AUTHOR: Dave Sypniewski DATE: Tuesday, May 23, 2006 ----- BODY: You know your marriage is cursed if...the night before the wedding, one of your kids gets killed in an automobile accident. Duane Chapman the famous Hawaiin bounty hunter and star of A&E's "Dog" took his top-heavy girlfriend Beth Smith for a walk down the aisle the other day. Several hours earlier, Dog learned that his 23 year old daughter was killed in a car wreck. Upon hearing the news, Dog wept and met with a priest for a morning filled with prayer. Dog couldn't have been too broken up over the loss because as the saying goes, he told the priest that the show must go on. It seems mighty suspicious to me after reading that his daughter was estranged and not invited to the wedding. Anyway, Dog probably just shrugged it off considering he's the proud poppa of ten more children. They said they were considering postponing the honeymoon but again, decided it was more important to sip mai-tais on the beach in Fiji. I think that his daughter ran into a tree on purpose. How would you like that blonde bimbo as a stepmother? Dog is a heartless S.O.B. who will kick you in the groin and moments later tells you God loves you. After all the spreading around of the "Good Book", he's shown what he's all about. Not making peace with his daughter, and not sticking around for the funeral. Ever since Keith Richards fell out of that palm tree, Fiji has quickly become a hot tourist destination. One thing they won't have to worry about is taking a boat trip and having the boat capsize. Beth has two big flotation devices which by the way, nearly popped out of her rather skimpy wedding gown. Now here's something they won't show on A&E! Ahh, 1977. A much simpler time. Steve Martin was still doing standup on Saturday Night Live parading around stage with his white suit, the fake arrow through through his head, and his famous song parody "King Tut". The song gave a lot of publicity to the "Boy King" as the exhibit made it's way across the country. Now in 2006, King Tut is back again. If I was around back then, no way would I take orders from an 11 year old kid. He must have been special however, he's one of only a few that kicked the bucket and got dipped in gold! -------- Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!: "Getting the Dog's bone" AND "1977 all over again!"

Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

"Getting the Dog's bone" AND "1977 all over again!"

You know your marriage is cursed if...the night before the wedding, one of your kids gets killed in an automobile accident. Duane Chapman the famous Hawaiin bounty hunter and star of A&E's "Dog" took his top-heavy girlfriend Beth Smith for a walk down the aisle the other day. Several hours earlier, Dog learned that his 23 year old daughter was killed in a car wreck. Upon hearing the news, Dog wept and met with a priest for a morning filled with prayer. Dog couldn't have been too broken up over the loss because as the saying goes, he told the priest that the show must go on. It seems mighty suspicious to me after reading that his daughter was estranged and not invited to the wedding. Anyway, Dog probably just shrugged it off considering he's the proud poppa of ten more children. They said they were considering postponing the honeymoon but again, decided it was more important to sip mai-tais on the beach in Fiji. I think that his daughter ran into a tree on purpose. How would you like that blonde bimbo as a stepmother? Dog is a heartless S.O.B. who will kick you in the groin and moments later tells you God loves you. After all the spreading around of the "Good Book", he's shown what he's all about. Not making peace with his daughter, and not sticking around for the funeral. Ever since Keith Richards fell out of that palm tree, Fiji has quickly become a hot tourist destination. One thing they won't have to worry about is taking a boat trip and having the boat capsize. Beth has two big flotation devices which by the way, nearly popped out of her rather skimpy wedding gown. Now here's something they won't show on A&E! Ahh, 1977. A much simpler time. Steve Martin was still doing standup on Saturday Night Live parading around stage with his white suit, the fake arrow through through his head, and his famous song parody "King Tut". The song gave a lot of publicity to the "Boy King" as the exhibit made it's way across the country. Now in 2006, King Tut is back again. If I was around back then, no way would I take orders from an 11 year old kid. He must have been special however, he's one of only a few that kicked the bucket and got dipped in gold!

posted by Dave Sypniewski at Tuesday, May 23, 2006

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