AUTHOR: Dave Sypniewski DATE: Friday, May 13, 2005 ----- BODY: Waking up in Michael Jackson's bed with Michael by your side would make any kid scream! Michael Jackson was able to work some magic again by casting a spell on Macaulay Culkin at his trial this week. Wacko Jacko stared across the courtroom at Mac as he testified that the guy who looks like a burning birthday candle invited him to cuddle up in bed with him, but kept his hands to himself thank you very much. PULEEZE! Of course Culkin would say that! HIS own parents were taking his money after all the movies he made and he had to take THEM to court to get it back. With that kind of drama in a "dysfunctional" family, any kid would want to get out of the house and play at Neverland Ranch, even if it means drinking "Jesus juice", viewing porn, and lying next to Michael in bed in your underwear! What I DON'T believe, is that Culkin said he didn't know people were talking until he saw it on CNN a few years ago. Having said that, it's obvious that Jackson wasn't serving white zinfadel rather, something more like MD 20/20 or Thunderbird! *******Who would have thought predicting something like rain in Chicago this year could be such a headache for all our TV weather people? For the first time in a long time, all the stations have been in agreement when predicting the next day's weather! They've all said day after day this week that it's going to rain. Guess what? They were ALL wrong and at this moment, still are! The one person who should be most ashamed of himself is WGN-TV's Tom Skilling. Here's a chap who has all kinds of awards on his office wall at Bradley Place and recently had a million dollars worth of computer and radar equiptment installed, and is the STANDARD for Chicago weather, and I can still just look out the window at the dark clouds to know to grab an umberella!******The Star Wars hype keeps heating up as some people spent $500 for an early screening of the latest movie. I'm already sick of all the product tie-ins with 7-11, Burger King, and Sunshine Foods to name a few. Though I'm sure it won't happen, I'd like to see it be a flop...kind of like that new Jennifer Lopez movie that came out today!*****Finally, what's up with "7th Heaven" on the WB? I quit watching a long time ago because of the revolving door of cast members, but I thought Jessica Biehl left the show a few years ago? How then are they able to still have her as a main storyline? It looks like they might kill her off before the season ends...maybe NOT such a good idea. She left to have a big movie career and gave us such gems as "Texas Chainsaw" remake and "Blade 3." I don't see any Academy award winners here so she'd better come back to the show! I must admit, I don't even see an Emmy in Jessica's future. Maybe stick to the "Miss Clairol" commercials??!!! ...and THAT'S the way I see it for this week! -------- Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!: ...and THAT'S the way I see this week!

Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!

Friday, May 13, 2005

...and THAT'S the way I see this week!

Waking up in Michael Jackson's bed with Michael by your side would make any kid scream! Michael Jackson was able to work some magic again by casting a spell on Macaulay Culkin at his trial this week. Wacko Jacko stared across the courtroom at Mac as he testified that the guy who looks like a burning birthday candle invited him to cuddle up in bed with him, but kept his hands to himself thank you very much. PULEEZE! Of course Culkin would say that! HIS own parents were taking his money after all the movies he made and he had to take THEM to court to get it back. With that kind of drama in a "dysfunctional" family, any kid would want to get out of the house and play at Neverland Ranch, even if it means drinking "Jesus juice", viewing porn, and lying next to Michael in bed in your underwear! What I DON'T believe, is that Culkin said he didn't know people were talking until he saw it on CNN a few years ago. Having said that, it's obvious that Jackson wasn't serving white zinfadel rather, something more like MD 20/20 or Thunderbird! *******Who would have thought predicting something like rain in Chicago this year could be such a headache for all our TV weather people? For the first time in a long time, all the stations have been in agreement when predicting the next day's weather! They've all said day after day this week that it's going to rain. Guess what? They were ALL wrong and at this moment, still are! The one person who should be most ashamed of himself is WGN-TV's Tom Skilling. Here's a chap who has all kinds of awards on his office wall at Bradley Place and recently had a million dollars worth of computer and radar equiptment installed, and is the STANDARD for Chicago weather, and I can still just look out the window at the dark clouds to know to grab an umberella!******The Star Wars hype keeps heating up as some people spent $500 for an early screening of the latest movie. I'm already sick of all the product tie-ins with 7-11, Burger King, and Sunshine Foods to name a few. Though I'm sure it won't happen, I'd like to see it be a flop...kind of like that new Jennifer Lopez movie that came out today!*****Finally, what's up with "7th Heaven" on the WB? I quit watching a long time ago because of the revolving door of cast members, but I thought Jessica Biehl left the show a few years ago? How then are they able to still have her as a main storyline? It looks like they might kill her off before the season ends...maybe NOT such a good idea. She left to have a big movie career and gave us such gems as "Texas Chainsaw" remake and "Blade 3." I don't see any Academy award winners here so she'd better come back to the show! I must admit, I don't even see an Emmy in Jessica's future. Maybe stick to the "Miss Clairol" commercials??!!! ...and THAT'S the way I see it for this week!

posted by Dave Sypniewski at Friday, May 13, 2005

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