AUTHOR: Dave Sypniewski DATE: Thursday, March 02, 2006 ----- BODY: I don't know about you, but I for one am sick of all the talk about Sunday's Oscars! Matter of fact, I think the more appropriate statuette for that evening would be the green muppet who lives in a garbage can...Oscar the Grouch. As far as I'm concerned, all the movies being nominated this year are trash. Take for instance, Brokeback Mountain. I'm sure it's going to clean up most of the awards that evening. My how times have changed! As recently as ten years ago, Hollywood wouldn't have touched a movie about gay cowboys with a ten foot pole! Unless of course, it was shot on VHS in a California basement! Melts in your mouth and your hands! The Mars Candy Company is getting in on the action this year by offering a bingo board game to download off their website for free. It has everything to do with the night of the awards. Some of the squares include who will be the first to swear, who will lose part of their dress, and who will ramble on and on until the music cuts them off. Maybe the M&M's should get an award...after 50 years of plain and peanuts, there's all kinds of varieties available today. Small ones, big ones, peanut butter, pecan, and candy bars with M&M's inside. Let us not forget about all the colored ones such as for Valentine's and Christmas. Anyway, for someone to actually have a party centered around M&M bingo on Sunday night, you must really be bored! Who picks the nominees? Once again, Martin Lawrence gets dissed for his brilliant work in Big Momma's House 2! The naked truth behind the naked statue...Did you know that the gold statue is made right here in Chicago? Here's another factoid: There are only a handful of awards at the actual show. When the winner gets done making his acceptance speech and exits the stage, he hands the award off to a security guard who then passes it off to the next winner. The "real" Oscar is shipped out to those who won via FedEx! A truckload full of awards turned up missing a few years ago, and since then they've been doing things this way! Jon Stewart? Sure, you love him on The Daily Show but as a host for The Oscars? I predict that within the first 15 minutes, this Democrat will start ripping apart George Bush for Iraq or Hurricane Katrina. The storm was his fault you know, because he knew it was coming but swept it under the rug. Jon Stewart is going to fill the evening with politics...at least Tim Robbins and Susan Serandon aren't up for any awards. Neither is Martin Sheen, or Barbara Streisand. All these people want to see George Bush hanging from a noose! Last but not least...Let the Academy give a tribute to the three people who died this past week: Don Knotts, Dennis Weaver, and the guy who played the Dad in A Christmas Story. Let's not dwell on the feature films of Don Knott's however, his Disney flicks from the 1960's and 70's weren't his best. THAT'S the way I see it today as I roll out the red carpet! -------- Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!: Oscars? Enough already!!!

Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Oscars? Enough already!!!

I don't know about you, but I for one am sick of all the talk about Sunday's Oscars! Matter of fact, I think the more appropriate statuette for that evening would be the green muppet who lives in a garbage can...Oscar the Grouch. As far as I'm concerned, all the movies being nominated this year are trash. Take for instance, Brokeback Mountain. I'm sure it's going to clean up most of the awards that evening. My how times have changed! As recently as ten years ago, Hollywood wouldn't have touched a movie about gay cowboys with a ten foot pole! Unless of course, it was shot on VHS in a California basement! Melts in your mouth and your hands! The Mars Candy Company is getting in on the action this year by offering a bingo board game to download off their website for free. It has everything to do with the night of the awards. Some of the squares include who will be the first to swear, who will lose part of their dress, and who will ramble on and on until the music cuts them off. Maybe the M&M's should get an award...after 50 years of plain and peanuts, there's all kinds of varieties available today. Small ones, big ones, peanut butter, pecan, and candy bars with M&M's inside. Let us not forget about all the colored ones such as for Valentine's and Christmas. Anyway, for someone to actually have a party centered around M&M bingo on Sunday night, you must really be bored! Who picks the nominees? Once again, Martin Lawrence gets dissed for his brilliant work in Big Momma's House 2! The naked truth behind the naked statue...Did you know that the gold statue is made right here in Chicago? Here's another factoid: There are only a handful of awards at the actual show. When the winner gets done making his acceptance speech and exits the stage, he hands the award off to a security guard who then passes it off to the next winner. The "real" Oscar is shipped out to those who won via FedEx! A truckload full of awards turned up missing a few years ago, and since then they've been doing things this way! Jon Stewart? Sure, you love him on The Daily Show but as a host for The Oscars? I predict that within the first 15 minutes, this Democrat will start ripping apart George Bush for Iraq or Hurricane Katrina. The storm was his fault you know, because he knew it was coming but swept it under the rug. Jon Stewart is going to fill the evening with politics...at least Tim Robbins and Susan Serandon aren't up for any awards. Neither is Martin Sheen, or Barbara Streisand. All these people want to see George Bush hanging from a noose! Last but not least...Let the Academy give a tribute to the three people who died this past week: Don Knotts, Dennis Weaver, and the guy who played the Dad in A Christmas Story. Let's not dwell on the feature films of Don Knott's however, his Disney flicks from the 1960's and 70's weren't his best. THAT'S the way I see it today as I roll out the red carpet!

posted by Dave Sypniewski at Thursday, March 02, 2006

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