"A bird. A plane. Gatorade with a kick"
Well, here we are peeps...a month away from the five year anniversary of 9/11. 19 people wanted to blow up planes in the air so it could rain down steel and jet fuel. Because this whole thing was a dangerously close call, I don't know how I'll ever make it out of town if I have to go. Here's a sampling of the bullcrap you'll have to go through before you take your seat on the plane. The following items will be taken out of your carry-on and thrown in the garbage (where a security guard will pull it back out once everyone boards the plane).
- Toothpaste-To make this thing blow up...well, you got me.
- Shampoo-Split ends? Bad hair day? A little peroxide in the bottle will really give you the frizzies.
- KY Jelly, Gatorade, Mouthwash. You bring KY Jelly on an airplane and you deserve whatever punishment you get.
- Underwear- You've probably heard of dropping a bomb in your pants. The airline industry wants you to know that they take anything with a "bomb" seriously.
- Water- No bottled water allowed on the plane. Even the detainees at Guantanamo Bay get water,,,and Froot Loops.
- You have to take your shoes off, your pants off and more. It's one step shy of getting on the plane naked! Happy trails peeps.
posted by Dave Sypniewski at
Friday, August 11, 2006
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