My Monday night with "The Three Kings"
Which one of "The Three Kings" is responsible for today's holiday? Well, move over Dr. King. . .you're sharing your special day with two other kings. Jerry "The King" Lawler on WWE Monday Night Raw, and that creepy character from Burger King. Let's see how all three of these measure up, and who deserves the "King" moniker:- It was in the early 1960's that Dr. King raised all kinds of hell with his civil rights movement. What many people don't realize is that almost 100 years earlier, Abraham Lincoln said the same words. People also may not know that Lincoln and Dr. King were similar in many ways. Lincoln attended operas at the King Theatre in Washington D.C., while Dr. King drove a Lincoln Town Car. Abe Lincoln worked his way into the White House, while Dr. King picked the locks to break into the White House. But seriously, he was a good man. Maybe if he wouldn't have gotten shot, there would be no Jesse Jackson! Another tragedy here was the fact that when he died, Then President Jack Kennedy telephoned Mrs. King to give his condolences. It was because of this turning point in history that African Americans embraced the Democratic party and stood behind Kennedy. Sadly, over 40 years later, 99% STILL aren't registered to vote. Make no bones about it, whenever theres any bitching to be done about President Bush and the Republicans, they're the first in line to complain!
- This mascot of Burger King needs to hop in his time machine and go back to 1970 where he came from. Personally, I'm too young to remember the shady character however, all I remember is the paper crown that us kids used to get from the counter help for being a good sport and behaving in the restaurant. This king character is crazy, and quite frankly, after watching the NFL playoffs and seeing him climb over the wall and run through the field for a touchdown, I realize how much I miss that nerdy guy Herb with the glasses that used to pop in and visit Burger Kings in the 1980's. If you spotted him dining on a Whopper, you'd win a prize like a Chevy Vega. If this king is supposed to be the BK answer to Ronald McDonald, it's not going to last.
The 3rd king is really a tie between Jerry Lawler and Elvis. Elvis has been all over the place in the last couple of days. I guess he's got a birthday or something too. Why is it that when you've been dead and buried for at least 25 years, a birthday suddenly becomes a big deal? Whenever it's my birthday, I can't get people to come over even if I offer everyone $100 bills. Elvis was in the news this morning and they were showing his grave at Graceland along with a flock of mourners who still show up religiously on a yearly basis. I think that since Geraldo has so much success with digging holes and looking for buried treasure, he should consider opening up the grave of "The King" and get to the bottom of all the conspiracy theories like, Elvis having a twin brother that died at birth and the infamous grave stone that has his middle name misspelled. As for Jerry "The King" Lawler, he's one of a kind. Never mind the phony feud he once carried out with Andy Kaufman. He puts the "R" into Monday Night Raw. Talking about puppies and making fun of Stacy Kiebler's appearance on "Dancing with the Stars".
So you see, there's a bunch of king's to pick from here. I say, if you're going to give Martin Luther King a holiday today, someone needs to get the ball rolling for the push of making Elvis' birthday a holiday too. Make it the Friday before MLK day and that way it would be a nice 4 day weekend. THAT'S the way I see things today!
posted by Dave Sypniewski at
Monday, January 16, 2006
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