AUTHOR: Dave Sypniewski DATE: Wednesday, August 16, 2006 ----- BODY: Too bad Dr. Carl Sagan's soul has exited the "third rock from the sun". This may be a good time to dig up his bones and put him on a panel of experts who are debating the current status of the universe! Dr. Sagan went to his grave leaving behind a galaxy of unanswered questions. This guy was ready to debate everything from Einstein's "E=MC Squared" to 1969's "Man landing on the moon". Before his death, Dr. Sagan was quick to dismiss others beliefs that we are not alone in the universe. "We are here and that's it. There is no other life out there!". Then what? He goes and writes a book called "Contact" which later got turned into a feature film with Jodie Foster. Everything in the movie version is a total contradiction to Sagan's heartfelt opinion's. Now, at the latter end of 2006 comes a new controversey: The expanding universe and other crap. Let me explain. Albert Einstein was one of many who believe the universe is kind of like a rubberband. You can stretch it only so far and then it snaps back resulting in it collapsing on itself only to result in another "Big Bang" where the whole process is repeated again. Which means, BILLIONS and BILLIONS of years ago, there may have been a place that supported some sort of life. Hey, nobody will ever know. Now comes word this week that the fate of our last planet Pluto hangs in the balance. Goofy, isn't it? Pluto was discovered in the 1920's and given it's name in the 1930's. That's where Mr. Walt Disney decided to name a cartoon doggie "Pluto". Now, to this day I can't understand how "Goofy" is a dog, and his pet "Pluto" is also a dog. If this is some kind of symbolism for Uncle Walt's sexuality...I'm not even going to go there. Now, never mind what you learned in school about the nine planets. They're still deciding if Pluto is a planet or just a big rock. I say, what's the difference? A commitee meets in Europe next week to not only discuss the status of Pluto, but also the discovery of a possible three more planets. When it's all said and done, there could be 12. Now when your kids have you do their school project for them, you'll have to figure out where to squeeze the three extras into the solar system. Goofy? Maybe. At least Goofy, Pluto and this whole debate have one thing in common: They're all full of poop! -------- Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!: "BILLIONS and BILLIONS of stars", "Are you GOOFY?", "Pluto: dog or planet?"

Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

"BILLIONS and BILLIONS of stars", "Are you GOOFY?", "Pluto: dog or planet?"

Too bad Dr. Carl Sagan's soul has exited the "third rock from the sun". This may be a good time to dig up his bones and put him on a panel of experts who are debating the current status of the universe! Dr. Sagan went to his grave leaving behind a galaxy of unanswered questions. This guy was ready to debate everything from Einstein's "E=MC Squared" to 1969's "Man landing on the moon". Before his death, Dr. Sagan was quick to dismiss others beliefs that we are not alone in the universe. "We are here and that's it. There is no other life out there!". Then what? He goes and writes a book called "Contact" which later got turned into a feature film with Jodie Foster. Everything in the movie version is a total contradiction to Sagan's heartfelt opinion's. Now, at the latter end of 2006 comes a new controversey: The expanding universe and other crap. Let me explain. Albert Einstein was one of many who believe the universe is kind of like a rubberband. You can stretch it only so far and then it snaps back resulting in it collapsing on itself only to result in another "Big Bang" where the whole process is repeated again. Which means, BILLIONS and BILLIONS of years ago, there may have been a place that supported some sort of life. Hey, nobody will ever know. Now comes word this week that the fate of our last planet Pluto hangs in the balance. Goofy, isn't it? Pluto was discovered in the 1920's and given it's name in the 1930's. That's where Mr. Walt Disney decided to name a cartoon doggie "Pluto". Now, to this day I can't understand how "Goofy" is a dog, and his pet "Pluto" is also a dog. If this is some kind of symbolism for Uncle Walt's sexuality...I'm not even going to go there. Now, never mind what you learned in school about the nine planets. They're still deciding if Pluto is a planet or just a big rock. I say, what's the difference? A commitee meets in Europe next week to not only discuss the status of Pluto, but also the discovery of a possible three more planets. When it's all said and done, there could be 12. Now when your kids have you do their school project for them, you'll have to figure out where to squeeze the three extras into the solar system. Goofy? Maybe. At least Goofy, Pluto and this whole debate have one thing in common: They're all full of poop!

posted by Dave Sypniewski at Wednesday, August 16, 2006

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