AUTHOR: Dave Sypniewski DATE: Thursday, March 31, 2005 ----- BODY: Happy Birthday Frank Oz! Finally! Bert and Ernie reveal their true stripes! Posted by Hello I was surprised to read in the paper today that one of Sesame Street's creators, Frank Oz celebrated a birthday this week. Care to take a guess on the age? 60 years old. That's it. This is one of the guys that you never really see however, he also dabbles in acting playing mostly bit parts. His responsibilities kind of increased when main creator and puppeteer, Jim Henson kicked the bucket several years ago due to AIDS. He can only do so much though, because Jim Henson's kid calls most of the shots. He keeps passing around the whole kit and kaboodle from one person to another like a hot potato. Disney currently owns the rights to some of these characters so they're not going to take too kindly to what I have to say about "The Muppets." BRING THE SHOW INTO THE 21st CENTURY! This show is nearly 37 years old. The way I see it, if PBS is always having these damn pledge drives and nickel and diming you, YOU should have a say so as to what's on Sesame Street when your kids turn on the boob tube. PBS shouldn't keep sugar-coating the show. Nobody lives in a neighborhood like that! That apartment building? You put a mexican, a Jew, a black guy, and gay Bob who wears more makeup than a $2 hooker together...they're not going to sing and dance, they're going to drive one another crazy, maybe beat the shit out of one another. That's how the real world is. The mexican will be drunk all the time, the Jew will always be calling the cops on account of all the noise OY! The black guy will be smoking the crack pipe on the front porch, and Bob will sing a happy song as he sneaks his "partner" in through the back door when nobody's looking. Also, no more famous people reciting the alphabet or counting to 10. When I saw Kid Rock on there with the kids in a circle around him, I thought Jesus! Who's this guy's agent? He's always stoned and reeks like pot, and they put him together with these kids? Who's going to make it to 10 first? They also need to get rid of the toys. I speak mainly of "Elmo." Is that damn puppet a boy or a girl? Every year around Christmas, sure as shit, there's another Elmo doll doing something stupid. He's either laughing his ass off, doing the hokey pokey, or taking a nap. How about the "Tickle My Nuts" Elmo? give the other dolls to the kids, and you dads can keep this one for yourself! It's really crazy to turn on Sesame Street and see everyone laughing it up and getting along. Show me a neighborhood like that and I'm moving there. Oh, there's one other thing. Big Bird's friend Mr. Snuffleufagus. It's 37 years and not one person has seen him?! This big wooly mammoth elephant hybrid is HUGE and makes a lot of noise. You'd have to have your head up your ass to miss this thing walking across the street! Yeah, Happy Birthday Frank. Get on the ball and show me the truth. If you fess up to it or not, we all know that Bert and Ernie are two fags! -------- Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!: ...and Kermit makes it a threesome!

Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!

Thursday, March 31, 2005

...and Kermit makes it a threesome!

Happy Birthday Frank Oz! Finally! Bert and Ernie reveal their true stripes! Posted by Hello I was surprised to read in the paper today that one of Sesame Street's creators, Frank Oz celebrated a birthday this week. Care to take a guess on the age? 60 years old. That's it. This is one of the guys that you never really see however, he also dabbles in acting playing mostly bit parts. His responsibilities kind of increased when main creator and puppeteer, Jim Henson kicked the bucket several years ago due to AIDS. He can only do so much though, because Jim Henson's kid calls most of the shots. He keeps passing around the whole kit and kaboodle from one person to another like a hot potato. Disney currently owns the rights to some of these characters so they're not going to take too kindly to what I have to say about "The Muppets." BRING THE SHOW INTO THE 21st CENTURY! This show is nearly 37 years old. The way I see it, if PBS is always having these damn pledge drives and nickel and diming you, YOU should have a say so as to what's on Sesame Street when your kids turn on the boob tube. PBS shouldn't keep sugar-coating the show. Nobody lives in a neighborhood like that! That apartment building? You put a mexican, a Jew, a black guy, and gay Bob who wears more makeup than a $2 hooker together...they're not going to sing and dance, they're going to drive one another crazy, maybe beat the shit out of one another. That's how the real world is. The mexican will be drunk all the time, the Jew will always be calling the cops on account of all the noise OY! The black guy will be smoking the crack pipe on the front porch, and Bob will sing a happy song as he sneaks his "partner" in through the back door when nobody's looking. Also, no more famous people reciting the alphabet or counting to 10. When I saw Kid Rock on there with the kids in a circle around him, I thought Jesus! Who's this guy's agent? He's always stoned and reeks like pot, and they put him together with these kids? Who's going to make it to 10 first? They also need to get rid of the toys. I speak mainly of "Elmo." Is that damn puppet a boy or a girl? Every year around Christmas, sure as shit, there's another Elmo doll doing something stupid. He's either laughing his ass off, doing the hokey pokey, or taking a nap. How about the "Tickle My Nuts" Elmo? give the other dolls to the kids, and you dads can keep this one for yourself! It's really crazy to turn on Sesame Street and see everyone laughing it up and getting along. Show me a neighborhood like that and I'm moving there. Oh, there's one other thing. Big Bird's friend Mr. Snuffleufagus. It's 37 years and not one person has seen him?! This big wooly mammoth elephant hybrid is HUGE and makes a lot of noise. You'd have to have your head up your ass to miss this thing walking across the street! Yeah, Happy Birthday Frank. Get on the ball and show me the truth. If you fess up to it or not, we all know that Bert and Ernie are two fags!

posted by Dave Sypniewski at Thursday, March 31, 2005

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