up with their own Olympics. Crystal Lake is more nervous than a hooker in church that all these people will be prancing around their quaint little town for a few days and lower their property values. God forbid someone in the near future books a room at one of the hotels in town! Imagine what goes on after the games! I'd like to see 20/20 go into one of the rooms afterwards with a blacklight to show all the stains and bacteria left behind. They have no business staying at a nice hotel doing God knows what! I say, the best idea is to let the residents focus on the revenue these games will generate. Rather than stay at the Comfort Inn or Motel 6, the residents should open their hearts and their homes to the athletes. Let them stay with you! At least when it's all said and done, you can burn all the bedding. Please queers, leave the hotels off-limits or if I'm forced to ever stay over in Crystal Lake, I'll still stay at one of the hotels, except it will be in the parking lot in my car! Case closed! Finally this week...I guess anger management and therapy didn't exactly pay off for Marshall Mathers. Mr. Eminem who's had a history of domestic problems, drugs, and violence seemed to have turned a new leaf within the last year. Heck, the majority of songs on his most recent album were inspired by his ex-wife and daughter. Eminem tried to melt his ex's heart with his catchy rhymes and lyrics and declared in his music that he's a man now. The ex really soaked up his sob story and three months ago the two reconciled and married again a second time. Before the ink on the marriage license was able to dry, Eminem was up to his old tricks and earlier this week, his wife became an "ex" a second time. He claimed that he was happy and retired from music when he remarried. Methinks, the retirement won't last due to his legal fees and so on. Besides, who would waste the opportunity to put all this hate to use for some new rap? This Eminem has got some nuts! Happy Friday folks!

posted by Dave Sypniewski at Friday, April 07, 2006

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