AUTHOR: Dave Sypniewski DATE: Saturday, March 04, 2006 ----- BODY: 1987...Coca-Cola tried to cover their losses of the failed "New Coke" by entering the clothing business. Now, admit it. Someone out there at one time had some Coca-Cola jeans or a sweatshirt hanging in their closet. The stuff wasn't cheap either which is why they were able to regroup and proceed to export the sodie-pop overseas to places that quite literally don't have a pot to pee in. Comes word tonight that India wants the sugar water exported back to America. After opening a production facility out there, the Indians are complaining that the plant is stealing all their water supply! Although Coke is denying these allegations, drinking water is being shipped in by tanker trucks while people are gasping their last breaths dying in the street of dehydration. I believe those Indian people have a good argument here. At the turn of the 20th Century Coke was made with cocaine, then came the "New Coke" fiasco, followed by the recent "Vanilla Coke" disaster. The truth is, Coke's ads from the 1970's which labeled themselves as "The Real Thing" is even phoney baloney in the U.S.! "The Real Thing" is actually only found in Mexico where Coke is made with real sugar cane and not that crappy corn syrup. While parts of India are burning flags and dummies of President Bush, the other half is parading around with signs that have a coke can and a red circle with a backslash through it! We may be in trouble here. Imagine the cola wars actually becoming "the cola wars". Coke may be what Nostradamus saw in his visions as the cause of the end of the world! Who spiked the water in the Mississippi River? What's all the flap over some people in the Missourri State Legislature deciding to make Christianity the official religion of the state? I think that sometimes these politicians just like to stir the pot. Did they not learn anything about the battle to display the Ten Commandments in the Alabama courthouse? How about the Atheists who wanted to get rid of the Pledge? All this means outside of all the controversey, is that this will be an issue that will make it's way to The Supreme Court. The argument here is that they say the majority of the state, and nation are Christians. They shouldn't make a big deal out of this...let it pass legislation and go in the books. A few years from now, how many people will remember? Let's face facts...every one of the 50 states has their own bird, flower, song, etc. I'm willing to bet that nobody knows what any of these things are in Missourri or anyplace else for that matter! Finally, more politics. Let's play Hardball and Meet the Press! Y'know, I've had about enough of political commercials by candidates running for Governor of Illinois. It seems as though the only guy with a normal name is as crooked as they come. Jim Oberweiss. Dairy farmer, businessman. The guy that creates phony newspaper headlines and DAMMIT, hates Mexicans! The irony here is that if you visit his farm, there's probably nothing but Mexican farmhands as employees! Sure, he's got a lot of stores that just like the 1950's, their milkmen will deliver a nice glass bottle of milk to your front door, and he's got the ice cream thing going too. This is the 2nd time around that Oberweiss is in the race to Springfield. He's got the name though. Illinois always stands out on a map as being unique in shape. Now, we have names to go with it. There's a guy named Franci something ot other running. We have our current crooked Gov. Rod Blagoyavich. We have Borak Obhama. We also have Rhaam Emmanuel. What the HELL is this? Is there anyone out there named Bill, Tom or Ted anymore? I'm announcing my campaign for Governor right now. It's too late to be on the ballot for the primary, but you can write me in. "Dave works with you...not just for you!" -------- Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!: "No Coke. Pepsi" and "Holy Christianity Batman! We're in Missourri!"

Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!

Saturday, March 04, 2006

"No Coke. Pepsi" and "Holy Christianity Batman! We're in Missourri!"

1987...Coca-Cola tried to cover their losses of the failed "New Coke" by entering the clothing business. Now, admit it. Someone out there at one time had some Coca-Cola jeans or a sweatshirt hanging in their closet. The stuff wasn't cheap either which is why they were able to regroup and proceed to export the sodie-pop overseas to places that quite literally don't have a pot to pee in. Comes word tonight that India wants the sugar water exported back to America. After opening a production facility out there, the Indians are complaining that the plant is stealing all their water supply! Although Coke is denying these allegations, drinking water is being shipped in by tanker trucks while people are gasping their last breaths dying in the street of dehydration. I believe those Indian people have a good argument here. At the turn of the 20th Century Coke was made with cocaine, then came the "New Coke" fiasco, followed by the recent "Vanilla Coke" disaster. The truth is, Coke's ads from the 1970's which labeled themselves as "The Real Thing" is even phoney baloney in the U.S.! "The Real Thing" is actually only found in Mexico where Coke is made with real sugar cane and not that crappy corn syrup. While parts of India are burning flags and dummies of President Bush, the other half is parading around with signs that have a coke can and a red circle with a backslash through it! We may be in trouble here. Imagine the cola wars actually becoming "the cola wars". Coke may be what Nostradamus saw in his visions as the cause of the end of the world! Who spiked the water in the Mississippi River? What's all the flap over some people in the Missourri State Legislature deciding to make Christianity the official religion of the state? I think that sometimes these politicians just like to stir the pot. Did they not learn anything about the battle to display the Ten Commandments in the Alabama courthouse? How about the Atheists who wanted to get rid of the Pledge? All this means outside of all the controversey, is that this will be an issue that will make it's way to The Supreme Court. The argument here is that they say the majority of the state, and nation are Christians. They shouldn't make a big deal out of this...let it pass legislation and go in the books. A few years from now, how many people will remember? Let's face facts...every one of the 50 states has their own bird, flower, song, etc. I'm willing to bet that nobody knows what any of these things are in Missourri or anyplace else for that matter! Finally, more politics. Let's play Hardball and Meet the Press! Y'know, I've had about enough of political commercials by candidates running for Governor of Illinois. It seems as though the only guy with a normal name is as crooked as they come. Jim Oberweiss. Dairy farmer, businessman. The guy that creates phony newspaper headlines and DAMMIT, hates Mexicans! The irony here is that if you visit his farm, there's probably nothing but Mexican farmhands as employees! Sure, he's got a lot of stores that just like the 1950's, their milkmen will deliver a nice glass bottle of milk to your front door, and he's got the ice cream thing going too. This is the 2nd time around that Oberweiss is in the race to Springfield. He's got the name though. Illinois always stands out on a map as being unique in shape. Now, we have names to go with it. There's a guy named Franci something ot other running. We have our current crooked Gov. Rod Blagoyavich. We have Borak Obhama. We also have Rhaam Emmanuel. What the HELL is this? Is there anyone out there named Bill, Tom or Ted anymore? I'm announcing my campaign for Governor right now. It's too late to be on the ballot for the primary, but you can write me in. "Dave works with you...not just for you!"

posted by Dave Sypniewski at Saturday, March 04, 2006

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