Grab the remote! A quick tour across the dial...
The last few days have been crazy...really crazy! The new season of talk shows just started for most and like a big bag of Halloween candy, I can only take so much before I start feeling ill. Let's start with Dr. Phil. He switched channels in Chicago and who cares? All the women that make up up Oprah's audience with their hooting and hollering everytime she tells them to look under their seats for the free gift! Phil came to Chicago to visit the other day and nearly 400 women stood out in 90+ heat to catch a glimpse of his melon. He was more excited than a horny rooster in a henhouse. One thing I'd be anxious to see on his show is what he thinks about his son Jay proposing to a Playboy centerfold a few weeks ago. Jay's gonna put the "dys" in "functional!" How's that working for ya Dr? Speaking of looking under the seats, Tony Danza stole that idea from Oprah by quizzing the audience about something stupid, they screw up, and "Everyone look under your seats...you all get a copy of Mariah Carey's DVD 'Glitter!" and PLEASE no more stories about "Taxi" and "Who's the Boss!" Up next: Regis and Kelly. OK, I have to know why Regis must start the show by giving us the weather report in New York EVERY day?! It doesn't affect my life one way or another. I also don't really care about the Yankees, Mets, or Notre Dame either. Finally (and most importantly), Regis and Kelly should consider a new airline carrier for the daily trips they give away to Hawaii and Cabo Wabo Island. Their production company is Disney, Disney owns ABC, ABC makes "Lost." Whoever wins a trip may get lost for real because Delta Airlines filed for bankruptcy. I must confess, I caught "Martha" today. I guess she wiped the slate clean because she pretty much started from scratch telling the audience a little bit about herself, and that she was a model in her teens and made a soap commercial, and talked about her home...blah, blah, blah. Didn't we already know about all this stuff? She also had on Jay Leno who made hot wings and Susan Lucci who showed us how to put a houseplant in a flowerpot by using styrofoam packing popcorn. It was easy to tell that Martha has been away for awhile...everybody knows that styrofoam is bad for the ozone layer! There's a couple of shows I'm missing here like that trashy Maury Povich show and Ellen. As far as I'm concerned, they can take all of them off the air and put on an indian test pattern all day. THAT'S the way I see things today!
posted by Dave Sypniewski at
Thursday, September 15, 2005
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