AUTHOR: Dave Sypniewski DATE: Thursday, March 02, 2006 ----- BODY: Time once again for "The Week in Review" ...The special Thursday edition! The Dave Chapelle watch! Well, Comedy Central's former funnyman is back in the news this week. His show as you may recall, has been on what Network folks call a "hiatus" for a year while the comedian skipped town to "find himself" Oh brother! So Comedy Central gave him an inch, and Chapelle took a mile. They were ready to have him come back in a few months and forget about what happened. So much for water under the bridge, because his comments from the other day have more than likely burned that bridge. He told HBO Networks that he'll come back on his own terms. In other words, if Comedy Central goes ahead with airing the four episodes of outtakes, he's not coming back. Meanwhile Dave Chapelle's Block Party is due out soon. I'm really getting tired of the guy crying all the time...now Chris Rock has a good show! Jessica Alba? Who's she? Maybe I'm not keeping up with the Jonses when I say that until this week, I didn't know who she was other than by her name. I didn't recall her being in any movies or on television. Doing my homework, I discovered she was on the WB's Dark Angel and did make some movies. With the exception of Sin City, most of her films were clunkers. Now, Playboy magazine has put her on the cover of their March issue. The photo on the upper left is the photo that was used...no harm, no foul. WRONG! She's suing Hef for invasion of privacy and not making a dime off the photo. I say, look honey, you have your bikini on. At this stage of your career, if I were you I'd welcome Playboy with open arms! Freedom of what? Freedom fries? While watching the 10:00 news the other night, I wasn't the least bit surprised to learn that adults can identify The Simpsons characters and don't know anything about the 1st Amendment. The sad thing is, the majority of those people polled had confused the 1st Amendment with the Miranda Rights. My conclusion: Most adults spend their weekends watching the fine programming on the Fox Network. Cops and America's Most Wanted on Saturdays, and The Simpsons on Sunday. Then they complain about their kids and that Rock and Roll music and MTV! Happy 98th Birthday Theodore Geisel! We know him better by his alias, Dr. Seuss. Though never a "Doctor" (He gave himself that title), he wrote a lot of silly childrens books that made no sense whatsoever! Perhaps since the majority of his books were penned in the late 1960's, an acid trip would help clear a few things up! Green Eggs and Ham? What's that all about? If I would eat that, I'd end up in the Emergency Room. The only good thing for Geisel's sake, is he died in 1991...way before Mike Meyers butchered The Cat in the Hat movie. In closing, I give my own tribute to Dr. Geisel...
Dead I am. Dead I am.
I will not write a book again.
I will not write about a schplave,
or with a shnork while in my grave.
Sure this is a little crude,
But I don't care 'cos I'm worm food.
-------- Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!: Chapelle, Alba, The Simpsons and Green Eggs and Ham!

Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Chapelle, Alba, The Simpsons and Green Eggs and Ham!

Time once again for "The Week in Review" ...The special Thursday edition! The Dave Chapelle watch! Well, Comedy Central's former funnyman is back in the news this week. His show as you may recall, has been on what Network folks call a "hiatus" for a year while the comedian skipped town to "find himself" Oh brother! So Comedy Central gave him an inch, and Chapelle took a mile. They were ready to have him come back in a few months and forget about what happened. So much for water under the bridge, because his comments from the other day have more than likely burned that bridge. He told HBO Networks that he'll come back on his own terms. In other words, if Comedy Central goes ahead with airing the four episodes of outtakes, he's not coming back. Meanwhile Dave Chapelle's Block Party is due out soon. I'm really getting tired of the guy crying all the time...now Chris Rock has a good show! Jessica Alba? Who's she? Maybe I'm not keeping up with the Jonses when I say that until this week, I didn't know who she was other than by her name. I didn't recall her being in any movies or on television. Doing my homework, I discovered she was on the WB's Dark Angel and did make some movies. With the exception of Sin City, most of her films were clunkers. Now, Playboy magazine has put her on the cover of their March issue. The photo on the upper left is the photo that was used...no harm, no foul. WRONG! She's suing Hef for invasion of privacy and not making a dime off the photo. I say, look honey, you have your bikini on. At this stage of your career, if I were you I'd welcome Playboy with open arms! Freedom of what? Freedom fries? While watching the 10:00 news the other night, I wasn't the least bit surprised to learn that adults can identify The Simpsons characters and don't know anything about the 1st Amendment. The sad thing is, the majority of those people polled had confused the 1st Amendment with the Miranda Rights. My conclusion: Most adults spend their weekends watching the fine programming on the Fox Network. Cops and America's Most Wanted on Saturdays, and The Simpsons on Sunday. Then they complain about their kids and that Rock and Roll music and MTV! Happy 98th Birthday Theodore Geisel! We know him better by his alias, Dr. Seuss. Though never a "Doctor" (He gave himself that title), he wrote a lot of silly childrens books that made no sense whatsoever! Perhaps since the majority of his books were penned in the late 1960's, an acid trip would help clear a few things up! Green Eggs and Ham? What's that all about? If I would eat that, I'd end up in the Emergency Room. The only good thing for Geisel's sake, is he died in 1991...way before Mike Meyers butchered The Cat in the Hat movie. In closing, I give my own tribute to Dr. Geisel...

Dead I am. Dead I am.
I will not write a book again.
I will not write about a schplave,
or with a shnork while in my grave.
Sure this is a little crude,
But I don't care 'cos I'm worm food.

posted by Dave Sypniewski at Thursday, March 02, 2006

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