AUTHOR: Dave Sypniewski DATE: Tuesday, April 19, 2005 ----- BODY: Even Cliff Clavin still can't believe his new title! Posted by Hello John Ratzenberger thought he would be forever typecast as goofy "Cliff the mailman" on 80's NBC Sitcom, "Cheers". Matter of fact, other than a few silly roles in some horrible movies and his own series on Travel Channel, that was pretty much the direction things were headed...That is, until around 11:30 this morning Central Time. John got the call that HE would be the next Pope! Yes, I know the Pope is Joseph Ratzinger...it would have been funny though. Which brings me to today's main gripe: The speed at which they selected this guy. The certainly didn't waste any time. I had bigger and better ideas for the voting process. You know, they've been doing things almost exactly the same way for 2000 years except for various time periods like around 600 A.D. when the Catholic church was using violence as a way to get their points across. If you did something wrong, you were banished. If you still wanted to make trouble and disagree with them (as a lot of people did) they would slice your head off. That early on in the game, Jesuit priests were already questioning what was the truth and many believers were also questioning the validity of events that happened. This was roughly around the time where some of the priests decided that they weren't going to die, so they took off and started splitting up and spreading the word their own way. This is why over time, Catholicism has branched off into other facets and religions. Everyone wanted to be Pope. For a while, at one time there were actually THREE. Even then they disagreed on the voting. All three thought they were winners. I don't remember how that thing ended however that was during the 1600's. So you see, this sticking to tradition hasn't always "stuck". What I suggest they should have done now is put it on TV and make a reality show out of it. All the cardinals could live together in a nice loft in Rome. Forget about the being silent thing! On my show they'd have to talk. Then they'd go into the "confessional" and complain about the other cardinals like saying "Cardinal Tubatu always forgets to flush the toilet" or "Cardinal Luigi always eats pizza late at night and snores too loud!" They could have these different competitions to weed people out and narrow things down. Like whoever can eat the most Madagascar hissing cockroaches in a minute can stay. The audience can even decide who should pack their bags and hit the bricks. They may have even used some form of this stuff in the past to pick the Pope so it's still keeping in tradition...and it makes for good TV. It's too late for that idea now however, this new Pope IS 79 years old! I'll remember that...and THAT'S the way I see it! -------- Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!: Ratzenberger picked as new Pope!

Squealing Pig WORLDWIDE!

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Ratzenberger picked as new Pope!

Even Cliff Clavin still can't believe his new title! Posted by Hello John Ratzenberger thought he would be forever typecast as goofy "Cliff the mailman" on 80's NBC Sitcom, "Cheers". Matter of fact, other than a few silly roles in some horrible movies and his own series on Travel Channel, that was pretty much the direction things were headed...That is, until around 11:30 this morning Central Time. John got the call that HE would be the next Pope! Yes, I know the Pope is Joseph Ratzinger...it would have been funny though. Which brings me to today's main gripe: The speed at which they selected this guy. The certainly didn't waste any time. I had bigger and better ideas for the voting process. You know, they've been doing things almost exactly the same way for 2000 years except for various time periods like around 600 A.D. when the Catholic church was using violence as a way to get their points across. If you did something wrong, you were banished. If you still wanted to make trouble and disagree with them (as a lot of people did) they would slice your head off. That early on in the game, Jesuit priests were already questioning what was the truth and many believers were also questioning the validity of events that happened. This was roughly around the time where some of the priests decided that they weren't going to die, so they took off and started splitting up and spreading the word their own way. This is why over time, Catholicism has branched off into other facets and religions. Everyone wanted to be Pope. For a while, at one time there were actually THREE. Even then they disagreed on the voting. All three thought they were winners. I don't remember how that thing ended however that was during the 1600's. So you see, this sticking to tradition hasn't always "stuck". What I suggest they should have done now is put it on TV and make a reality show out of it. All the cardinals could live together in a nice loft in Rome. Forget about the being silent thing! On my show they'd have to talk. Then they'd go into the "confessional" and complain about the other cardinals like saying "Cardinal Tubatu always forgets to flush the toilet" or "Cardinal Luigi always eats pizza late at night and snores too loud!" They could have these different competitions to weed people out and narrow things down. Like whoever can eat the most Madagascar hissing cockroaches in a minute can stay. The audience can even decide who should pack their bags and hit the bricks. They may have even used some form of this stuff in the past to pick the Pope so it's still keeping in tradition...and it makes for good TV. It's too late for that idea now however, this new Pope IS 79 years old! I'll remember that...and THAT'S the way I see it!

posted by Dave Sypniewski at Tuesday, April 19, 2005

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