The Week in Review. Well, kind of. Sort of. OK, not really.
Well, it's December 22nd. Although not officially the end of the week, here's some Christmas cheer to brighten your day. Grab some egg nog and a couple of cookies, and let's go tour The Web!
- First stop: Eureka Springs, Arkansas. Every town both large and small has their "Holiday Hooligans" at this time of year. If your church hasn't been bothered by the neighborhood atheist who wants to tear down the stable out front and replace it with Santa Claus, you might be enjoying the illuminated Nativity scene. As I say, there's usually some teenagers who find it funny to steal the Baby Jesus. That just about guarantees an eternity with satan poking your rear end with a pitchfork! What happens when the thief turns out to be a 70 year old lady who is upset that as of a few weeks ago, Baby Jesus still lay sleeping peacefully near her home? In the middle of the night, Virginia Voiers (who by the way, is also a Sunday school teacher) swiped the Jesus to keep the tradition going. She didn't get too far because their were security cameras taping the incident and she got a citation. Good news for her however, because the Minister dropped the charges and told her Jesus forgives her. She also said she was just looking for something to do. What? No bingo in Eureka Springs?
- A few weeks ago, CBS ran a Victoria's Secret Christmas Special. What better way to celebrate the season than with half nude women? It was such a hit that they even ran it twice. I must admit, I enjoyed the skimpy Santa Claus lingerie. A kid in New York took his infatuation one step further. In the middle of the night, local police got a call about a ringing burgler alarm at the mall. As they arrived to see what was going on, they noticed the overhead metal security door partially raised in front of Victoria's Secret. They got quite a shock when they shown their flashlight down the aisle, only to see a naked man and a naked mannequin rolling around on the floor. The 20 year old said that he's been infatuated with the piece of plastic and "had to have her". The cops said that was definitely a first in that community. Someone's been watching those silly Andrew Macarthy "Mannequin" movies too much!
- Starting today, if you're traveling by air, forget about watching those boring movies in-flight. Once again, you can enjoy all your favorite hobbies on the plane. In what has to be the silliest decision of the year (and not to mention, poor timing), airports are easing up on some of the rules and regulations about what you can bring on board. Some of those things include: knitting needles, scissors, small pocket knives and razors. Knitting needles have no business on a plane! Besides, what kind of person can't possibly be without those things for a couple of days? I never had any use for them in my life!
posted by Dave Sypniewski at
Thursday, December 22, 2005
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