AUTHOR: Dave Sypniewski DATE: Tuesday, August 09, 2005 ----- BODY: Didja ever notice how so many people are retiring early these days? Alfred my mailman, er, should I say "Postal Worker?" I don't even know what's politically correct anymore. Anyway, Alfred recently retired. He was climbing up and down flights of stairs until he turned 70, all the while carrying his mailbag full of sales papers, advertising, and Publisher's Clearing House envelopes that lets face it, will get thrown out anyway if you don't check the box that says you want a years subscription to Oprah's magazine...Alfred came around every morning like clockwork, 9:00 on the nose no matter what the weather was. He was always smiling, never had a bad thing to say about anyone, and he smoked. Smoked like a chimney. Now, years ago at Christmastime it was customary to give the mailman a bottle of scotch. My neighborhood learned fast that Alfred wasn't interested in drinking. He always told us to keep it for ourselves. What he would accept was a carton of Lucky Strikes. No filters on those puppies. He always joked that he never bothered with filters because "It only slows down the smoke from reaching your lungs!" Alfred was never caught without a pack of smokes. Never, until Al retired a few months ago. He was healthy as a horse. He went to visit his doctor and nervously puffed away while in the waiting room. His doctor gave him a clean bill of health and even gave Al one of those stress tests where you walk and walk and don't get anywhere...a treadmill I think. When it was over the doctor suggested after so many years it was time to quit smoking and surprisingly, Al agreed even though he knew it wasn't going to be easy, it was probably a good idea. I ran into Al last week at the Exxon station and he was doing real good all things considered. That was the last time I saw him. I read in yesterday's New York Post that Alfred had died. At the funeral service his wife whispered to me that Al was doing good until the damn doctor brought up quitting smoking. Martha put a carton of Lucky Strikes in with Al before they closed the lid. At least Al can enjoy himself when he makes it through the Pearly Gates. The same goes for my colleague over at ABC. Peter Jennings was told to stop in April. He did, and look where it got him. I'll be 100 in September and while these youngsters keep retiring and passing on, I'm still here. Isn't that something? Look up "irony" in the dictionary and there you will see yours truly. The above was strictly the opinions of Andy Rooney and NOT this blog. TSP would like to salute Peter Jennings and we hope Andy Rooney doesn't get a call from ABC News to be a replacement! -------- Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!: And now a few minutes with Andy Rooney...

Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

And now a few minutes with Andy Rooney...

Didja ever notice how so many people are retiring early these days? Alfred my mailman, er, should I say "Postal Worker?" I don't even know what's politically correct anymore. Anyway, Alfred recently retired. He was climbing up and down flights of stairs until he turned 70, all the while carrying his mailbag full of sales papers, advertising, and Publisher's Clearing House envelopes that lets face it, will get thrown out anyway if you don't check the box that says you want a years subscription to Oprah's magazine...Alfred came around every morning like clockwork, 9:00 on the nose no matter what the weather was. He was always smiling, never had a bad thing to say about anyone, and he smoked. Smoked like a chimney. Now, years ago at Christmastime it was customary to give the mailman a bottle of scotch. My neighborhood learned fast that Alfred wasn't interested in drinking. He always told us to keep it for ourselves. What he would accept was a carton of Lucky Strikes. No filters on those puppies. He always joked that he never bothered with filters because "It only slows down the smoke from reaching your lungs!" Alfred was never caught without a pack of smokes. Never, until Al retired a few months ago. He was healthy as a horse. He went to visit his doctor and nervously puffed away while in the waiting room. His doctor gave him a clean bill of health and even gave Al one of those stress tests where you walk and walk and don't get anywhere...a treadmill I think. When it was over the doctor suggested after so many years it was time to quit smoking and surprisingly, Al agreed even though he knew it wasn't going to be easy, it was probably a good idea. I ran into Al last week at the Exxon station and he was doing real good all things considered. That was the last time I saw him. I read in yesterday's New York Post that Alfred had died. At the funeral service his wife whispered to me that Al was doing good until the damn doctor brought up quitting smoking. Martha put a carton of Lucky Strikes in with Al before they closed the lid. At least Al can enjoy himself when he makes it through the Pearly Gates. The same goes for my colleague over at ABC. Peter Jennings was told to stop in April. He did, and look where it got him. I'll be 100 in September and while these youngsters keep retiring and passing on, I'm still here. Isn't that something? Look up "irony" in the dictionary and there you will see yours truly. The above was strictly the opinions of Andy Rooney and NOT this blog. TSP would like to salute Peter Jennings and we hope Andy Rooney doesn't get a call from ABC News to be a replacement!

posted by Dave Sypniewski at Tuesday, August 09, 2005

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home