AUTHOR: Dave Sypniewski DATE: Friday, December 23, 2005 ----- BODY: As Squeal E. Pig packed up his crap and called it quits until Tuesday, one story fell between the cracks: Enough of the S.O.B.'s down in New Orleans still blaming all their hardships on a f****** hurricane that happened months ago. While these people had the luxory of a cot on the 50 yard line of the Superdome, along with some 50/50 wool and cotton blankets, others were stalled on the Interstate out of town with water up to their assholes. Now, these people came up here to the "Land of Opportunity" in Chicago looking for a place to stay and a job. Guess what? We don't need anymore transplants here. Matter of fact, I say call up Greyhound and United Airlines and send these people home. There's plenty of jobs at the Superdome...at least for a day. The name of the game is "2000 flushes" 2000 people, men, women, kids, ...anyone that can grab the handle on a toilet are needed to simultaneously flush the toilets. The problem was that after the temporary stay at the dome, toilets couldn't be flushed. If they were, well...you'd be up to your neck in poop, diapers, tampons, and whatever. One custodian at the dome even reported bricks wrapped in towels shoved down the crapper! To flush would be suicide. Well, as the saying goes, you can spray perfume on poop, but the fact is, it's still poop. Fact of the matter is, after Katrina, the Superdome is just as shitty as The Saints, and the biggest ShopVac in the world ain't gonna clean up that big of a mess. Good Luck! Merry Christmas and we'll return on Tuesday! -------- Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!: ***A Squealing Pig Special Report***

Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!

Friday, December 23, 2005

***A Squealing Pig Special Report***

As Squeal E. Pig packed up his crap and called it quits until Tuesday, one story fell between the cracks: Enough of the S.O.B.'s down in New Orleans still blaming all their hardships on a f****** hurricane that happened months ago. While these people had the luxory of a cot on the 50 yard line of the Superdome, along with some 50/50 wool and cotton blankets, others were stalled on the Interstate out of town with water up to their assholes. Now, these people came up here to the "Land of Opportunity" in Chicago looking for a place to stay and a job. Guess what? We don't need anymore transplants here. Matter of fact, I say call up Greyhound and United Airlines and send these people home. There's plenty of jobs at the Superdome...at least for a day. The name of the game is "2000 flushes" 2000 people, men, women, kids, ...anyone that can grab the handle on a toilet are needed to simultaneously flush the toilets. The problem was that after the temporary stay at the dome, toilets couldn't be flushed. If they were, well...you'd be up to your neck in poop, diapers, tampons, and whatever. One custodian at the dome even reported bricks wrapped in towels shoved down the crapper! To flush would be suicide. Well, as the saying goes, you can spray perfume on poop, but the fact is, it's still poop. Fact of the matter is, after Katrina, the Superdome is just as shitty as The Saints, and the biggest ShopVac in the world ain't gonna clean up that big of a mess. Good Luck! Merry Christmas and we'll return on Tuesday!

posted by Dave Sypniewski at Friday, December 23, 2005

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