AUTHOR: Dave Sypniewski DATE: Friday, March 03, 2006 ----- BODY: Call it "The Week in Review" Part II...Homer Simpson isn't just a cartoon character, he's a real live person and lives in Braidwood, IL! The growing community about 50 miles SW of Chicago off Interstate 55 has been home to the area's power supply by using nuclear reactors operated by ComEd. Twice this past week, Braidwood has made the news by having a couple "slip-ups". Several days ago, while switching some plutonium rods in the reactors core, somehow someone "misplaced" a few of them. They didn't know if they just got lost, stolen, or smuggled out by a disgruntled employee. On the scale of 1-5 on what constitutes an emergency, it was a 3. They later found them and all was well...until the other day when the EPA showed up to conduct some tests. What they found is that tap water from some nearby homes had high levels of radioactivity. While they suggested residents buy bottled water, ComEd assured the folks that the water is safe. Well, if you have a few hundred thousand to spend on a new home, would you want to see those reactors outside your back window? When the water from the faucet runs bright green and the fish in the pond walk up to your house and ring the doorbell, it's time to pack it up. Stacy gets chokeslammed! Stacy Keibler's 15 minutes are just about up. First, World Wrestling Entertainment allowed her to take a leave for her stint on Dancing with the Stars where everyone thought for sure she was a "shoe in" to win. Since she got bumped, she's been going on the late night talk shows discussing DWTS and Rasslin'. She's not holding back on any of the behind the scenes happenings in the WWE. Now, the former Baltimore Ravens cheerleader has returned to the WWE only to find that they don't want her back. Unfortunately, when the performers are fired or quit, there is a 90 day no compete clause which prohibits them from working for three months. No problem for her. She says she's got plenty of things in the works for her future...probably swinging around a pole in a topless bar! No cars in Iraq, no cars in Chicago??? Yesterday's news reported that Iraq is prohibiting people from driving cars due to a rise in suicide car bombing. Well, that's gonna make it a safe place! Also on the news, there's been a lot of talk about the Dan Ryan Expressway construction project. A spokesman for the Illinois Department Of Transportation told the media that for the next year and a half, only two lanes in each direction will be open. It's going to be a mess, he says. What they propose, those silly people, is that cars stay off the expressway. Signs are being posted on the road encouraging motorists to avoid driving to work and keep the expressway open to truck traffic only. Sure, that'll work. It's a good chance for those folks in the suburbs to see what a finely tuned machine public transportation is! If you don't mind riding "The L" full of a potpurri of aromas including booze, body odor, urine, and dirty diapers, this may be the way to go. So, stay off the expressway. Sell your cars, and if nothing else, quit your job in Chicago! Finally, one last tidbit on Sunday's Oscars... No way can I spend the hours of 6:30 to 11:00 watching one channel. Impossible! Besides, as I mentioned in the past, the last movie I saw was The Matrix:Reloaded. Due to insomnia last night, I flipped on ABC News Overnight where of course, they were all abuzz about the awards at L.A.'s Kodak Theater. I realized at the end of the story why it's an arm and a leg to get into a movie nowadays. Everyone that gets nominated...win or lose, gets a grab bag. I don't know if they're just happy that the losers showed up because they're good sports or what?! The gift bag is worth about $5000 and includes expensive jewelry, items from Victoria's Secret, weekends at a spa, and a weeklong Cruise through Europe. Who pays for this stuff? The moviegoer. If someone makes several million bucks to do a silly movie, can they not afford to go shopping at Victoria's Secret themselves? That really tops the cake! That's why I am boycotting Sunday's broadcast! THAT'S that! -------- Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!: Homer Simpson, Stacy Keibler, banning cars and a special "Kodak moment"!

Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!

Friday, March 03, 2006

Homer Simpson, Stacy Keibler, banning cars and a special "Kodak moment"!

Call it "The Week in Review" Part II...Homer Simpson isn't just a cartoon character, he's a real live person and lives in Braidwood, IL! The growing community about 50 miles SW of Chicago off Interstate 55 has been home to the area's power supply by using nuclear reactors operated by ComEd. Twice this past week, Braidwood has made the news by having a couple "slip-ups". Several days ago, while switching some plutonium rods in the reactors core, somehow someone "misplaced" a few of them. They didn't know if they just got lost, stolen, or smuggled out by a disgruntled employee. On the scale of 1-5 on what constitutes an emergency, it was a 3. They later found them and all was well...until the other day when the EPA showed up to conduct some tests. What they found is that tap water from some nearby homes had high levels of radioactivity. While they suggested residents buy bottled water, ComEd assured the folks that the water is safe. Well, if you have a few hundred thousand to spend on a new home, would you want to see those reactors outside your back window? When the water from the faucet runs bright green and the fish in the pond walk up to your house and ring the doorbell, it's time to pack it up. Stacy gets chokeslammed! Stacy Keibler's 15 minutes are just about up. First, World Wrestling Entertainment allowed her to take a leave for her stint on Dancing with the Stars where everyone thought for sure she was a "shoe in" to win. Since she got bumped, she's been going on the late night talk shows discussing DWTS and Rasslin'. She's not holding back on any of the behind the scenes happenings in the WWE. Now, the former Baltimore Ravens cheerleader has returned to the WWE only to find that they don't want her back. Unfortunately, when the performers are fired or quit, there is a 90 day no compete clause which prohibits them from working for three months. No problem for her. She says she's got plenty of things in the works for her future...probably swinging around a pole in a topless bar! No cars in Iraq, no cars in Chicago??? Yesterday's news reported that Iraq is prohibiting people from driving cars due to a rise in suicide car bombing. Well, that's gonna make it a safe place! Also on the news, there's been a lot of talk about the Dan Ryan Expressway construction project. A spokesman for the Illinois Department Of Transportation told the media that for the next year and a half, only two lanes in each direction will be open. It's going to be a mess, he says. What they propose, those silly people, is that cars stay off the expressway. Signs are being posted on the road encouraging motorists to avoid driving to work and keep the expressway open to truck traffic only. Sure, that'll work. It's a good chance for those folks in the suburbs to see what a finely tuned machine public transportation is! If you don't mind riding "The L" full of a potpurri of aromas including booze, body odor, urine, and dirty diapers, this may be the way to go. So, stay off the expressway. Sell your cars, and if nothing else, quit your job in Chicago! Finally, one last tidbit on Sunday's Oscars... No way can I spend the hours of 6:30 to 11:00 watching one channel. Impossible! Besides, as I mentioned in the past, the last movie I saw was The Matrix:Reloaded. Due to insomnia last night, I flipped on ABC News Overnight where of course, they were all abuzz about the awards at L.A.'s Kodak Theater. I realized at the end of the story why it's an arm and a leg to get into a movie nowadays. Everyone that gets nominated...win or lose, gets a grab bag. I don't know if they're just happy that the losers showed up because they're good sports or what?! The gift bag is worth about $5000 and includes expensive jewelry, items from Victoria's Secret, weekends at a spa, and a weeklong Cruise through Europe. Who pays for this stuff? The moviegoer. If someone makes several million bucks to do a silly movie, can they not afford to go shopping at Victoria's Secret themselves? That really tops the cake! That's why I am boycotting Sunday's broadcast! THAT'S that!

posted by Dave Sypniewski at Friday, March 03, 2006

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home