AUTHOR: Dave Sypniewski DATE: Wednesday, December 14, 2005 ----- BODY: Commercialism and Christmas are two things that always seem to come together. Adding to my list of crazy lawn displays comes this one out of New York where the homeowner tells the New York Post that the true meaning of Christmas has been lost and gets worse every year. This guy claims that he's a very religious man so, what posesses a religious guy like this to decorate his lawn with a Santa Claus holding a chainsaw in one hand, and a dolly (complete with missing eyes, severed leg and a slit throat with blood splattered everywhere) in the other? "It's just a statement" he says. Ok. If a serial killing Santa doesn't get you shook up, his neighbors are really screaming bloody murder that just off to the side of St. Nick is an illuminated manger complete with Mary, Joseph, Jesus, and the 3 Kings. Pope Benedict XVI hates Christmas in the 21st Century too. The whole commercialism thing has even traveled all the way to the Vatican. Pope Benedict has been on quite a rant recently telling people to forget about material items and gift giving and if you must give, give to the Church or a good charity. He reminds all of us that in Jesus' day there weren't any shopping malls and fancy name brand items to put under a tree. All that talk has gotten His Holiness painted into a corner unexpectedly. It turns out that The Pope (the man who didn't want the job in the first place) balked at the idea of riding around in the infamous "Popemobile" and insisted on a $120,000 Mercedes. He's also been photographed wearing Gucci sunglasses, using a Blackberry Cell phone, and walking around in ruby red sequined slippers. Maybe the actual ones Judy Garland wore as she walked down the yellow brick road!?! Meanwhile, ABC News was quick to point out Pope John Paul II wore "common man" brown shoes that had seen better days! What do you do when you're newlywed Husband gets shipped off overseas with the Navy? If you're Suzy Walker of Kingsland, Georgia you go on eBay and purchase a mannequin, wait for the UPS man to bring a large box, go to the Army Navy Surplus store for a sailor suit, and dress him up to look like the real D.B. Walker who is aboard the U.S.S. West Virginia and doesn't know when he'll be coming home. As the photos show, this is just a little too creepy. Mrs. Walker puts a mustache on the dummy and lugs him with wherever she goes. She's taken him to "The Waffle House" for breakfast, the Winn Dixie and Wal-Mart to shop, and he's even handed $10 over to a liquor store clerk to purchase Lotto tickets. Although he can't speak, if he won Lotto I'm sure he would buy some new clear coat varnish and take a bath in it. Mrs. Walker clutches him so tight that the paint is falling off. The Local Yokels in Georgia thought it was a bit absurd in the beginning when they saw her and sometimes a friend holding the sailor up and walking into the restaurant. He looks like he's been out all night drinking! Most of the folks seem to get a chuckle once they learn the real D.B. Walker is stationed overseas fighting for the good ol' USA, and they get to see firsthand the mental stress that being alone brings to a newlywed with a husband in the US Navy. D.B. Walker didn't know anything about it until someone wrote him after seeing it on "Good Morning America". He doesn't mind though. As for Suzy Walker, she's upset with eBay for allowing a seller to falsely advertise an item. The ad said the mannequin was lifelike. She was hoping to start a family and the dummy only had a woodie filled with sawdust! Since then, he's been sleeping in the guest room. THAT'S the way I see it! -------- Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!: Santa Bloody Santa AND a sailor with a heart of sawdust!

Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Santa Bloody Santa AND a sailor with a heart of sawdust!

Commercialism and Christmas are two things that always seem to come together. Adding to my list of crazy lawn displays comes this one out of New York where the homeowner tells the New York Post that the true meaning of Christmas has been lost and gets worse every year. This guy claims that he's a very religious man so, what posesses a religious guy like this to decorate his lawn with a Santa Claus holding a chainsaw in one hand, and a dolly (complete with missing eyes, severed leg and a slit throat with blood splattered everywhere) in the other? "It's just a statement" he says. Ok. If a serial killing Santa doesn't get you shook up, his neighbors are really screaming bloody murder that just off to the side of St. Nick is an illuminated manger complete with Mary, Joseph, Jesus, and the 3 Kings. Pope Benedict XVI hates Christmas in the 21st Century too. The whole commercialism thing has even traveled all the way to the Vatican. Pope Benedict has been on quite a rant recently telling people to forget about material items and gift giving and if you must give, give to the Church or a good charity. He reminds all of us that in Jesus' day there weren't any shopping malls and fancy name brand items to put under a tree. All that talk has gotten His Holiness painted into a corner unexpectedly. It turns out that The Pope (the man who didn't want the job in the first place) balked at the idea of riding around in the infamous "Popemobile" and insisted on a $120,000 Mercedes. He's also been photographed wearing Gucci sunglasses, using a Blackberry Cell phone, and walking around in ruby red sequined slippers. Maybe the actual ones Judy Garland wore as she walked down the yellow brick road!?! Meanwhile, ABC News was quick to point out Pope John Paul II wore "common man" brown shoes that had seen better days! What do you do when you're newlywed Husband gets shipped off overseas with the Navy? If you're Suzy Walker of Kingsland, Georgia you go on eBay and purchase a mannequin, wait for the UPS man to bring a large box, go to the Army Navy Surplus store for a sailor suit, and dress him up to look like the real D.B. Walker who is aboard the U.S.S. West Virginia and doesn't know when he'll be coming home. As the photos show, this is just a little too creepy. Mrs. Walker puts a mustache on the dummy and lugs him with wherever she goes. She's taken him to "The Waffle House" for breakfast, the Winn Dixie and Wal-Mart to shop, and he's even handed $10 over to a liquor store clerk to purchase Lotto tickets. Although he can't speak, if he won Lotto I'm sure he would buy some new clear coat varnish and take a bath in it. Mrs. Walker clutches him so tight that the paint is falling off. The Local Yokels in Georgia thought it was a bit absurd in the beginning when they saw her and sometimes a friend holding the sailor up and walking into the restaurant. He looks like he's been out all night drinking! Most of the folks seem to get a chuckle once they learn the real D.B. Walker is stationed overseas fighting for the good ol' USA, and they get to see firsthand the mental stress that being alone brings to a newlywed with a husband in the US Navy. D.B. Walker didn't know anything about it until someone wrote him after seeing it on "Good Morning America". He doesn't mind though. As for Suzy Walker, she's upset with eBay for allowing a seller to falsely advertise an item. The ad said the mannequin was lifelike. She was hoping to start a family and the dummy only had a woodie filled with sawdust! Since then, he's been sleeping in the guest room. THAT'S the way I see it!

posted by Dave Sypniewski at Wednesday, December 14, 2005

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