AUTHOR: Dave Sypniewski DATE: Tuesday, February 21, 2006 ----- BODY: Just think: While you're looking under your seat cushions for nickels and dimes to pay for your next tank of gas, or putting a for sale sign in the window of your SUV in order to buy some Honda Civic hybrid, these silly NASCAR drivers are going around in loops every week for four hours like there's no tomorrow! Sure, it's not the same gas that you buy at the BP around the corner however, it still is a biproduct of petroleum...oil. I put NASCAR into the same category as the "West Nile Virus" or "The Bird Flu" because it's beginnings are traced to the south. Just like an epidemic, the sickness is spreading farther and farther north. The fans aren't the only ones that need to see a shrink, the drivers do too! There's only been a handful of people that could get away with wearing sunglasses 24/7: P. Diddy and Howard Stern. Or the people with legitimate reasons like Stevie Wonder and the late Ray Charles. Starting with Richard Petty all the way up to this year's Daytona 500 winner, Jimmie Johnson, NASCAR racers have developed an awfully big ego and consider themselves in the same league as a Jack Nicholson in Hollywood. Hiding behind the shades all the time, only shows me that these guys are scared to show their eyes. Perhaps if they say, "the eyes are the windows to the soul", pulling down or putting on the shades makes it impossible to see inside?! Anything sells on eBay...NASCAR proves that theory all too well! When the average Joe Schmo totals his car, it gets picked up by a flatbed and driven straight to the junk yard. When a driver like Jimmie Johnson totals his car, his buddies that work for him take the car apart piece by piece, have Johnson autograph the part, and put the item on eBay where morons will bid on anything from the hood to the doors. Yeah, for $500 you can have Jimmie Johnson's hood shipped to you to prop up against the living room wall. Who actually has something like this on display so it's the first thing you see when you walk into the front door? If I was the UPS guy that broke my back dragging this big parcel up your stairs and found out what was inside, I'd kick you in the crotch. That autographed hood would have a dent in it about the size of your skull! Memories are NOT made of this! This year's Daytona 500 was "special" to all involved in NASCAR. It was the fifth Anniversary of Dale Earnhardt's death while racing. Why can't people just let go? I haven't seen so many tears since The Pope passed away last year. What a shame! Look at it this way: The man died doing what he enjoyed doing. Good ol' #3 went out in a blaze of glory. Contrary to popular belief, his being killed had nothing to do with the restraining device not working properly...it was actually because the sunglasses he had on were the cheap one's from Walgreens rather than The Sunglasses Hut. The lenses kept fogging up thus, making it impossible for him to see! As ZZ Top sang years ago, the drivers "shouldn't depend on those cheap sunglasses". Kind of spooky, isn't it? THAT'S the way I see things today...VROOM! VROOM! SCREECH! -------- Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!: Let's put the brakes on NASCAR this year!

Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Let's put the brakes on NASCAR this year!

Just think: While you're looking under your seat cushions for nickels and dimes to pay for your next tank of gas, or putting a for sale sign in the window of your SUV in order to buy some Honda Civic hybrid, these silly NASCAR drivers are going around in loops every week for four hours like there's no tomorrow! Sure, it's not the same gas that you buy at the BP around the corner however, it still is a biproduct of petroleum...oil. I put NASCAR into the same category as the "West Nile Virus" or "The Bird Flu" because it's beginnings are traced to the south. Just like an epidemic, the sickness is spreading farther and farther north. The fans aren't the only ones that need to see a shrink, the drivers do too! There's only been a handful of people that could get away with wearing sunglasses 24/7: P. Diddy and Howard Stern. Or the people with legitimate reasons like Stevie Wonder and the late Ray Charles. Starting with Richard Petty all the way up to this year's Daytona 500 winner, Jimmie Johnson, NASCAR racers have developed an awfully big ego and consider themselves in the same league as a Jack Nicholson in Hollywood. Hiding behind the shades all the time, only shows me that these guys are scared to show their eyes. Perhaps if they say, "the eyes are the windows to the soul", pulling down or putting on the shades makes it impossible to see inside?! Anything sells on eBay...NASCAR proves that theory all too well! When the average Joe Schmo totals his car, it gets picked up by a flatbed and driven straight to the junk yard. When a driver like Jimmie Johnson totals his car, his buddies that work for him take the car apart piece by piece, have Johnson autograph the part, and put the item on eBay where morons will bid on anything from the hood to the doors. Yeah, for $500 you can have Jimmie Johnson's hood shipped to you to prop up against the living room wall. Who actually has something like this on display so it's the first thing you see when you walk into the front door? If I was the UPS guy that broke my back dragging this big parcel up your stairs and found out what was inside, I'd kick you in the crotch. That autographed hood would have a dent in it about the size of your skull! Memories are NOT made of this! This year's Daytona 500 was "special" to all involved in NASCAR. It was the fifth Anniversary of Dale Earnhardt's death while racing. Why can't people just let go? I haven't seen so many tears since The Pope passed away last year. What a shame! Look at it this way: The man died doing what he enjoyed doing. Good ol' #3 went out in a blaze of glory. Contrary to popular belief, his being killed had nothing to do with the restraining device not working properly...it was actually because the sunglasses he had on were the cheap one's from Walgreens rather than The Sunglasses Hut. The lenses kept fogging up thus, making it impossible for him to see! As ZZ Top sang years ago, the drivers "shouldn't depend on those cheap sunglasses". Kind of spooky, isn't it? THAT'S the way I see things today...VROOM! VROOM! SCREECH!

posted by Dave Sypniewski at Tuesday, February 21, 2006

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