AUTHOR: Dave Sypniewski DATE: Saturday, May 13, 2006 ----- BODY: Time once again to turn back the clock and check in on some things in the news that were overlooked, but not forgotten. I call it, "The Week in Review". Let's get started, shall we? We Shall! A sure sign that the Earth is going topsy turvy due to global warming was the discovery this week of a hybrid bear. A grizzly bear and polar bear hooked up somewhere and as a result, the offspring can survive in the woods as well as snow and ice. All along they've been telling us that the glaciers in the Arctic are shrinking, and ice is melting at an alarming 20 miles inward a year! At that rate, in 100 years or so, all the ice will be gone and the Anarctica may be a hot tourist spot where it's always 75 and sunny. Hey, too late to close the barn door now...the horse already ran away! Bad news if you have $130,000 burning a hole in your pocket and were counting on treating yourself to an original Hummer 1. The original giant gas guzzling all terrain vehicle developed for the military and later mass produced for the general consumer is shutting down operations for it's GM line. Seems as though someone realized that the price is a bit too steep unless you're a sports superstar, moviestar, or rapper. Yeah, I also agree that when it comes to taking a road trip, the Hummer is no Cadillac for comfort. Maybe it's because getting a mile to a gallon isn't a big selling point either. Until they can discover a way to make big trucks like these use plain water out of the garden hose as fuel, GM is under contract to continue things as usual for the military. If you want one, you have one month to get to the dealer and place your order. After that, if you must have the top of the line Hummer, you'll find plenty of them in Iraq waiting to be driven off the lot of course, enlisting in the Army is a requirement before you get the keys and the lucky rabbits foot keychain. By the way, the Hummer 2 and Hummer 3 will continue to roll off the assembly line in Mishiwaka, Indiana. Hard to believe it took those nitwits two years to finally realize we have an oil problem and that as gasoline approaches $4 a gallon in certain areas, people are shopping for Honda Civics and Volkswagon Beetles! A good grilling and lesson in stupidity courtesy of "Uncle Geraldo". If the sandman hasn't made it to my house by 11:30 pm on a weeknight, I've been tuning in to Geraldo at Large on FOX. Just like a bad penny, Geraldo keeps bouncing back for another go at it. This show however, is more entertaining to me than his other incarnations of years past. A cross between Inside Edition and The O'Reilly Factor, he manages to skewer, scold, and point an accusing finger at people in a magazine style format. This week he joined the guy who had planned on a skydive off the Empire State Building before the cops caught up with the guy at the top, slapped the cuffs on him, and put an end to the stunt. Geraldo took this guy behind the woodshed to learn about what makes a person stupid. "Why in the hell would you want to do this to the men in uniform a few years after 9/11?" he scolds. "Show me one cop or firefighter that wants to get called up to the rooftop of a landmark without having flashbacks of that horriffic day only to find some jerk that is all set to pull a silly publicity stunt?" He goes on, "You should thank your lucky stars that they didn't keep you in jail for the mayhem you caused on the top and for the people inside and down on the ground around the building. It was a sick, SICK idea and you should be ashamed of yourself. Rather than brag about it, you should be apologizing to the people thinking this was an act of terrorism!" After responding with a few words, a disgusted Geraldo abruptly cut the guy off and ended the segment. Notice Geraldo's disgust at the guy seeking publicity meanwhile, he was a "must have" to appear on Geraldo's show. Maybe Geraldo needs the Webster's definition of "stupidity" for himself?! Finally, a deep, deep money pit ends phase 1. Chicago's legendary "Deep Tunnel" project which cuts off a few footsteps from our front door has wrapped up twenty years of digging out the important part of the job. Early photographs were taken using flashpowder photography with tripod box cameras and the famous Kodak Disk camera. It has ended with photos being snapped by digital cameras for newspaper archives. When the work began, Loverboy and R.E.O. Speedwagon were topping the charts on radio. Jolt Cola and Bartyle and James were all the rage. Parachute pants, neon sweatshirts and hightops were hip. A gallon of Standard Oil/Amoco gas was just over a buck and the Chevy Chevette and Ford Escort were the "muscle cars" of that era and a White Castle "slider" was only a dime. That was then. For the people who haven't seen sunlight for a few decades, they've stepped foot into an undiscovered 21st century Earth. After a little adjustment to the new surroundings, it will be back in the tunnel for another decade or two of "Phase II". When finished, your Grandchildren's Grandchildren won't have to worry about water in the basement after a big rainstorm! THAT'S the way I see it this week. Have a good Mother's Day you Mother******s out there! -------- Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!: "Polar scare, Humm dumb, don't be stoopid, and milking the job!"

Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!

Saturday, May 13, 2006

"Polar scare, Humm dumb, don't be stoopid, and milking the job!"

Time once again to turn back the clock and check in on some things in the news that were overlooked, but not forgotten. I call it, "The Week in Review". Let's get started, shall we? We Shall! A sure sign that the Earth is going topsy turvy due to global warming was the discovery this week of a hybrid bear. A grizzly bear and polar bear hooked up somewhere and as a result, the offspring can survive in the woods as well as snow and ice. All along they've been telling us that the glaciers in the Arctic are shrinking, and ice is melting at an alarming 20 miles inward a year! At that rate, in 100 years or so, all the ice will be gone and the Anarctica may be a hot tourist spot where it's always 75 and sunny. Hey, too late to close the barn door now...the horse already ran away! Bad news if you have $130,000 burning a hole in your pocket and were counting on treating yourself to an original Hummer 1. The original giant gas guzzling all terrain vehicle developed for the military and later mass produced for the general consumer is shutting down operations for it's GM line. Seems as though someone realized that the price is a bit too steep unless you're a sports superstar, moviestar, or rapper. Yeah, I also agree that when it comes to taking a road trip, the Hummer is no Cadillac for comfort. Maybe it's because getting a mile to a gallon isn't a big selling point either. Until they can discover a way to make big trucks like these use plain water out of the garden hose as fuel, GM is under contract to continue things as usual for the military. If you want one, you have one month to get to the dealer and place your order. After that, if you must have the top of the line Hummer, you'll find plenty of them in Iraq waiting to be driven off the lot of course, enlisting in the Army is a requirement before you get the keys and the lucky rabbits foot keychain. By the way, the Hummer 2 and Hummer 3 will continue to roll off the assembly line in Mishiwaka, Indiana. Hard to believe it took those nitwits two years to finally realize we have an oil problem and that as gasoline approaches $4 a gallon in certain areas, people are shopping for Honda Civics and Volkswagon Beetles! A good grilling and lesson in stupidity courtesy of "Uncle Geraldo". If the sandman hasn't made it to my house by 11:30 pm on a weeknight, I've been tuning in to Geraldo at Large on FOX. Just like a bad penny, Geraldo keeps bouncing back for another go at it. This show however, is more entertaining to me than his other incarnations of years past. A cross between Inside Edition and The O'Reilly Factor, he manages to skewer, scold, and point an accusing finger at people in a magazine style format. This week he joined the guy who had planned on a skydive off the Empire State Building before the cops caught up with the guy at the top, slapped the cuffs on him, and put an end to the stunt. Geraldo took this guy behind the woodshed to learn about what makes a person stupid. "Why in the hell would you want to do this to the men in uniform a few years after 9/11?" he scolds. "Show me one cop or firefighter that wants to get called up to the rooftop of a landmark without having flashbacks of that horriffic day only to find some jerk that is all set to pull a silly publicity stunt?" He goes on, "You should thank your lucky stars that they didn't keep you in jail for the mayhem you caused on the top and for the people inside and down on the ground around the building. It was a sick, SICK idea and you should be ashamed of yourself. Rather than brag about it, you should be apologizing to the people thinking this was an act of terrorism!" After responding with a few words, a disgusted Geraldo abruptly cut the guy off and ended the segment. Notice Geraldo's disgust at the guy seeking publicity meanwhile, he was a "must have" to appear on Geraldo's show. Maybe Geraldo needs the Webster's definition of "stupidity" for himself?! Finally, a deep, deep money pit ends phase 1. Chicago's legendary "Deep Tunnel" project which cuts off a few footsteps from our front door has wrapped up twenty years of digging out the important part of the job. Early photographs were taken using flashpowder photography with tripod box cameras and the famous Kodak Disk camera. It has ended with photos being snapped by digital cameras for newspaper archives. When the work began, Loverboy and R.E.O. Speedwagon were topping the charts on radio. Jolt Cola and Bartyle and James were all the rage. Parachute pants, neon sweatshirts and hightops were hip. A gallon of Standard Oil/Amoco gas was just over a buck and the Chevy Chevette and Ford Escort were the "muscle cars" of that era and a White Castle "slider" was only a dime. That was then. For the people who haven't seen sunlight for a few decades, they've stepped foot into an undiscovered 21st century Earth. After a little adjustment to the new surroundings, it will be back in the tunnel for another decade or two of "Phase II". When finished, your Grandchildren's Grandchildren won't have to worry about water in the basement after a big rainstorm! THAT'S the way I see it this week. Have a good Mother's Day you Mother******s out there!

posted by Dave Sypniewski at Saturday, May 13, 2006

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home