AUTHOR: Dave Sypniewski DATE: Wednesday, November 16, 2005 ----- BODY: ***WARNING! TODAY'S BLOG IS RATED "O", NOT JUST FOR "OPRAH", BUT BECAUSE IT MAY BE OFFENSIVE WITH STRONG, GRAPHIC , LANGUAGE. OTHERWISE, READ ON!*** I'll bet that you never had any idea The Queen of Talk is enjoying her 20th year in Chicago, did ya? Or that she has a new DVD, did ya? Who knew she has her own CATV Network and magazine? Well, where have YOU been? If you don't want to plunk down the $35 for the "Best Of" DVD, one of the best things is missing from it anyway: Clips from a Canadian import known as "Talk Sex with Sue." This show airs on Sunday's (nice eh?) at night on the OH! Network. I don't know if Sue Johanson is really some kind of Doctor or just a horny old lady that needs a lover. Whatever the case, the Granny who is in her late 60's or early 70's spends an hour every weekend taking calls and answering questions from mostly a Canadian audience on all kinds of trashy topics. To make sure you get the point, she's got a couple of wooden "puppets" that she uses to demonstrate. Her show was only seen by a few folks in Canada until Oprah lured her over to OH! Unlike Oprah's other pal Dr. Phil, you won't be seeing Sue Johanson on tv in the afternoon anytime soon. In fact, her show is almost too much for basic cable late at night. It almost belongs on one of those PPV channels that play the seedy movies. To say the show is creepy is an understatement. Would you like your Grandma to give you step by step instructions on how to sodomize another person? How about demonstrating the proper way to put on a condom using a bananna? Better yet, demonstate oral sex with a kielbasa and an artichoke? Yeah, if your Grandma were to prove to you that "69" is more than just a number, you might go running right for the shower. This old lady loves sex, and her audience of folks mainly in their 20's love it too. The best part of her show is when she pulls out her bag of tricks that include "The Butterfly" , "French Tickler", and "Butt Plugg" (The latter of which, is a good thing to ask for next time you're at Home Depot or Lowes). Come to think of it, it would also be funny to go to one of the hardware stores to ask for a "golden shower"! Switching gears slightly, what's up with "O" Magazine? What kind of person other than Oprah would be so arrogant to put themselves on every single cover? Here's hoping Oprah and her Empire enjoy another 20 years...IN RETIREMENT! The people that spend the bucks on her DVD set should join Tom Cruise for a few silly hops on her couch, which I'm sure is included on the DVD too. "O" for over for today. -------- Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!: A peek inside 20 years of Oprah's Empire!

Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

A peek inside 20 years of Oprah's Empire!

***WARNING! TODAY'S BLOG IS RATED "O", NOT JUST FOR "OPRAH", BUT BECAUSE IT MAY BE OFFENSIVE WITH STRONG, GRAPHIC , LANGUAGE. OTHERWISE, READ ON!*** I'll bet that you never had any idea The Queen of Talk is enjoying her 20th year in Chicago, did ya? Or that she has a new DVD, did ya? Who knew she has her own CATV Network and magazine? Well, where have YOU been? If you don't want to plunk down the $35 for the "Best Of" DVD, one of the best things is missing from it anyway: Clips from a Canadian import known as "Talk Sex with Sue." This show airs on Sunday's (nice eh?) at night on the OH! Network. I don't know if Sue Johanson is really some kind of Doctor or just a horny old lady that needs a lover. Whatever the case, the Granny who is in her late 60's or early 70's spends an hour every weekend taking calls and answering questions from mostly a Canadian audience on all kinds of trashy topics. To make sure you get the point, she's got a couple of wooden "puppets" that she uses to demonstrate. Her show was only seen by a few folks in Canada until Oprah lured her over to OH! Unlike Oprah's other pal Dr. Phil, you won't be seeing Sue Johanson on tv in the afternoon anytime soon. In fact, her show is almost too much for basic cable late at night. It almost belongs on one of those PPV channels that play the seedy movies. To say the show is creepy is an understatement. Would you like your Grandma to give you step by step instructions on how to sodomize another person? How about demonstrating the proper way to put on a condom using a bananna? Better yet, demonstate oral sex with a kielbasa and an artichoke? Yeah, if your Grandma were to prove to you that "69" is more than just a number, you might go running right for the shower. This old lady loves sex, and her audience of folks mainly in their 20's love it too. The best part of her show is when she pulls out her bag of tricks that include "The Butterfly" , "French Tickler", and "Butt Plugg" (The latter of which, is a good thing to ask for next time you're at Home Depot or Lowes). Come to think of it, it would also be funny to go to one of the hardware stores to ask for a "golden shower"! Switching gears slightly, what's up with "O" Magazine? What kind of person other than Oprah would be so arrogant to put themselves on every single cover? Here's hoping Oprah and her Empire enjoy another 20 years...IN RETIREMENT! The people that spend the bucks on her DVD set should join Tom Cruise for a few silly hops on her couch, which I'm sure is included on the DVD too. "O" for over for today.

posted by Dave Sypniewski at Wednesday, November 16, 2005

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home