AUTHOR: Dave Sypniewski DATE: Sunday, August 20, 2006 ----- BODY:
Thank goodness for teenagers! Thank goodness for snakes! Thank goodness for a plane of terrorists. Throw them all in a bag and shake them up and dump it out, you end up with this weekends top grossing movie, Snakes on a Plane. This is one movie that can thank the Internet for being made in the first place. When the people that came up with this idea and approached several movie studios, they were all laughed out of Hollywood! Before being shown the door, they said, "No problem! We'll just make it ourselves and make it available for download on the Internet!" And that was that...or so they thought. Before anything even got started, someone with the film leaked it on their Blog *trust me, it wasn't me) and then it snowballed. They asked Samuel L. Jackson for help and he thought for a while, "let's see, there was Pulp Fiction from around ten years ago and then...aw shucks! Alright already, I'll do it!" As a result, Jackson's role in the movie has put him back on the map for sequels like Snotty Kids on School Bus and Old ladies in a Bingo Hall. I hope he makes one called, Buzzzzz. A good title for a guy who will now be forever linked to "B" movies from now on. Spike Lee is back with a new film too! Spike was worried that his new documentary about Hurricane Katrina and the damage it did to minorities would be overlooked because of high ticket prices and people that couldn't afford to see it. I guess he can sleep good now that HBO has agreed to air it. If you're too poor to go to the movies, what makes him think you're rich enough for a premium channel like HBO? Personally, I think this 4 1/2 hour journey through people's lives in New Orleans called When The Levee Breaks won't be in theaters not because of ticket prices, but rather because at home you can change the channel after a few minutes. At the movies, you feel you have to stay the whole 4 1/2 hours regardless of the fact it's too damn long! Hey, $10 a ticket and watch a grizzly bear juggle plates for 4 1/2 so I get my money's worth! Finally, Barbara Walters has been in the news for the tight ship she runs on ABC's "The View". Everyone that works side by side with her leaves or gets fired and are quick to talk to magazines and gossip shows about what an angry, bitter person Miss Walters is to not only those she works with, but people that work for her. Star Jones is still angry about getting hauled off by security from the show, and Barbara Walters' former Chef and Waitress at her favorite upscale restaurant were quick to tell "Access Hollywood" that Babs was very demanding and very seldom left a tip. All of these people that are all of a sudden coming out of the woodwork and throwing daggers, are enough to drive a person like Babs to go crazy! She needs to take some time off and rest. Without anyone even blinking an eye, Barry Manilow could slip into her spot. Maybe if Barbara can sing showtunes and play the piano she can take over for a vary tired Barry who's been canceling shows due to fatigue. Is it me, or she looking more and more like Barry, or is Barry looking more and more like Barbara? Ladies, start writing to "The View" to restore peace and harmony onto the set of a show too pumped up with Barbara's ego!
-------- Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!: "Ssssstupid", "Spike Lee does Led Zeppelin", and "Barbara Manilow?"

Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!

Sunday, August 20, 2006

"Ssssstupid", "Spike Lee does Led Zeppelin", and "Barbara Manilow?"

Thank goodness for teenagers! Thank goodness for snakes! Thank goodness for a plane of terrorists. Throw them all in a bag and shake them up and dump it out, you end up with this weekends top grossing movie, Snakes on a Plane. This is one movie that can thank the Internet for being made in the first place. When the people that came up with this idea and approached several movie studios, they were all laughed out of Hollywood! Before being shown the door, they said, "No problem! We'll just make it ourselves and make it available for download on the Internet!" And that was that...or so they thought. Before anything even got started, someone with the film leaked it on their Blog *trust me, it wasn't me) and then it snowballed. They asked Samuel L. Jackson for help and he thought for a while, "let's see, there was Pulp Fiction from around ten years ago and then...aw shucks! Alright already, I'll do it!" As a result, Jackson's role in the movie has put him back on the map for sequels like Snotty Kids on School Bus and Old ladies in a Bingo Hall. I hope he makes one called, Buzzzzz. A good title for a guy who will now be forever linked to "B" movies from now on. Spike Lee is back with a new film too! Spike was worried that his new documentary about Hurricane Katrina and the damage it did to minorities would be overlooked because of high ticket prices and people that couldn't afford to see it. I guess he can sleep good now that HBO has agreed to air it. If you're too poor to go to the movies, what makes him think you're rich enough for a premium channel like HBO? Personally, I think this 4 1/2 hour journey through people's lives in New Orleans called When The Levee Breaks won't be in theaters not because of ticket prices, but rather because at home you can change the channel after a few minutes. At the movies, you feel you have to stay the whole 4 1/2 hours regardless of the fact it's too damn long! Hey, $10 a ticket and watch a grizzly bear juggle plates for 4 1/2 so I get my money's worth! Finally, Barbara Walters has been in the news for the tight ship she runs on ABC's "The View". Everyone that works side by side with her leaves or gets fired and are quick to talk to magazines and gossip shows about what an angry, bitter person Miss Walters is to not only those she works with, but people that work for her. Star Jones is still angry about getting hauled off by security from the show, and Barbara Walters' former Chef and Waitress at her favorite upscale restaurant were quick to tell "Access Hollywood" that Babs was very demanding and very seldom left a tip. All of these people that are all of a sudden coming out of the woodwork and throwing daggers, are enough to drive a person like Babs to go crazy! She needs to take some time off and rest. Without anyone even blinking an eye, Barry Manilow could slip into her spot. Maybe if Barbara can sing showtunes and play the piano she can take over for a vary tired Barry who's been canceling shows due to fatigue. Is it me, or she looking more and more like Barry, or is Barry looking more and more like Barbara? Ladies, start writing to "The View" to restore peace and harmony onto the set of a show too pumped up with Barbara's ego!

posted by Dave Sypniewski at Sunday, August 20, 2006

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