AUTHOR: Dave Sypniewski DATE: Thursday, September 15, 2005 ----- BODY: Big breasted Britney's baby boy was born yesterday in London (Yeah, I meant to write it that way)! She is ecstatic and has already said that she's ready to start working on another one right away with her grungy, dirty, scruffy husband. I can only imagine the guy walking around the hospital and having the employees mistake him for the trash man and reminding him to "take out the rubbish". What really puzzles me is why Britney is still riding weirdo Madonna's coat tails. America wasn't good enough for Madonna, and now it's not good enough for Britney either! When will it end and how soon before Britney starts talking with a British accent and writing children's books? At last report, baby Spears is nameless but once again, following Madonna's lead, don't expect a "Kevin" or "Brian". Much too bland. It's teetering between "London" and "Preston". Personally, I like "Jeeves" Nice English name! ...Have you gone for a nice cab ride through Chicago lately? Well, there's nothing anyone can do about the driving and the stench of smelly armpits HOWEVER, things may slowly get a little bit better. The taxi cab drivers union wants to charge $1.00 fee for what they call a "service tax". As if $20.00 for a three block ride in addition to the tip you give them isn't enough, now they want an extra buck because they're doing you a "favor"! Well, let's see how far this one gets. City said it's a great idea on the condition that drivers are well groomed, wear clean white shirts and black pants, a name tag and matching shoes and socks! Sure, it's common sense but none of the cab drivers are talking. I'm guessing this proposal will be shuffled to the bottom of the deck! ...Last but not least, a story that makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside and courtesy of Yahoo! yesterday, while the airlines are still struggling after 9/11 and two more went belly up (Northwest and Delta), it's good to know that another one (US Airways) that is also struggling to stay alive, stepped up to the plate the other day to transport more Katrina victims to L.A. These weren't people...these were pets. Let's face it, most people were worried only about themselves and they left their animals behind. So, in a 21st Century version of Noah's Ark this time being a 747, an animal organization chartered a plane and had it sent to California. There were parrots, dogs, cats, snakes...you name it, and the majority of the animals were left to roam the aisles without a cage or a leash. There was no complimentary Coca-Cola or bag of peanuts however, they were all well fed and the flight attendants spent most of the flight giving baths to the critters. Yeah, some cats and dogs even got to play co-pilot and ride in the cockpit. You could say that flight went to the dogs or was for the birds. Here's hoping nothing crawled up the pilot's pant leg! :) -------- Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!: Britney's baby, cab rides, and Noah's Ark revisited.

Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Britney's baby, cab rides, and Noah's Ark revisited.

Big breasted Britney's baby boy was born yesterday in London (Yeah, I meant to write it that way)! She is ecstatic and has already said that she's ready to start working on another one right away with her grungy, dirty, scruffy husband. I can only imagine the guy walking around the hospital and having the employees mistake him for the trash man and reminding him to "take out the rubbish". What really puzzles me is why Britney is still riding weirdo Madonna's coat tails. America wasn't good enough for Madonna, and now it's not good enough for Britney either! When will it end and how soon before Britney starts talking with a British accent and writing children's books? At last report, baby Spears is nameless but once again, following Madonna's lead, don't expect a "Kevin" or "Brian". Much too bland. It's teetering between "London" and "Preston". Personally, I like "Jeeves" Nice English name! ...Have you gone for a nice cab ride through Chicago lately? Well, there's nothing anyone can do about the driving and the stench of smelly armpits HOWEVER, things may slowly get a little bit better. The taxi cab drivers union wants to charge $1.00 fee for what they call a "service tax". As if $20.00 for a three block ride in addition to the tip you give them isn't enough, now they want an extra buck because they're doing you a "favor"! Well, let's see how far this one gets. City said it's a great idea on the condition that drivers are well groomed, wear clean white shirts and black pants, a name tag and matching shoes and socks! Sure, it's common sense but none of the cab drivers are talking. I'm guessing this proposal will be shuffled to the bottom of the deck! ...Last but not least, a story that makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside and courtesy of Yahoo! yesterday, while the airlines are still struggling after 9/11 and two more went belly up (Northwest and Delta), it's good to know that another one (US Airways) that is also struggling to stay alive, stepped up to the plate the other day to transport more Katrina victims to L.A. These weren't people...these were pets. Let's face it, most people were worried only about themselves and they left their animals behind. So, in a 21st Century version of Noah's Ark this time being a 747, an animal organization chartered a plane and had it sent to California. There were parrots, dogs, cats, snakes...you name it, and the majority of the animals were left to roam the aisles without a cage or a leash. There was no complimentary Coca-Cola or bag of peanuts however, they were all well fed and the flight attendants spent most of the flight giving baths to the critters. Yeah, some cats and dogs even got to play co-pilot and ride in the cockpit. You could say that flight went to the dogs or was for the birds. Here's hoping nothing crawled up the pilot's pant leg! :)

posted by Dave Sypniewski at Thursday, September 15, 2005

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