AUTHOR: Dave Sypniewski DATE: Saturday, May 14, 2005 ----- BODY: When was the last time you went to the zoo? Well, if you live here in Chicago near the Century old Lincoln Park zoo, you'd better get the little ones together and take them before many of the animals become extinct! That's right, within the same month as finding a woodpecker that hasn't been seen in 60 years, and a new animal that's a squirrel/rat/chipmunk combo that doesn't even have a name yet, Chicago is managing to wipe out some of the familiar staples like monkeys, gorillas, and elephants! Now, the President of the zoo has really gotten himself locked in a cage (pardon the pun) over these animals that have suddenly been dropping dead. He wants to quit, and the Board of Directors won't let him. He's stuck there...at least until an investigation takes place. This is where CBS jumped the gun too soon with all the CSI shows that are on. Gary Sinise has lived in Chicago his whole life and CBS gets him to do "CSI:New York." Isn't this whole thing a bummer? Gary could have stayed here and done a "CSI:Chicago" and also could have done all his plays and theatre without moving? People in Hollywood must think it's safe to go for a stroll in the park at 3 AM here! They have to. Are you telling me that Miami has more going on than Chicago that even THEY could even have a "CSI" franchise? We need a show HERE to solve this puzzling case of why the animals are dying...THEY NEED FOOD! I must admit, even for Hollywood's most talented writers, it would be kind of a stretch to make that plot go for an hour. The zoo President and B.O.D.'s all belong behind bars...no investigation needed. Hell, by the time they get to the bottom of things (that the animals need food and water) how many more monkeys will fall from the treetops! Give the animals what they need so they they can back in the business of slinging their poop at onlookers again! ...and THAT's the way I see it! -------- Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!: "Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!"

Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!

Saturday, May 14, 2005

"Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!"

When was the last time you went to the zoo? Well, if you live here in Chicago near the Century old Lincoln Park zoo, you'd better get the little ones together and take them before many of the animals become extinct! That's right, within the same month as finding a woodpecker that hasn't been seen in 60 years, and a new animal that's a squirrel/rat/chipmunk combo that doesn't even have a name yet, Chicago is managing to wipe out some of the familiar staples like monkeys, gorillas, and elephants! Now, the President of the zoo has really gotten himself locked in a cage (pardon the pun) over these animals that have suddenly been dropping dead. He wants to quit, and the Board of Directors won't let him. He's stuck there...at least until an investigation takes place. This is where CBS jumped the gun too soon with all the CSI shows that are on. Gary Sinise has lived in Chicago his whole life and CBS gets him to do "CSI:New York." Isn't this whole thing a bummer? Gary could have stayed here and done a "CSI:Chicago" and also could have done all his plays and theatre without moving? People in Hollywood must think it's safe to go for a stroll in the park at 3 AM here! They have to. Are you telling me that Miami has more going on than Chicago that even THEY could even have a "CSI" franchise? We need a show HERE to solve this puzzling case of why the animals are dying...THEY NEED FOOD! I must admit, even for Hollywood's most talented writers, it would be kind of a stretch to make that plot go for an hour. The zoo President and B.O.D.'s all belong behind bars...no investigation needed. Hell, by the time they get to the bottom of things (that the animals need food and water) how many more monkeys will fall from the treetops! Give the animals what they need so they they can back in the business of slinging their poop at onlookers again! ...and THAT's the way I see it!

posted by Dave Sypniewski at Saturday, May 14, 2005

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