AUTHOR: Dave Sypniewski DATE: Friday, November 25, 2005 ----- BODY: So, Thanksgiving 2005 is in the books, but not without a little bad press generated by Macy's annual parade. As onlookers watched the bands, floats, and lip syncing teenagers pass by, something was happening around the corner. As the wind forced Chicken Little's head to tilt back and look into the clouds, you couldn't help but hear him say, "The sky is falling!" because at the same time some M&M balloons came crashing down into a streetlamp injuring two spectators! The irony here, is that about an hour before, NY Mayor Bloomberg spoke about a tragedy that happened in 1997 where the same thing happened. In that case however, the woman who was injured ended up with permanent brain damage. I never understood why people get so excited over these balloons. I also didn't know that the night before the parade there's a big ceremony that New Yorker's attend where the balloons get inflated with the helium. In any event, it's the same thing every year, Disney comes out with a new movie and then they rush to make a balloon right before they convert the movie to an "On Ice" show. Other balloons should be retired. I'll bet Charles Schulz is looking down from heaven and shaking his head in disbelief when he sees that worn out Charlie Brown going down the street. But hey, these balloons are dangerous things! If it's windy they're not supposed to fly. And to think that all these years later we would have learned a lesson from The Hindenberg crash. Standing out on the street in the wind and cold to watch the parade is starting to be like watching the Indy 500 and getting hit by a flying tire! ...Some folks can't wait for Thanksgiving, while others can't wait for the day after Thanksgiving. I'm talking about today being "Black Friday". It gets the name because supposedly stores are usually in the "red" as far as sales go BUT, on a busy shopping day like today they suddenly go into the "black." I don't care what you want to call it...you wouldn't catch me dead at the mall today because of all the "black hearts" out there. Someone needs to do a study of some sort on the behavior of women when there's a sale at Target or Penny's. Women will push, shove, and trample another human to death to get into the door first. Woodfield Mall today resembles Shey Stadium when The Beatles first came to America. The women were lined up outside at 2:00 in the morning waiting to get in and as 5:00 rolled around they nearly pushed the glass doors in. They already broke an escalator over there when the cattle were let in and the thing wasn't moving fast enough. And they say men are bad?! I tried visiting a store years ago the day after Christmas...it was the same thing. No matter where I stood I was getting pushed and shoved and grabbed at by this angry mob of bargain hunters and ten minutes after the store opened it was a mess. Cleaned out. It looked like it was the L.A. riots and the place got looted. Men would never behave this way. We're smart because we avoid situations like that. If you want to take your life into your hands to save a couple bucks, be my guest. You won't see me at any mall today, or any other day before Christmas for that matter. I do all my Christmas shopping at Walgreen's! THAT'S the way I see things today! -------- Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!: The sky WAS falling! and Black hearts on a Black Friday!

Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!

Friday, November 25, 2005

The sky WAS falling! and Black hearts on a Black Friday!

So, Thanksgiving 2005 is in the books, but not without a little bad press generated by Macy's annual parade. As onlookers watched the bands, floats, and lip syncing teenagers pass by, something was happening around the corner. As the wind forced Chicken Little's head to tilt back and look into the clouds, you couldn't help but hear him say, "The sky is falling!" because at the same time some M&M balloons came crashing down into a streetlamp injuring two spectators! The irony here, is that about an hour before, NY Mayor Bloomberg spoke about a tragedy that happened in 1997 where the same thing happened. In that case however, the woman who was injured ended up with permanent brain damage. I never understood why people get so excited over these balloons. I also didn't know that the night before the parade there's a big ceremony that New Yorker's attend where the balloons get inflated with the helium. In any event, it's the same thing every year, Disney comes out with a new movie and then they rush to make a balloon right before they convert the movie to an "On Ice" show. Other balloons should be retired. I'll bet Charles Schulz is looking down from heaven and shaking his head in disbelief when he sees that worn out Charlie Brown going down the street. But hey, these balloons are dangerous things! If it's windy they're not supposed to fly. And to think that all these years later we would have learned a lesson from The Hindenberg crash. Standing out on the street in the wind and cold to watch the parade is starting to be like watching the Indy 500 and getting hit by a flying tire! ...Some folks can't wait for Thanksgiving, while others can't wait for the day after Thanksgiving. I'm talking about today being "Black Friday". It gets the name because supposedly stores are usually in the "red" as far as sales go BUT, on a busy shopping day like today they suddenly go into the "black." I don't care what you want to call it...you wouldn't catch me dead at the mall today because of all the "black hearts" out there. Someone needs to do a study of some sort on the behavior of women when there's a sale at Target or Penny's. Women will push, shove, and trample another human to death to get into the door first. Woodfield Mall today resembles Shey Stadium when The Beatles first came to America. The women were lined up outside at 2:00 in the morning waiting to get in and as 5:00 rolled around they nearly pushed the glass doors in. They already broke an escalator over there when the cattle were let in and the thing wasn't moving fast enough. And they say men are bad?! I tried visiting a store years ago the day after Christmas...it was the same thing. No matter where I stood I was getting pushed and shoved and grabbed at by this angry mob of bargain hunters and ten minutes after the store opened it was a mess. Cleaned out. It looked like it was the L.A. riots and the place got looted. Men would never behave this way. We're smart because we avoid situations like that. If you want to take your life into your hands to save a couple bucks, be my guest. You won't see me at any mall today, or any other day before Christmas for that matter. I do all my Christmas shopping at Walgreen's! THAT'S the way I see things today!

posted by Dave Sypniewski at Friday, November 25, 2005

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