AUTHOR: Dave Sypniewski DATE: Friday, November 18, 2005 ----- BODY: You have to give the folks at NBC some kudos...afterall, they were able to reel me in for what I thought in the beginning was a demeaning show. I'm talking about "The Biggest Loser", Now, VH1 had a show with washed up Hollywood stars that was funny however, the NBC show just featured your everyday folks with a common denominator: Being fat! I should have known from the get-go that the show was rigged. As season two comes to an end, the fella to the left who's name is Matt has already used up nine lives and should have been voted off a month ago. It now appears in my opinion, that Matt will walk away the winner in two weeks having lost over 125 lbs so far. There's a lot of things that obviously didn't matter along the way...I speak of his midnite refrigerator raids that were caught on hidden camera, and the times he stormed out of the house refusing to partake in workouts. Then there was the crying. Boy, Matt loved to cry like a little girl who lost her dolly. The way I see it, good old Matt with the heart of gold should have been voted off about four times at least. Now, I will go on record to say that with only a few people left, Matt will win the half a million bucks or whatever it is. I know he will cry a river of tears no matter what the outcome because he still feels guilty for having voted off some of his friends, even though they assured him that he had to do what was necessary and they would still remain friends in the end. They're getting him ready for the big prize. Heck, he cried about getting his haircut. So, trust me, he's got to win. You'll see! ...Ahhh yes. In a few more weeks it will be "chow chow for now, for good" when Channel 7's elderly food critic with the Sally Jesse Raphael glasses calls it a career and wiggles his way into retirement. James Ward (not to be confused with the James Ward of Peoria, AZ) has brought us lots of cheer over the years on Channel 7's 10 PM News on Friday Nights by recommending Chicago area eateries from breakfast to brunch to a late night snack. One thing is for sure, when this Irishman phones in ahead of time to let the restaurant know he's coming, there's a reason for that...He's giving them a few hours notice so they can stock up the bar for him and his dining companions. You see, Mr. Ward isn't your typical food critic that "drops in" to a restaurant in disguise so nobody knows he's there, in fact he's the type of guy that gets aggitated if you DON'T notice him (More angry if the place runs out of liquor). Everyone knows that an evening of mixing beer, wine, and other assortments and then dining on a really crappy steak and not enjoying it, by the time Mr. Ward goes on live television a few hours later half in the bag and slurring, the bad steak he just dined on at "Weber Bar and Grill" in Chicago, suddenly earns four stars. It was in everyone's best interest to keep the drinks coming and the lousy "Pepe's" down the street will even earn nothing but props. As Mr. Ward begins clearing out his cubicle at WLS-TV, I say to him, "Happy trails" and "May your glass always remain half full!" Chow chow for now... -------- Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!: The biggest loser and the biggest boozer!

Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!

Friday, November 18, 2005

The biggest loser and the biggest boozer!

You have to give the folks at NBC some kudos...afterall, they were able to reel me in for what I thought in the beginning was a demeaning show. I'm talking about "The Biggest Loser", Now, VH1 had a show with washed up Hollywood stars that was funny however, the NBC show just featured your everyday folks with a common denominator: Being fat! I should have known from the get-go that the show was rigged. As season two comes to an end, the fella to the left who's name is Matt has already used up nine lives and should have been voted off a month ago. It now appears in my opinion, that Matt will walk away the winner in two weeks having lost over 125 lbs so far. There's a lot of things that obviously didn't matter along the way...I speak of his midnite refrigerator raids that were caught on hidden camera, and the times he stormed out of the house refusing to partake in workouts. Then there was the crying. Boy, Matt loved to cry like a little girl who lost her dolly. The way I see it, good old Matt with the heart of gold should have been voted off about four times at least. Now, I will go on record to say that with only a few people left, Matt will win the half a million bucks or whatever it is. I know he will cry a river of tears no matter what the outcome because he still feels guilty for having voted off some of his friends, even though they assured him that he had to do what was necessary and they would still remain friends in the end. They're getting him ready for the big prize. Heck, he cried about getting his haircut. So, trust me, he's got to win. You'll see! ...Ahhh yes. In a few more weeks it will be "chow chow for now, for good" when Channel 7's elderly food critic with the Sally Jesse Raphael glasses calls it a career and wiggles his way into retirement. James Ward (not to be confused with the James Ward of Peoria, AZ) has brought us lots of cheer over the years on Channel 7's 10 PM News on Friday Nights by recommending Chicago area eateries from breakfast to brunch to a late night snack. One thing is for sure, when this Irishman phones in ahead of time to let the restaurant know he's coming, there's a reason for that...He's giving them a few hours notice so they can stock up the bar for him and his dining companions. You see, Mr. Ward isn't your typical food critic that "drops in" to a restaurant in disguise so nobody knows he's there, in fact he's the type of guy that gets aggitated if you DON'T notice him (More angry if the place runs out of liquor). Everyone knows that an evening of mixing beer, wine, and other assortments and then dining on a really crappy steak and not enjoying it, by the time Mr. Ward goes on live television a few hours later half in the bag and slurring, the bad steak he just dined on at "Weber Bar and Grill" in Chicago, suddenly earns four stars. It was in everyone's best interest to keep the drinks coming and the lousy "Pepe's" down the street will even earn nothing but props. As Mr. Ward begins clearing out his cubicle at WLS-TV, I say to him, "Happy trails" and "May your glass always remain half full!" Chow chow for now...

posted by Dave Sypniewski at Friday, November 18, 2005

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