How does it feel to be working for General Motors?
First of all, I'm having some "problems" with the pictures I've been using. Until the issue is resolved (which could be any hour now), I'll have to march on without my walking stick. That's OK though...I don't need any photos to discuss how angry I am with both General Motors and my mailman. A few months ago the folks at GM had a promotion called "The Hot Button." In the ads, they were using NASA space shuttle footage of a launch in progress. I conjured up one of my bogus, phony e-mails and said one of my relatives was an astronaut on the last shuttle explosion and I didn't think it was funny, and that my lawyers were going to come after GM like a pack of hungry wolves. Now, I know it wasn't because of me...I'm not that stupid, BUT a few weeks later those commercials vanished. Now they have a new promotion that says we are ALL employees of GM and we'll get the same deal as the people that make the cars. Now, I don't remember ever applying for a job there, and if this is some "ghost payroll" thing that they have in Chicago, I haven't been getting my paychecks either. This Friday should be another payday. Maybe they got lost in the mail. I would like to put all the blame on my mailman however, he does a good job of personally handing me all the slimey Spam that hasn't weasled it's way into my e-mail box. What I need to do is write GM again and tell them I'm not in the market for a new car unless, considering we all work together, maybe the CEO will give me one of those Pontiac G6's as a company car! Now here's why I hate to see the mailman working his way over to our house...those sneaky S.O.B.'s are now using dirty tricks in snail mail to get you to open their crap! It used to be that they would stamp their return address, I'd see it, and not even bother to open it up. Now, they're playing dirty pool. I can see how easy people can get fooled by opening a letter bomb. I get something now and I don't know what to do. I get mail almost every day that resembles what looks like a Social Security check or income tax return, large envelopes that resemble overnight mail and Fed Ex, and postcards with some kind of silly photo on the front and what looks like a hand written letter (it's not) on the back. I don't know if it's a party invitation or someone I know is on vacation so I HAVE to read these things. Nine times out of ten they're from GM or a car dealership. Those bastards! What really got me happened on Monday. I get a legal sized envelope from what appeared to be a major law firm in Chicago. It scared the crap out of me...all of a sudden I'm thinking someone's suing me. It looked really looked legit! After an hour or so, after my panic attacks stopped, I was able to open it and see it was advertising from a car dealership. They got me again! Maybe next time they'll finally finish the job and kill me. My wife can sue them for a few million and get enough money to send our baby to college for a year or two! I had enough! THAT'S the way I see it!
posted by Dave Sypniewski at
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
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