AUTHOR: Dave Sypniewski DATE: Friday, February 10, 2006 ----- BODY: He moved on up, to that deluxe apartment in the sky! Franklin Cover passed away on Wednesday night at age 77! Now, you might be like me and say, "Who in the hell is Franklin Cover?" He was one of two white folks that appeared regularly on The Jeffersons. Tom Willis, George and Weezie's neighbor who had a black lady for a wife. Any hopes for a reunion show are now fading away because Weezie died a few years ago and now this. It's another sad day in TV sitcom history...First "Grandpa" Al Lewis bit the dust and Cover was the week's second casualty. I hope that doesn't mean an entire weekend of The Munsters and The Jeffersons on TV Land. People in Hollywood usually die in three's. I predict the next person to go will be Peter Boyle just because he didn't look to be in good health the entire last season of Everybody Loves Raymond! Oh well, as George Jefferson might say, "See you later cracker!" Who taste tested this stuff anyway? I saw a print ad a couple weeks ago, and now I've seen it on TV. Cotton Candy and bubble gum are good things by themselves, but putting those flavors into microwave popcorn is another story. Yep, they did it. They have one with marshmallows too. Who decided that what the world is really missing is popcorn that tastes like candy? Back in the 1970's, the Jiffy Pop folks came out with popcorn that when popped, it was every color of the rainbow. That was too hard to get past. This is ten times worse. I say, "yucko" and I give it only a few months before it goes the way of green ketchup and new Coke. Oops! She did it again! What in the hell is wrong with that goofy Britney Spears anyway? Isn't it common sense that when driving your Ferrarri you don't have your baby sit on your lap?! First she apologized for her stupidity, then she took her apology back, and an hour ago she apologized again! Well, those cops out in California let her off the hook. Any other Joe Schmo that would do the same thing would go to jail and get a visit from the DCFS! That's Smith with an "e"! Those Smithe brothers are getting too big for their britches. Don't get me wrong, their commercials are funny however, what does furniture have to do with fried chicken other than leave a grease stain on the seat cushion? So, those guys have a contest going on (ala American Idol) where they ask for your videotape of you singing a new jingle for their furniture stores. I guess the commercial that resembles U2's "Vertigo" wasn't good enough. I think rather than have the contest, they'd be better off asking the real U2 to come to Chicago and do a commercial. Only problem is, we haven't had any natural disasters to give Bono and the band a good reason to come here! As for their hawking KFC, let's see how well they take it when I walk into their new showroom in Indiana with some spicy chicken wings! The thing must have gotten lost in the mail Suppose you received an invitation from President Bush to come to Washington to visit and you threw it in the garbage or had some other excuse for not receiving it? That's exactly what's going on with some of the Chicago White Sox players who are playing stupid about not knowing anything about the invite to The White House that a winning team usually gets every year. Well, the truth of the matter that sort of leaked out has nothing to do with the U.S. Mail or conflicting vacation plans. Some of the players are refusing to go because of how they feel about Iraq. Ozzie Guillen isn't even going. That's not right. He just became a U.S. citizen and thinks a trip to Branson, MO is more important than shaking hands with the Commander-in-Chief?! THAT'S the way I see things this week! -------- Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!: Here it is: The Squealing Pig week in review!

Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!

Friday, February 10, 2006

Here it is: The Squealing Pig week in review!

He moved on up, to that deluxe apartment in the sky! Franklin Cover passed away on Wednesday night at age 77! Now, you might be like me and say, "Who in the hell is Franklin Cover?" He was one of two white folks that appeared regularly on The Jeffersons. Tom Willis, George and Weezie's neighbor who had a black lady for a wife. Any hopes for a reunion show are now fading away because Weezie died a few years ago and now this. It's another sad day in TV sitcom history...First "Grandpa" Al Lewis bit the dust and Cover was the week's second casualty. I hope that doesn't mean an entire weekend of The Munsters and The Jeffersons on TV Land. People in Hollywood usually die in three's. I predict the next person to go will be Peter Boyle just because he didn't look to be in good health the entire last season of Everybody Loves Raymond! Oh well, as George Jefferson might say, "See you later cracker!" Who taste tested this stuff anyway? I saw a print ad a couple weeks ago, and now I've seen it on TV. Cotton Candy and bubble gum are good things by themselves, but putting those flavors into microwave popcorn is another story. Yep, they did it. They have one with marshmallows too. Who decided that what the world is really missing is popcorn that tastes like candy? Back in the 1970's, the Jiffy Pop folks came out with popcorn that when popped, it was every color of the rainbow. That was too hard to get past. This is ten times worse. I say, "yucko" and I give it only a few months before it goes the way of green ketchup and new Coke. Oops! She did it again! What in the hell is wrong with that goofy Britney Spears anyway? Isn't it common sense that when driving your Ferrarri you don't have your baby sit on your lap?! First she apologized for her stupidity, then she took her apology back, and an hour ago she apologized again! Well, those cops out in California let her off the hook. Any other Joe Schmo that would do the same thing would go to jail and get a visit from the DCFS! That's Smith with an "e"! Those Smithe brothers are getting too big for their britches. Don't get me wrong, their commercials are funny however, what does furniture have to do with fried chicken other than leave a grease stain on the seat cushion? So, those guys have a contest going on (ala American Idol) where they ask for your videotape of you singing a new jingle for their furniture stores. I guess the commercial that resembles U2's "Vertigo" wasn't good enough. I think rather than have the contest, they'd be better off asking the real U2 to come to Chicago and do a commercial. Only problem is, we haven't had any natural disasters to give Bono and the band a good reason to come here! As for their hawking KFC, let's see how well they take it when I walk into their new showroom in Indiana with some spicy chicken wings! The thing must have gotten lost in the mail Suppose you received an invitation from President Bush to come to Washington to visit and you threw it in the garbage or had some other excuse for not receiving it? That's exactly what's going on with some of the Chicago White Sox players who are playing stupid about not knowing anything about the invite to The White House that a winning team usually gets every year. Well, the truth of the matter that sort of leaked out has nothing to do with the U.S. Mail or conflicting vacation plans. Some of the players are refusing to go because of how they feel about Iraq. Ozzie Guillen isn't even going. That's not right. He just became a U.S. citizen and thinks a trip to Branson, MO is more important than shaking hands with the Commander-in-Chief?! THAT'S the way I see things this week!

posted by Dave Sypniewski at Friday, February 10, 2006

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