AUTHOR: Dave Sypniewski DATE: Friday, June 10, 2005 ----- BODY: ANOTHER WEEK CLOSER TO WINTER and I still don't know where I packed my summer "cabana wear!" That's OK. The commercials for IKEA's "summer clearance sale" are still airing. That means in a few months, it'll be time to bundle up!*****This will read as a "who's who" list of people that I'm sick of hearing from, or about this past week,,,good thing I don't live within the city limits of Chicago. I'd have Richard Daley as my Mayor. Now this guy, always notorious for giving jobs to people who feather his nest, has added heroin dealers to his payroll along with workers who train pitbulls to fight. Along comes Jesse Jackson Jr. and his plans to run against Daley. Just like his old man, he doesn't know what he wants to do next except for making the nightly news every night. His Dad has been in the news too! At 4 in the afternoon he's in New York or D.C., and in the evening he's flying out to L.A. to "pray" with Michael Jackson! Jacko doesn't want to pray, he wants to "play." Everyone I mention above, sick of all of them*****Tom and Katie, if I see you two in my paper or on my TV anymore, I'm gonna scream! So, you're in love? Big deal! I guess you don't care about what people will say by Thanksgiving when you two lovebirds call it quits! On the other end, you've got Brad and Angelina who always sidestep the issue when asked about their status together. What's the big secret? Yeah, she's pretty darn hot, just a little crazy. Regardless of the fact, I wish they would stop making the news. The war in Iraq would be refreshing to hear about for a change!*****Hooter's Airlines added Las Vegas to their schedule starting tonight from Gary. If you're a guy and step off the plane in the desert, you'll really look like a big wheel getting off the Hooter's jet. Getting on the plane to come home is a different can of worms. Forget the Southwest Airlines TV show...I want to see a show filmed around the Hooter's flights. Can you imagine guys being up all night gambling and drinking, or sitting at the airport bar and then getting on the plane? The rear wheels of the plane wouldn't even be off the ground before the groping and grabbing got started. Those girls on there with their skimpy orange shorts better know how to defend themselves or they'll be walking off the plane with hot sauce stains on their asses the shape of handprints! THAT'S the way I see it for this week! -------- Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!: THAT'S the way I see things this week!

Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!

Friday, June 10, 2005

THAT'S the way I see things this week!

ANOTHER WEEK CLOSER TO WINTER and I still don't know where I packed my summer "cabana wear!" That's OK. The commercials for IKEA's "summer clearance sale" are still airing. That means in a few months, it'll be time to bundle up!*****This will read as a "who's who" list of people that I'm sick of hearing from, or about this past week,,,good thing I don't live within the city limits of Chicago. I'd have Richard Daley as my Mayor. Now this guy, always notorious for giving jobs to people who feather his nest, has added heroin dealers to his payroll along with workers who train pitbulls to fight. Along comes Jesse Jackson Jr. and his plans to run against Daley. Just like his old man, he doesn't know what he wants to do next except for making the nightly news every night. His Dad has been in the news too! At 4 in the afternoon he's in New York or D.C., and in the evening he's flying out to L.A. to "pray" with Michael Jackson! Jacko doesn't want to pray, he wants to "play." Everyone I mention above, sick of all of them*****Tom and Katie, if I see you two in my paper or on my TV anymore, I'm gonna scream! So, you're in love? Big deal! I guess you don't care about what people will say by Thanksgiving when you two lovebirds call it quits! On the other end, you've got Brad and Angelina who always sidestep the issue when asked about their status together. What's the big secret? Yeah, she's pretty darn hot, just a little crazy. Regardless of the fact, I wish they would stop making the news. The war in Iraq would be refreshing to hear about for a change!*****Hooter's Airlines added Las Vegas to their schedule starting tonight from Gary. If you're a guy and step off the plane in the desert, you'll really look like a big wheel getting off the Hooter's jet. Getting on the plane to come home is a different can of worms. Forget the Southwest Airlines TV show...I want to see a show filmed around the Hooter's flights. Can you imagine guys being up all night gambling and drinking, or sitting at the airport bar and then getting on the plane? The rear wheels of the plane wouldn't even be off the ground before the groping and grabbing got started. Those girls on there with their skimpy orange shorts better know how to defend themselves or they'll be walking off the plane with hot sauce stains on their asses the shape of handprints! THAT'S the way I see it for this week!

posted by Dave Sypniewski at Friday, June 10, 2005

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