AUTHOR: Dave Sypniewski DATE: Wednesday, December 21, 2005 ----- BODY: Well, it's finally official. Elton John and his longtime companion have tied the knot. In a ceremony that was supposed to be a few close friends, the guest list quickly expanded to include a large range of wacky characters such as crossdressers, gays, lesbians, and more freaks than a carnival sideshow. Now, rumor has it that there was a bit of a dispute leading up to this blessed union. George Michael, Ru Paul, and Richard Branson had to draw straws over who was going to be the Bridesmaid and who would be the flowergirl. I'd like to know who exactly will be carrying who over the threshold tonight at the Honeymoon Suite. Sir Elton deserves some credit considering all the hell he's been through. I'll bet he made a terrific bridegroom. Over the years, Elton has aged gracefully. Check out one of his older album covers from the early 1970's where he appears to be damn near bald...while other his age struggle with "the combover", he and Burt Reynolds are living proof that the older you get, the more hair you get. Unfortunately, for people like me who are anxiously awaiting next week's People Magazine, the waiting is the hardest part. The happy couple turned down a few million bucks to get married on American TV. Happy Christmas! The turnstiles are still ...unturned in New York. New Yorker's are still toughing out the strike, and still bitching and moaning that they have to walk, ride a bike, or carpool. The cops are out in full force to teach the nitwits some basic mathmatics. I guess four people to a car is too difficult to undertand because people are trying to slip through with one or two people...and getting tickets...and complaining. Heck, the muggers in the subway are complaining too. With Christmas a few days away, they're looking for anyone to clunk over the head and rob. Enough crying already! It will be over before you know it. THAT'S the way I see things today! -------- Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!: "Who gets carried over the threshold?" AND P.O.'d in NY

Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

"Who gets carried over the threshold?" AND P.O.'d in NY

Well, it's finally official. Elton John and his longtime companion have tied the knot. In a ceremony that was supposed to be a few close friends, the guest list quickly expanded to include a large range of wacky characters such as crossdressers, gays, lesbians, and more freaks than a carnival sideshow. Now, rumor has it that there was a bit of a dispute leading up to this blessed union. George Michael, Ru Paul, and Richard Branson had to draw straws over who was going to be the Bridesmaid and who would be the flowergirl. I'd like to know who exactly will be carrying who over the threshold tonight at the Honeymoon Suite. Sir Elton deserves some credit considering all the hell he's been through. I'll bet he made a terrific bridegroom. Over the years, Elton has aged gracefully. Check out one of his older album covers from the early 1970's where he appears to be damn near bald...while other his age struggle with "the combover", he and Burt Reynolds are living proof that the older you get, the more hair you get. Unfortunately, for people like me who are anxiously awaiting next week's People Magazine, the waiting is the hardest part. The happy couple turned down a few million bucks to get married on American TV. Happy Christmas! The turnstiles are still ...unturned in New York. New Yorker's are still toughing out the strike, and still bitching and moaning that they have to walk, ride a bike, or carpool. The cops are out in full force to teach the nitwits some basic mathmatics. I guess four people to a car is too difficult to undertand because people are trying to slip through with one or two people...and getting tickets...and complaining. Heck, the muggers in the subway are complaining too. With Christmas a few days away, they're looking for anyone to clunk over the head and rob. Enough crying already! It will be over before you know it. THAT'S the way I see things today!

posted by Dave Sypniewski at Wednesday, December 21, 2005

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