"This is a bank robbery! Oops, I've got another call" AND carolers singing the blues
"A Dog Day Afternoon" with Al Pacino was a typical bank robbery. Maybe the dummy that robbed a bank in New Zealand a few days ago should go rent the DVD before trying it again. Call it stupidity. Call it greed. When a person robs a bank, they usually don't attempt to get more money the next day at the same bank. Here's what happened...After telling a clerk at the bank by gunpoint to put all the money in a bag, the stupid criminal goes home and makes a clean getaway. He counted all the money but was a little irked that it wasn't enough. After some consideration, the guy thought that maybe that really was all the money they had to give, but he still wanted more. Being a little unsure, he places a call to the bank and explains to the teller that he was there yesterday to rob the place and needs more money. He even made sure to tell her that the phone call was considered another robbery and that whatever didn't fit in his bag the day before, should be put into another bag and he'll go to the banks drive thru window to get it in a while. He never showed up but made another call to say he'd rather meet someone with the money at a business across the street. By that time, police had traced the call and picked him up at his house. Two questions remain: 1) Did someone from the bank actually go to meet him? 2) Did the robber wear a ski mask when he made the telephone call?!!! ...Before attempting to get into The Book of World Records, always make sure to find out what the record actually is! Wausau, Wisconsin residents grew tired of just being known for it's paper mills and umm, that's it. Paper mills. They do a heck of a job with Christmas however, kind of like the Chevy Chase movie Funny Farm where a small town conspires together to make the place look like a Norman Rockwell Christmas painting in order to trick some people into buying a house there. In Wausau, you probably finish 8th grade and maybe a year or two of high school before leaving town before it's too late, or ending up employed at umm, the paper mills. Desperate to get their town noticed (must've worked. I'm writing about them) they decided to break a Guiness World Record by assembling a large group of folks to sing Christmas carols. 1300 people showed up at the beginning but that number began to dwindle as (here it comes) people began arguing over the songs that mention "Jesus", and "The Three Kings", among other religious themed lyrics. After bickering for a while over the music, they finally decided that they would "cut and paste" what they could and sprinkle two or three religious songs into the set to make everyone happy. It didn't matter. After several tapes were submitted to Guiness, they were shocked to learn that the record was actually a little over 4500 people set last year just outside of Boston. The whole town shut down for a few hours to make it on the map...even the Chevron station and Piggly Wiggly put a "be back later" sign in their windows, and the towns flashing yellow traffic light was briefly turned off. I say, forget about the darn singing and enter Wausau under a different category like umm, the most paper mills outside of Neenah-Menasha??? Just a thought, but THAT'S how I see things today.
posted by Dave Sypniewski at
Monday, December 12, 2005
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home