Johnny Depp is as weird and perfect for the remake
Gene Wilder as the kooky "Wonka" 
It wouldn't be an Easter without "Willy Wonka" and his little friend Charlie who found the famous "golden ticket" and won the trip to Wonka Candy Co. This movie always brought up a few rhetorical questions on my part. Most importantly, what in God's name does this movie have to do with Easter in the first place? I've seen this thing a zillion times and there's never any mention of Easter...not even once! I bought the VHS copy about 10 years ago. It was one of those marketing gimmicks where they claimed it would only be around for a "limited time," Boy, what a sham! It didn't go anywhere. What's more, this thing is on cable during Easter as much as as "It's a Wonderful Life" is at Christmas. The other thing that always bothered me was the fact that there was never any explanation as to why Charlie and his family, all Americans, were living in the poor house over in England. How did they get there? Why are they there anyway? This is where it gets tricky...Willy Wonka was a shady character, played by Gene Wilder, another shady character. He loved those kids, but once he got them inside his fenced in yard and in his house, he tricked them. Just like the devil himself, he tempted those kids with all kinds of goodies, and then when the kids would take the bait, Willy punished them and kept him in his house with all the little dwarfs. Do you see where I'm going with this one? Fast forward to 2005. Instead of chocolate waterfalls and lollipops growing on trees, Michael Jackson was using, well, a zoo, an amusement park and "Jesus Juice." Just like Wonka, Jackson tried to trick some of these kids by telling them if they went to the cops, he'd keep them prisoner. Willy Wonka had the wallpaper that you could lick, where the raspberries tasted like raspberries, and the schnozzberries tasted like schnozzberries. If they ever make such a thing, Michael Jackson would by a few dozen rolls I'm sure. The similarities are spooky. Keep that in mind when your kids are sitting in front of the TV watching the movie...you'll never look at it the same way again. I tried to contact Mr. Wilder for his thoughts however, I received an e-mail back telling me he's on a promotional tour for a book about his late wife, Gilda Radner.
THE INSIDER with Pat O'Brien
What to do when the big star of your Hollywood tabloid show is on the way into work one day, but decides to check into rehab instead? Why, you don't make any mention of it on The Insider. This is the show that fills a half hour everyday reporting on Hollywood eating disorders, divorces, scandals, and whatever else, and their own journalist isn't given even 30 seconds to give the viewer's at home the head's up? SHAME! Entertainment Tonight and Access Hollywood both did stories on Pat, but not his own show. I guess when you're working as a reporter in Hollywood, no story or scandal is off limits...That is, unless it's about yourself!
posted by Dave Sypniewski at
Thursday, March 24, 2005
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