AUTHOR: Dave Sypniewski DATE: Saturday, April 30, 2005 ----- BODY: 32 year old Jennifer Wilbanks didn't have "cold feet." before getting married today, she was abducted by an alien ship, impregnated, and dumped on a desert highway! Posted by Hello In what was described as an odd twist to bizarre story, FOX News and MSNBC report tonight that Jennifer Wilbanks (A.K.A. "The runaway bride") lied about her lie. There was no kidnapping, and she didn't make up the story either. Instead, Miss Wilbanks was abducted in Deluth, Georgia by an alien spacecraft, and impregnated to have an alien baby (see photo above)! Monroe County Sherriff's Police spokesperson Tim Wigham confirmed the report via e-mail: " Wilbanks was picked up in Deluth and impregnated. It is my understanding that alien craft travelled at the speed of light and returned in New Mexico at EXACTLY the same moment she left. This is referred to as missing time theory. Miss Wilbanks was dumped on a desert highway where she gave birth to a a seemingly healthy little whatchamacallit. The little thingie seems to be content with a canister of Pringles sour cream and onion chips and Gatorade." Observers noticed a lot of activity in the New Mexico sky several nights ago. As soon as she made the collect call to home, within a matter of minutes, several black Lincoln Navigators came and whisked her away to an unknown location for observation. This was about 50 miles due East of Roswell, famous for it's top secret government compound. It was said that after observation, the creature will be returned to her in Georgia and she can proceed with the wedding. At this time, there's no word on role the little thing will play in the wedding, or if any of the visitors will return for the reception. All's well that ends well for the Georgia couple. They welcome the little son of a gun with open arms. Although the fancy dinner at the reception is shelved, there will be plenty of Pringles and Gatorade for all to enjoy. This X-Files case is closed! -------- Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!: Runaway bride's story had too many "holes," here's what really happened...

Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!

Saturday, April 30, 2005

Runaway bride's story had too many "holes," here's what really happened...

32 year old Jennifer Wilbanks didn't have "cold feet." before getting married today, she was abducted by an alien ship, impregnated, and dumped on a desert highway! Posted by Hello In what was described as an odd twist to bizarre story, FOX News and MSNBC report tonight that Jennifer Wilbanks (A.K.A. "The runaway bride") lied about her lie. There was no kidnapping, and she didn't make up the story either. Instead, Miss Wilbanks was abducted in Deluth, Georgia by an alien spacecraft, and impregnated to have an alien baby (see photo above)! Monroe County Sherriff's Police spokesperson Tim Wigham confirmed the report via e-mail: " Wilbanks was picked up in Deluth and impregnated. It is my understanding that alien craft travelled at the speed of light and returned in New Mexico at EXACTLY the same moment she left. This is referred to as missing time theory. Miss Wilbanks was dumped on a desert highway where she gave birth to a a seemingly healthy little whatchamacallit. The little thingie seems to be content with a canister of Pringles sour cream and onion chips and Gatorade." Observers noticed a lot of activity in the New Mexico sky several nights ago. As soon as she made the collect call to home, within a matter of minutes, several black Lincoln Navigators came and whisked her away to an unknown location for observation. This was about 50 miles due East of Roswell, famous for it's top secret government compound. It was said that after observation, the creature will be returned to her in Georgia and she can proceed with the wedding. At this time, there's no word on role the little thing will play in the wedding, or if any of the visitors will return for the reception. All's well that ends well for the Georgia couple. They welcome the little son of a gun with open arms. Although the fancy dinner at the reception is shelved, there will be plenty of Pringles and Gatorade for all to enjoy. This X-Files case is closed!

posted by Dave Sypniewski at Saturday, April 30, 2005

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