AUTHOR: Dave Sypniewski DATE: Monday, January 09, 2006 ----- BODY: Today is the first day of mail delivery since the new stamp rates went into effect. Now, if you're a real risk taker in life and maybe enjoy going to the casinos, you probably don't give a rat's naked ass about all your personal information sailing through cyberspace for everyone to see. Sure, you can do just about everything online including paying all the bills. But you know, for the rest of us we prefer getting a piece of mail or, "hard copy" in our hands as a safety net to avoid some disaster. We're also the people who complain about spam, but the day the mailman skips over our house without even those damn Dominick's ads, the whole day is shot! Over the years, the U.S. Post Office has told us a penny or two is both necessary, but not a big deal to us. So today, the cost goes up 2 cents and already they say, a year from now it will go up as much as 3 more cents. If they already know they'll need the money, why not just raise it by a nickel right now? If that's so, next year I don't want to have to dig around for 42 cents either. Just raise it to 50 cents so I can use two quarters! Then, more often than none I have at least $1 bill on me because I don't like change anyway so, a buck might be a good idea. Let's stop it there for a while and see what happens. No good? How about making the Post Office a private company with franchises and all? Kind of like the UPS Store...this would make a lot of people happy and make lots of money, and for you and me that means the price of a stamp will stay put for a while. Maybe even drop. Who says the stamp has to be the size of a well...stamp? Make it a little bit longer or a little bit wider and now that they're privately owned, they can run advertising exactly like those annoying pop-ups and banner ads on your pc. How would you like to see Lady Liberty holding a frosty mug of Miller Lite in the corner of your letter? There's all sorts of possibilities here and your mailman may be in a position to help out the struggling Post Office. Call this a prophecy, or whatever you will. Heck, if they can see into the future, so can I! I say, this will one day become reality. The brightside of all this is that you won't have to deal with grumpy, bitter, postal workers at the counter to send your "Priority Mail". You'll just have to deal with grumpy, bitter high school kids making minimum wage. Then there's the issue of who can advertise on a stamp and how long before things get sleazy when they pardon the pun, open things up to the "Adult Industry". What guy in Iraq right now wouldn't like to get a stamp with Jenna Jameson on it??? THAT'S the way I see things today. -------- Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!: Here's a suggestion for your mailman about the new stamp!

Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!

Monday, January 09, 2006

Here's a suggestion for your mailman about the new stamp!

Today is the first day of mail delivery since the new stamp rates went into effect. Now, if you're a real risk taker in life and maybe enjoy going to the casinos, you probably don't give a rat's naked ass about all your personal information sailing through cyberspace for everyone to see. Sure, you can do just about everything online including paying all the bills. But you know, for the rest of us we prefer getting a piece of mail or, "hard copy" in our hands as a safety net to avoid some disaster. We're also the people who complain about spam, but the day the mailman skips over our house without even those damn Dominick's ads, the whole day is shot! Over the years, the U.S. Post Office has told us a penny or two is both necessary, but not a big deal to us. So today, the cost goes up 2 cents and already they say, a year from now it will go up as much as 3 more cents. If they already know they'll need the money, why not just raise it by a nickel right now? If that's so, next year I don't want to have to dig around for 42 cents either. Just raise it to 50 cents so I can use two quarters! Then, more often than none I have at least $1 bill on me because I don't like change anyway so, a buck might be a good idea. Let's stop it there for a while and see what happens. No good? How about making the Post Office a private company with franchises and all? Kind of like the UPS Store...this would make a lot of people happy and make lots of money, and for you and me that means the price of a stamp will stay put for a while. Maybe even drop. Who says the stamp has to be the size of a well...stamp? Make it a little bit longer or a little bit wider and now that they're privately owned, they can run advertising exactly like those annoying pop-ups and banner ads on your pc. How would you like to see Lady Liberty holding a frosty mug of Miller Lite in the corner of your letter? There's all sorts of possibilities here and your mailman may be in a position to help out the struggling Post Office. Call this a prophecy, or whatever you will. Heck, if they can see into the future, so can I! I say, this will one day become reality. The brightside of all this is that you won't have to deal with grumpy, bitter, postal workers at the counter to send your "Priority Mail". You'll just have to deal with grumpy, bitter high school kids making minimum wage. Then there's the issue of who can advertise on a stamp and how long before things get sleazy when they pardon the pun, open things up to the "Adult Industry". What guy in Iraq right now wouldn't like to get a stamp with Jenna Jameson on it??? THAT'S the way I see things today.

posted by Dave Sypniewski at Monday, January 09, 2006

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