AUTHOR: Dave Sypniewski DATE: Saturday, November 19, 2005 ----- BODY: In a couple of weeks, those of us lucky enough to have cable will be treated to 'round the clock airings of little Ralphie and his Red Rider BB Gun. Now, that was one movie that kind of sank when it first appeared around 1983. Thanks to it's continous airings on TNT and TBS over the Holidays, Ralphie will live forever. The man behind Ralphie's personna however, there's no telling what he's up to next. Yours truly once again tried to contact the former child star, Peter Billingsly whose credits include a guest stint on "Highway to Heaven" and a couple of "Nestle' Quik" commercials. I approached this very carefully knowing full well that this guy is more than likely bitter or angry at his family for throwing him into show business. So what does he end up doing? XXX movies! Well, at least one that's on record. He's also Directed episodes of "The Outer Limits" and "The Dead Zone" but for some reason refuses to acknowledge his past. As an autograph seeker, this gig is getting harder and harder. You would think that Billingsly would be proud that people remember him. Like a fine wine, "A Christmas Story" only gets better with age. If I were him, I'd go out and meet and greet the fans of this classic film. Since most of it was done in Whiting and East Chicago, IN., the residents would go nuts having even a "B" list actor come to town. What else is there to do there besides evacuate your homes from oil refinery fires......I remember going up to Wisconsin in the mid 1980's with my good friend Joel Sacramento to see BOSTON at Alpine Valley Music Theatre. Boy, was that a good show. It was also a day after Stevie Ray Vaughn's helicopter came crashing down after a show with Eric Clapton, who was supposed to be on that chopper. Even a day later, the sweet smell of dope filled the air and gave us all a contact high. Sure, memories are made of these. Since then, I've been to dozens of concerts and the smell of dope always makes an appearance. I've talked about AXE body spray before but, I can officially say that I am a user. Sure, I spray that junk everywhere...under arms, ass crack, private parts. A few weeks ago when Lisa went to Walgreen's, I told her to pick me up a can of this stuff in whatever scent they had available. Well, the scent was called,"unlimited" and after spraying myself, I realized what it REALLY is...marijuana. Go check it out for yourself! Let's put it this way, this is not the time of year to spray yourself full of AXE Unlimited. You get pulled over and roll down the window to a policeman and he's bound to take you Downtown and have you pee in a cup and put you in the slammer! AXE is really a good name for the product because when you spray yourself, your neck is on the chopping block. It kind of makes me long for the days of mountain mist and summer rain. I may very well be the first person who will get arrested for spraying his armpits and testicles with deodorant, so I've decided that from now on, I won't use anything...! -------- Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!: Shooting your eye out and kicking AXE before jail!

Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Shooting your eye out and kicking AXE before jail!

In a couple of weeks, those of us lucky enough to have cable will be treated to 'round the clock airings of little Ralphie and his Red Rider BB Gun. Now, that was one movie that kind of sank when it first appeared around 1983. Thanks to it's continous airings on TNT and TBS over the Holidays, Ralphie will live forever. The man behind Ralphie's personna however, there's no telling what he's up to next. Yours truly once again tried to contact the former child star, Peter Billingsly whose credits include a guest stint on "Highway to Heaven" and a couple of "Nestle' Quik" commercials. I approached this very carefully knowing full well that this guy is more than likely bitter or angry at his family for throwing him into show business. So what does he end up doing? XXX movies! Well, at least one that's on record. He's also Directed episodes of "The Outer Limits" and "The Dead Zone" but for some reason refuses to acknowledge his past. As an autograph seeker, this gig is getting harder and harder. You would think that Billingsly would be proud that people remember him. Like a fine wine, "A Christmas Story" only gets better with age. If I were him, I'd go out and meet and greet the fans of this classic film. Since most of it was done in Whiting and East Chicago, IN., the residents would go nuts having even a "B" list actor come to town. What else is there to do there besides evacuate your homes from oil refinery fires......I remember going up to Wisconsin in the mid 1980's with my good friend Joel Sacramento to see BOSTON at Alpine Valley Music Theatre. Boy, was that a good show. It was also a day after Stevie Ray Vaughn's helicopter came crashing down after a show with Eric Clapton, who was supposed to be on that chopper. Even a day later, the sweet smell of dope filled the air and gave us all a contact high. Sure, memories are made of these. Since then, I've been to dozens of concerts and the smell of dope always makes an appearance. I've talked about AXE body spray before but, I can officially say that I am a user. Sure, I spray that junk everywhere...under arms, ass crack, private parts. A few weeks ago when Lisa went to Walgreen's, I told her to pick me up a can of this stuff in whatever scent they had available. Well, the scent was called,"unlimited" and after spraying myself, I realized what it REALLY is...marijuana. Go check it out for yourself! Let's put it this way, this is not the time of year to spray yourself full of AXE Unlimited. You get pulled over and roll down the window to a policeman and he's bound to take you Downtown and have you pee in a cup and put you in the slammer! AXE is really a good name for the product because when you spray yourself, your neck is on the chopping block. It kind of makes me long for the days of mountain mist and summer rain. I may very well be the first person who will get arrested for spraying his armpits and testicles with deodorant, so I've decided that from now on, I won't use anything...!

posted by Dave Sypniewski at Saturday, November 19, 2005

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